Kinabalu pictures...

dawn...

view from mesilau trail yet again... 

the view on the way up to base camp 

the beginning of the journey at the head of the mesilau trail... notice the differences btw previous picture ;)

the end of the long journey... 

sunrise...notice the heart? ;) 

dawn on kinabalu 

mesilau trail again... 

one of the other lower peaks of Gunung Kinabalu 

shadow of the mountain 

view on the mesilau trail 

kinabalu seen from base camp 

a mushroom cloud :) 

on the way down 

finally at the top 

gospel camp

will be leaving for a camp (again)... tomoro until monday...
so anyway, at least i'm updating slightly more regularly :) and things are getting back to normal...
not hanging out in CC whole day, n having time to reply mails n stuff...
well... school's starting again, so some semblence of normality would be welcome relief to going out everyday since kinabalu and orientation...

habits

its kinda tough to get back into the habit of doing something once you've stopped for quite a while...
take blogging for example... after 2 weeks of non-blogging its suddenly so difficult to think up something which i think is mildly entertaining enough to put here... actually i don't think most of the stuff i put here is entertaining anyway...
haih... anyway... next week classes are starting again... so i've got just a few more days b4 i start hitting the books again... well, at least the holidays were good while it lasted...

never!!

i never thought this would happen to me... but my blog is turning into a "joyce-like" blog...
and i'm starting to feel lazy to update... no, CANNOT!!
ok, at least this week i'm quite free...n won't be playing much dotA... so i'll have some time to update my blog again...
semester's starting next week, so that's something to look forward to... :) n yeah, orientation's over...

i'm back

wah... i'm finally blogging after more den a week...
yeah, i'm back... actually came back 2 days ago, but didn't start blogging yet bcos' i was resting n blogging is hard work :P... not really, after coming back i was busy playing DotA... n nex week is orientation.. so, yay!! since last week i've been having nothing but fun almost 24 hours a day, and will continue doing so in the coming week :)

yeah... its good to be back :)
but on the other hand, it also feels like i'm kinda out of sync wif church... but nvm, saturday sunday's coming up...

kinabalu

uh-huh... will be going kinabalu on wednesday... so, sadly i won't be able to send off leena...
but, going KINABALU!! yeah, reli looking fwd :)
but anyway, that's beside the point... the point is, this blog will be in coma for about a week plus... until i return... but

I'LL BE BACK!!

great CNY

after last year where i had to work on the 3rd day of CNY... this years CNY was GREAT!!
and not just bcos' i'm comparing wif last year...
i realized in the toilet of all places... that we don't eat enough vege during CNY... about the only fibre we get during all the "bai nin" is from eating orange...
come on-lah... that teensy weensy small spoonful of mixed vege u took during the buffet lunch is going to do u any good when you're constipated with all the nuggets, sausages, fish, chicken, duck, deer, pig, cow... and whatever other imaginable animal that chinese ppl eat...
true or not?

CNY and shandy

very happy now :)...
feeling quite bubbly,
cos' i'm drinking jolly shandy...
funny how some ppl just light up when they get their favorite drink..
i remember in Bee's there was this guy who ta pau hot milk for his girlfren... wah, when get the milk only, the girl happy only-ah... reli like : "Whee, Yippee!!" ^-^.. dono how else to describe..

yay!! CNY is here... collect angpau... this year no need to work, so maybe can go visit frens... even happier :)

new shoes

i bought a new pair of shoes today...
my old pair which lasted about over a year self destructed while i was playing football about 2 weeks ago...
nowadays things aren't made to last like they used to :( ... i'm hoping this new pair can last at least for 2 years... a bit of wishful thinking, hopefully not...
both pairs of shoes (old n new) cost me 49.90...
the old wan came from a bata shop in kajang, courtesy of mei's insistance that kajang shoes are cheap n good... but den still spoil a bit fast-lah...
i'm hoping sri petaling shoes last longer den kajang shoes ;)

anyway, i stumbled across this blog linked to william's page... i find it really hilarious... do visit if like me u hav nothing to do but waste time...

fragrance

what is the most fragrant smell you've ever smelt?
we don't always notice smell as the most outstanding of senses, don't we? yet somehow, smells are(at least for me) able to bring back memories and feelings stronger than sight or hearing...

we see images from our every waking moment, our eyes often serve as the form of memory of which we store stuff, but seeing something rarely brings back memories...
hearing is slightly better, but at an age where almost everything can be recorded and played back, sometimes... too much music is really no good at all... there was a time when listening to my "Spirited Away OST" would bring back memories of the movie along with a certain buzz or feeling... same for my "Last Samurai OST"... but, now even though or rather because of "over-hearing", i can recall the movie even without the music... but the buzz or Spirited Away and the sad feeling of the Last Samurai is hard to find again...

i like the smell of rain... it still brings back memories so strongly partly because i can't control when i want to smell it... if it doesn't rain when i want it to there's nothing i can do about it...
it hadn't rained for quite a while, but it did yesterday...yeah, it rained...
the smell of rain mixed with mosquito coil smoke, brings back memories of childhood... cos' last time when i stayed in the army camp in sg besi there was lotsa mosquitoes... so i've been inhaling mosquito coil smoke quite alot since small:).. but yeah, it brings back memories of childhood... along wif a buzz :)

busy-ness vs. free-ness

i realized something... the busier i am, the more stuff i'm trying to do... but then like now when i'm on holiday when i have all the time in the world to do whatever i want, like got nothing to do...
it's really like whenever i'm studying sure have a lot of stuff to do in church n in IMU... but den once holiday that time, want to find things to do also hard-ah... its partly bcos' got too much time-lah, but then also bcos'... bcos liddat wan-lah...
its something like being online... when you're not studying u got no reason to go online, so u don't blog so much, don't chat until late at nite... but den when holiday, when REALLY got time to go online, u don't bcos' u finding other better stuff to do, like "da kei", write letters.. or just lazing around...
haih... paradox of life...

magdalene

this entire post is devoted to magdalene... all just about mag...
y? bcos' i feel sooooo guilty making her dowan 2 blog anymore...
sorry-ah magdalene, sorry-ah, sorry-ah.... its all my fault...
but, i thot of something... since some of us are super semangat at blogging,
but den others want to write but den if start own blog got nth much to write abt... i thot of creating a blog wif multiple writers... like can have me, daniel, magdalene, my sister, wengcheng, and anyone else who would want to join... but den the topic or title of the entire blog don't really know what to set about-lah... maybe TU or sunday school or something like that... the thought of doing something like the blog about thomas... dono.. maybe it'll turn out in2 sumthing like canaanyouthclass liddat...

oops... urm... supposed to be abt magdalene at first... now turn in2 dis... sorry-ah... :P
anyway, magdalene is a great girl... is just dat i'm sorry we bully her.... its all daniel's fault... ;)

tired

aiyoh... tired-lah...
it's like one of those lousy BM karangans where at the end you say... "Kami berasa letih tetapi gembira"...
yalah... today went out to play badminton in the morning at 10-1pm... and then i got an sms asking me if wan to play badminton wif IMU frens hailiang n ndrew from 3-6... wah.. being stupid as i am, of course hav to say yes-loh... n den go aldy of course they had to announce they had the bright idea of playing futsal... WAHH!!... insane-ah... of course, i'm still stupid so i says yes...
turns out it was a good decision after all... badminton wasn't that bad... besides the fact that i get whacked up as usual, but ok-lah :)... but futsal was good... i scored quite a few goals... but den all of us oso so "cha" oso expected-lah...

i did something really bad yesterday... which i really hope i don't do anymore... i really really hope.... hope.... i'm really tired of repeating the same thing over and over again.. God help me...

on the good side... or kinda good, i'm not in the viva list... which means i either failed super terribly or passed... heheh, wednesday will find out :)

audience of ONE

Big Daddy Weave- "Audience of One"

I come on my knees
To lay down before you
Bringing all that I am
Longing only to know you
Seeking your face
And not only your hand
I find you embracing me
Just as I am

And I lift these songs
To you and you alone
As I sing to you
In my praises make your home

To my audience of one
You are Father, and you are Son
As your spirit flows free,
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more
Has become my great reward
To see your kingdom come
And your will be done
I only desire to be yours,
Lord

So what could I bring
To honor your majesty
What song could I sing
That would move the heart of royalty
And all that I have
Is the life that you’ve given me
So Lord let me live for you
My song with humility

And Lord as the love song
Of my life is played
I have one desire
To bring glory to your name

To my audience of one
You are Father, and you are Son
As your spirit flows free,
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more
Has become my great reward
To see your kingdom come
And your will be done
I only desire to be yours,
Lord

And we lift these songs
To you and you alone
As we sing to you
In our praises make your home

To my audience of one
You are Father, and you are Son
As your spirit flows free,
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more
Has become my great reward
To see your kingdom come
And your will be done
I only desire to be yours,
Lord

*lyrics courtesy of christianrocklyrics.com

i got a christian rock CD for last christmas.. n this was the first track-lah... its a little sad, but somehow at times this christian stuff may seem a little too commercialized... just google anything christian and see what comes out...

in spite of what christian lyrics always sing of, we often think that WE are the audience to christian worship or music... we tend to say, this band isn't as good Jars of Clay, or the drummer sux, or the music is really terrible... but is what we think of the music really important?

after all, shouldn't the music be for God, not for us? aren't we all supposed to be participating in the worship of our God when we're listening to all christian rock, live worship, christian jazz... whatever... are we listening for entertainment or worshipping our God?

blanket

ok... the wierdest thing happend last nite... or rather this morning... uhh, sometime between the sunset of yesterday and sunrise of this morning-lah...
yeah, i was sleeping... so sleep sleep sleep...
den in the middle of the night feeling cold lah... so sub-conciously start feeling around for the blanket... feel feel feel..eh, cannot find? a bit wake up aldy, so start feeling on the floor around the bed... aik?? still dun have... so in the end i fully woke up and find find find, woik?? tak ada? open the door so that got a bit of light... weh, cannot be... reli dun hav wor... finally on the light...
WAHH!! too much man... i went to sleep without even knowing dun hav blanket... so in the end can't do n/ething n too lazy to go out of the room to find sommor, so hav to modify the bed sheet into blanket... haih, wat-lah...
den sommor dis morning ask who took my blanket all oso dono... mystery mystery... i reli tot got blanket when i was going to sleep that time... how can-lah...

uhh..holiday?

uhh.. in case anybody's wondering why i'm perpetually at the last lap but still not yet holiday...
i AM ON HOLIDAY!! jus dat didn't blog only :P... but it always happens... cos' when u've got so much other fun things to do, blogging just slides down the list of stuff u hav to do...

oh,yeah... the downside to enjoying yourself too much is that i'm now broke... super broke-man...
n yesterday sent phone to repair... i'm reli hoping that warranty will cover dmg n i don't hav to pay a cent... :)

last lap

last lap!! SAQ over, OSPE tomoro... den HOLIDAY!! yay!! :) but den actually today feel like holiday :P
All the more reason to buck up!! Last lap, yes... sprint to the finish!

I have often dreamed, of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back, I can go the distance

And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its' harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
I will search the world, I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms...

EOS, maids n poyo-ness

wat does poyo mean? its one of those words dat we fling about in secondary skool without knowing what it means like bongok, toyol, cinapek, "local"... speaking of which... YeeSan made an interesting ovservation today while playing football... why when the goalie manage to make an excellent save we say, "huiyoh, keeper gila-lah!!" why not pandai-wan?

haih... 2moro EOS... last minit running thru some stuff... hopefully i didn't miss out anything-lah...
n yeah, we got a maid today... so the house suddenly like super-clean... of course there's a bad part-lah... all your stuff is rearranged... hopefully i manage to find everything i need tomoro morning :) but de new maid is nice... too nice in fact... while we're having dinner also she take water for us... aisay, no needlah... but den malaysian is like dat-lah... too good also complain, not good also complain...

out of line

a few days ago, streamyx screwed up and caused me to be unable to go online for about 2 days...
which is why i never go online or blog for quite some time...
den yesterday my handphone spoil... MY HANDPHONE SPOIL!!oh no... suddenly my world is like crashing down... no-lah, but den when my handphone spoil i feel like one of my ears is closed or like less something...
alamak... my handphone spoil, now have to send for repair... hopefully no need to buy new one... but den still got warranty-lah...
oh yeah, wat's wrong wif my phone? for some reason after on thursday ran out of batt. den when come back n i try to recharge cannot "on" back...recharge oso cannot now...
i hope no need to buy new batt or anything liddat... dat would so sux, cos' right now like no money liddat...

wah... heheh, dis entry is like the most complainingest entry i've entered in a long time... oh yeah, there was a super big blackout yesterday oso... but dat wasn't such a big deal cos' i was in IMU n IMU got gen. set, so actually tak rasa... but den when hai liang told me even johor no letrik i didn't believe until i came back home... :)
yeah, summative is on monday... THAT'S a big deal... at least it'll finally be over after 3 WEEKS study break...

blogger

i feel like blogging, but i don't really know what to blog about...
i'm supposed to be studying... but i feel like i'm rushing through my sum2 stuff a bit to quickly...
tonight feels like a good night to call up the panda... maybe i should... she starts work tomoro...

lately i've spent some time thinking about war3 strats... it's mainly cos' i don't accept defeat easily... especially when hailiang tells me its impossible to defeat 3 insane computers bcos' they get double resource gathering bonus... so i'm thinking up strats to prove him wrong...

i was flipping thru the Excelsior 2004(MBS's school mag)... i realized that i'm the sort of guy who gives you the impression like he's very smart... but then when it really matters, i.e on the exam date i always flop out.. which is why i never get those top of class awards liddat... if u look thru whole year exam results i'm always somewhere there, but never on top.. i always feel like i'm good, but not excellent cos' i'm too lazy to give that last spurt when it really counts...

war3 n exam flopping having something in common for me though... i hate giving up, n i always like it when its tough, when ppl say you can't... n den u prove them wrong by doing it...
heheh, i hardly ever achieve it though... but i relish tough situations... it kinda pushes me, although i'm still too lazy to be excellent when it really matters...

I'm invincible

Mwahahaha... daniel introduced me to this stupid flash game which apparently noone can win... except ME!! :> if you're dying of boredom and hav nth 2do there's many potential wasted hours here :P... oh yeah, i spent less den 1/2 hour "conquering" dis game...
if you still have too much time on your hands i suggest the main site... this guy must be some sort of programming genius wif too much time on his hands to make so many flash games... some are quite fun n innovative... check out Bauns and The Pond :)

it works

well... i managed to modify the code, but i feel like i did it in a sort of roundabout way...
i put the blogger code on both the start n entry elements... i'm thinking der must be a way to redirect the start to the entry element... uhh, if anyone understands wat i'm saying dat is...

why blog

why blog?
is it because we have too much time on our hands? naahh, not really... i could be playing diablo to waste my time...
is it cos' we think our lives are too interesting for ourselves dat we have to let the whole world know? naahhh, with over a million blogs, how much more interesting can one more blog be?!...
is it bcos' we think ppl enjoy reading about us complaining, ranting and raving about the world and it's insufficiencies?...
i doubt it... i don't really enjoy reading about ppl complaining, the newspaper is proof enuff dat the world isn't all blues skies smiling at you...

i think bloggers blog for themselves... n not really to entertain or tell the world about stuff dat's going on in their lives(maybe some do)
maybe bloggers blog and do continue blogging because its the only place where they're heard... maybe...
so why do i blog? actually its more bcos' i enjoy typing... even when there's nth much to type... but it's nice to type/write just for the sake of typing/writing... maybe its therapeutic for me... kinda like the way some ppl enjoy talking...

anyway.. its friday :) last day of the first week of schoolterm... studies are coming along just ok i guess... slightly ahead of schedule dat's why i can take time out here.. instead of wasting time clicking aimlessly against Diablo...

boring

boring boring boring boring... study break is boring...
aihh, reli can't wait for the weekend... as least i don't need to face my lecture notes for those 48 hours... i don't understand how ppl can't keep on studying day after day after day... i mean, facing the same piece of paper for 2 hours is enough to kill you...

anyway, i think this template should stick for sometime... hopefully :) i think it really looks good :) but den i made it, or rather, put the pieces of different blogskins together... so of course i think it looks good...

i'm going to play diablo today, i can't tahan anymore... and after summative i'm gonna start practicing war3... i don't believe its impossible to defeat 3 insane computers 3x3...

i must be crazy

i must be crazy... it's 2 AM IN THE MORNING and i've been up doing what? studying? no...
i've been up doing my blog skin... i must be crazy...

transition

ehh... u may have noticed dat the skins are changing... i'm kinda looking for a nice skin... so uhh, bear with me while i come up with something i like :P

i'm not complaining but... i haven't had human contact for over 24 hours...uhh, besides family-lah, but dat doesn't count... haih.. study break very cham...

waiting for rice to cook

i'm waiting for rice to cook, rice to cook, rice to cook...
why? because my dad forgot to cook rice for dinner although he cooked everything else...
waiting for rice to cook... hmm...

still got about 14 days more to End of Sem...
still got about a month more to Orientation...
hmm... i wonder why, but most of our life is spent waiting for stuff... we're never "there" whereever "there" is, where we don't have to wait for anything anymore...
we wait for results... wait to get into uni... wait for food to come... wait to get hungry...
and when we DO finally arrive at somewhere or sometime we've been waiting for... it never lasts long enough... it's like waiting for ice-cream... you DO enjoy eating ice-cream, but then when eating that time, eat so fast hardly enjoy... it's like the enjoying time is so short compared to the waiting time...
i think the only exception to this rule is waiting for eternity :)

2005

tired-lah... i wanted to do a refelection on what has happened the past year... but den lazy-lah...
today spent most of the afternoon packing stuff in the Red Crescent Society HQ in Ampang... mainly clothes... huiyoh, i never knew it's possible to have so much stuff in one place...
argh... my hands ache from throwing boxes bigger n heavier den me around all afternoon... it hurts so much i can hardly wash my hair...
anyway, i'm mustering whatever remaining strength i have to write a decent entry into my blog...
tomoro is first day of school for lotsa ppl... except me =)... but den i still have lots to study, so i'm not really much better off... except dat i can wake up late :P...

anyway, 2004 in brief review...
i spent the first 6 months working in Bee's... 2 more months looking for a uni and going out... and yeah, 4 months beginning August i finally did something worthwhile... studying... yeah, dat was 2004 in review... seriously i don't think i accomplished much... which is something i'm gonna try n change dis year.. :)
yay... looking fwd to 2005 :)

New Year's Eve

it's New Year's eve today... the last day of the year... i could probably use this entry to reflect on the past year... but umm... i think i'll leave that till tomoro :P

aih... i've just realized i've wasted one whole week doing absolutely nothing, when i could have finished studying at least 5 weeks worth of lectures... well... musn't waste anymore time... off to study :)

surprised

i'm surprised... at myself :P
heheh, i was just browsing around n i decided to look at my friendster profile... and hehe, i can hardly remember not to say recognize some of the stuff i typed...

Hometown: KL... the city of 3 towers

Hobbies and interests: my hobbies and interests are interesting hobbies

Favorite TV shows: TV... does that stand for Telephatic Voyeurism? but if there was a TV show i liked to watch it would have to be... something on TV

About me: Me, me and me... i am me, myself and i... let me advertise about myself, i blog at grayblade.blogspot.com... my email is tzy606@yahoo.com... my house got no chickens... my room got 1 bed... i go to church at Canaan Baptist Church...

Who I want to meet: humans, malaysians, little bug like creatures, preferably put the humans in test tubes, malaysians in an incubator and the little bug like creatures in houses...

huh? What? where'd all that come from?... i don't even recall myself being so lame... oh man... i'm worse then i think i am...

Earthquake tragedy

Today(Boxing Day) at abt 9am, an earthquake occured in Aceh, Indonesia... besides initial casualties from earthquake... the earthquake n subsequent aftershocks caused tidal waves dat wreaked massive dmg all around the surrounding nations... M'sia included... although not as bad as India(thousands...) it's still shocking, cos' M'sia has never experienced a natural catastrophe as bad as this before... i've never actually imagined disaster could strike so close to home...even ppl in Taman Desa n in Rawang could feel the tremors... gosh, dat's like so close to SP...

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! :) 

christmas eve

every year, there comes that special season of the year when we remember what it means to love and be loved once again... to relive memories of the Past, look forward to hope of the Future and celebrate the gift of the Present.
Christmas is the season for giving and forgiving, christmas is the season when we learn that joy doesn't come from getting, but from giving...
most of all, Christmas is when we remember Christ's gift... :)

A Tale of Two Christmases by Jim Smith
It is the worst of times. It is the best of times.The Christmas you have depends upon you.May you be blessed to follow the Light and choose the right.

A Christmas Poem
C is for Credit Cards that make buying a breeze.
H is for your Headache when your cards are seized.
R is for Remembering everyone on your list.
I is for feeling Insulted when your gifts are dissed.
S is for feeling Stressed when you're on the fly.
T is for the Truckloads of presents that you buy.
M is for your Massive debt that soars into the sky.
A is for the Awful feeling that you've gone astray.
S is for your Sorrow and the tears you'll shed today.

The True Christmas Poem
C is for the Christ child lying in a manager.
H is for the Holy One who saved us all from danger.
R is to Remember Him who died that we may live.
I is to Inspire us that we may always give.
S is for joyful Songs and sacred hymns that praise.
T is to Thank the Lord for showing us the way.
M is for the Miracles that bless us each day.
A is for the Almighty who always puts us first.
S is for the Shepherd who guides us on earth.

christmas is less den 24 hours away... ;) 

it's christmas eve :) 

Yahoo! it's Christmas :) 

a doggy christmas 

christmas with friendster 

more christmas on google 

christmas on google 

christmas all around the web 

almost there

almost there... just a little bit more... a little bit.. a little bit...
Yes!! That's right, it's just a little bit more to CHRISTMAS!!
that wonderful time of the year :)
about 63 hours left till Santa comes knocking :P
and about 50 hours left till summative 2.. n den after dat... Yay!! off to Christmas!! :)

*studies have shown that around the world, people fall sick less and suffer less stress during Christmas... it's true!, i've studied it myself... it happens to ppl like me:P

christmas look

hehe...i know i'm supposed to be studying... but it's CHRISTMAS!!
so i decided to be lazy n spend time doing some "not so important stuff" ;P
like THIS!!

need...want?

Hebrews 3:13
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery.
But today is a gift... maybe that's why it's called the Present."

How are needs different from wants? Aren't needs the same as wants but for the fact that needs bear greater consequences for not being accomplished as compared to wants?
I've been wondering about needs and wants lately for some reason or other.
I think it began while i was working in Bee's, n i often wondered what would the consequences be if i missed a certain a program in church.
I'm beginning to believe that there're actually no such things as needs... anything can be forgone so long as you are willing to face the consequences.As such, i don't think that going through life there isn't really anything you NEED to do.
"Don't wanna eat? then go hungry-loh..."
"Still don't wanna eat? then sooner or later u get sick or maybe in the end... death. Which taken in perspective.. is just another consequence of life..."

I think it's more meaningful to go through life driven not by needs, but by wants.Wouldn't it be better if we did what we do not because we didn't want to face the consequences of not doing it, but because there's a desire to do it.
like...wanting study not because we'll fail exams, but because by doing so we please our parents and God(uhh, i still find it hard to believe its possible to like studying just for studying's sake)...
or like... wanting to meet up with friends not because they'll be hurt if you don't go, but because you want to see them...
or like... wanting to go for meetings(boring..-_-) not just to make decisions n stuff liddat, but because u get to see God at work in ppl's lives...
or like... wanting to go to heaven not because we don't want to go to hell... but because we want to see God's face.

Carpe Deim, Seize the Day. Find something to aim for today, tomorow and the future. Not because you have to, but because you want to.

you've been viewed

it's kinda wierd in a nice way...
yesterday i was studying in the library(aih...-_-) n suddenly i felt like drinking water...
suddenly... without any warning...a terrible urge to consume some form of liquid came over me... and i...
*ok-lah, the above few sentences are quite crappy...
anyway, i was feeling thirsty. so i went up to get a drink... IMU library is designed in such a way dat when u climb up the escalator in the library to go out(non-moving escalator!? @_@) u are able to look at wat ppl r doing in the library com lab... n i saw Thomas :)...and i saw Thomas... Thomas was in the com lab... and Thomas was using the computer... and Thomas was...
*uhh... today really crappy-lah... something's quite wrong with me...
so, actually Thomas was viewing my site while i was passing by... for some strange reason, suddenly like got pressure... cos' i realized i haven't updated... n also suddenly like quite happy... cos' got someone viewing my site... wahh...

on the other hand, Thomas asked me wat 8tv n ntv7 means... hmm...n i realized dat not many ppl will know wat the title of dis site refers to... uhh, i'll probably put up a column sometime soon explaining it...

on yet another hand(3 hands alredi),.. Summative Results are FINALLY out... in an hour's time... trying not to think abt it... more den 20% failed...

superman

i can't believe i haven't posted this song yet... it's 1 of my best liked songs...
wait... why am i in the first place posting all my favorite songs??
uhh... hmm... anyway, i think it's a bad habit i picked up from mei...
but hey, nice songs are meant to be shared :)

Superman- Five for Fighting
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me
I'm more than a bird...I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It's not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd...but don't be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won't you conceed
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me

Up, up and away...away from me
Well, it's all right...You can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy...or anything...

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
It's not easy to be me...

depression?

hehe... uhh, daniel mentioned dat i sound depressed... ehh, maybe a little over the past weeks,
but not now :)
let's see... stuff dat should be getting me down: taking care of grandpa, exams on X'mas eve, not being able to go youth camp, still single ;P... ehheh, no, not depressed now..
because CHRISTMAS is coming!! :)
nmmm... n also bcos'... mainly bcos' i've found answers to questions i've been asking myself like... why is spagetthi so hard to spell... spageti, sppaghetti, spagghatei?? or, is it possible to get thru christmas without bursting my pockets... uhh, no-lah... more of relationship questions...
but it's good now :)... very good in fact :) good :) in fact actually i think its good because i didn't go youth camp... no, not becos they say it wasn't that fun... but becos i had time to think stuff thru...

no... not depressed... at least maybe not till results come out :P
read: HAPPY!!... gee, i sound demented now...

christmas soon :):)

christmas is coming soon... very soon :)... doing my christmas shopping tomoro... sort of-lah...
i'm also thinking of changing template to reflect the current holiday season... if i find the time-lah...
haih... why does Summative have to be one Christmas Eve...
Christmas is always my favorite time of the year, cos' everyone has no excuse to be unhappy :)... even your mother doesn't nag as much on christmas day;)...
last nite i googled christmas n found some interesting sites...
turns out dat there's a www.christmas.com , www.merry-christmas.com , heheh, the wierd things ppl come up wif... Christmas, the season to warm your heart :)

16 days and counting :)

choice

i was just thinking over stuff after doing devotion this morning... and something i learned during my time in Bee's came to me, which i hadn't remember till now...
No one can force you to do something you don't want to...
So i asked myself, if i had a choice would i want 2 change everything i'm going thru now... No, because i realized through it all God had been there carrying through. No, because it is through trials that faith is strengthened. No, because.. because i choose the life i'm living now... because i chose to take up medicine knowing full well the costs it would cost me, because i choose to make the friends i have now.. whether for better or for worse... Because I Choose To.

we all have but 24 hours to use in a day... Carpe Deim, Seize the Day; Know what you want, See it and Make it happen. In what little or much time we have, how useful or meaningful we make it is up to us.

restart

it's been quite a while since i last blogged isn't it?
this week everyone's off to youth camp... so staying in sri petaling is kinda lonely, i'm almost imagine this is what being "left behind" after the rapture is like... hehe, definitely not nice :
anyway, i'm back blogging...
i can't say i don't sort of miss the guys who're in PD now... daniel, jinqfeei, mok, joyce... my sister.. the house is really quiet... and every now n den i keep thinking of all the fun they're having in PD...
but on the other hand...i can't say that being "left behind" in s/p is a totally bad thing...
in fact it could be the best thing that's happened to me this year...
from Ps. Bernard's sharing last saturday, i've realized i made my friends the centre of my world... not exactly a bad thing in itself, but when u consider that when i begin to place friendship above God, now that's bad... a bit like an unhealthy addiction...
but i've realized now... that above all else, God must come first... friends, relationships...
it's also comforting at times, cos' when u've got a friend that doesn't treat you that nicely, and u realized that the most important person in your life, God.. will always be the best friend you could ever have...
it also helps bring things into perspective cos' i realized i've started to focus to closely to the closest people around me that i start to lose focus my other friends...

hehe, like a bit serious rite? ;P... sommor first blog after so many weeks...

on a lighter note, last week i had ice-cream... something i haven't had in a really, really, really LONG time... doctor says ice cream is good for the brain :)

pause

sorry for the irregular postings of late.. but recent circumstances have made it difficult for me to blog or go online regularly...
among others, are that i have to take care of grandfather, i'm sick, i'm not on holiday... haih... all sucky stuff :(... can't wait to get throught this "valley of darkness"...
i'll probably should be able to be back blogging regularly in about two weeks or so... or worse come to worse in january... :)

sick

i'm calling in sick today...i think i slept like almost 12 hours last nite...
at least no fever... but the sore throat really sucks...
i'm thinking i either got it from VBS last week, or from my last hospital visit...
hopefully this sore throat clears up by tomorrow...
i can't stand sore throat.. it makes your throat, uhh... sore...

Good rain

it rained today...
the past few weeks have been quite trying...
first i had my accident, then my dad had his about 3 weeks ago...
last monday my grandfather(father's side) had a fall and fractured the head of his left femur...
it rained when i had my accident... it rained when my dad had his accident and the day after that when we were trying to collect his stuff all over klang...
rain hasn't been good for the past few weeks... until today...
the first two times i visited my grandfather, i couldn't explain it... but it really hurt to see him lying helpless on the bed... all of a sudden i felt really tired, and i really wished i had someone to just call up to tell everything... how difficult it is having to put on a face and pretend like nothing is going wrong... having to be smiling all the time...
today i visited my grandfather... and it rained..
hehe, my grandfather walked today... i'm really happy now :)
and it rained... :>

readers

ok-lah, this may seem wierd to u, but when i first started this blog, i never actually thought of dat problem bcos' i started off with the assumption that nobody would regularly read my blog... except maybe mei n william... so, hehe, this is is actually quite a pleasant surprise to have at least 3 regular readers :)
thanks for reading regularly, although my life isn't exactly fun and interesting... thinking about that, then i'm really wondering what keeps u guys still reading??
but thanks :)

holiday over

hmm... this week is gonna be busy n wierd...
i'll be rushing back n forth from church to IMU because i'll be helping out in the morning n den after dat got classes...
i think God is sort of transitioning me out of church life in Canaan... cos' VBS is something like a "fixture" in my life for the past 10 years... same like christmas n other stuff... but i realize dat when i start Internship n practicing i won't be enjoying the same holidays n all that... so i'll probably won't be able to help out in VBS n enjoy Christmas the same way i used to soon...

i feel like i haven't posted for a very long time aldy... but yet, the last post was last wednesday... wait.. that was 4 days ago... okay, it's long..

holiday

i'm actually on holiday this one whole week for Raya break...
I have to admit... i'm really wasting my time... let's see: I've played computer, gone online, gone cybercafe, watched movie, have lunch(uhh... lunch as in, outside wif frens)... the only thing yet to do is study... haih, just can't get down to doing serious stuff...
on the other hand, yesterday i was in MidV, taking my mum and sister to see the Body Adventure thingy... dat wasn't the main thing for me... after dat we went MPH... i realized i haven't been reading books in quite a while... it's been a REALLY, REALLY long time since i read anything...i can't even find my "Thing's Fall Apart" anymore... hehe, i found a few books dat look interesting... there's this book about Alexander the Great-"Conqueror"... i also scanned through "Dreamer"-about Martin Luther King Jr... it would be really nice to get a book to read, and reread and reread... especially when it's raining :)
oh yeah, i found Chinua Achebe in MPH too... heheh, although i read a lot of times, everytime i reread Thing's Fall Apart i still love it...

Petronas Ads

i like petronas Ads... especially the Hari Raya, CNY n Deepavali ads..they always seem to be about kampung frens finding each other again and umm.. yeah, perpaduan.. dat's the word...
the newest one is where an indian guy get's off to a bad start with his new malay neighbours, but finds out that the husband is really an old friend who used to help him... n den in a show of manliness, they hug each other... :P

uhh, dono y-lah.. i like perpaduan ads... give u a warm feeling inside :)

for the first time

i spent quite some time looking for this song, which i all the time had thought was a jim brickman song, but wasn't...and i have absolutely no idea who's kenny loggins.i feel a bit ungrateful..enjoying ppl's song but dono who sing it :P

For The First Time- Kenny Loggins

Are those your eyes, is that your smile
I've been lookin at you forever
But I never saw you before
Are these your hands holdin' mine
Now I wonder how I could've been so blind

Chorus:
For the first time I am looking in your eyes
For the first time I'm seein' who you are
I can't believe how much I see
When you're lookin back at me
Now I understand what love is.......
Love is.....for the first time.....

Can this be real, can this be true
Am I the person I was this morning
And are you the same you
It's all so strange how can it be
All along this love was right in front of me

(Chorus)

Such a long time ago
I had given up on findin' this emotion....ever again
But you're here with me now
Yes I've found you somehow
And I've never been so sure

And for the first time I am looking in your eyes
For the first time I'm seein' who you are
Can't believe how much I see
When you're lookin back at me
Now I understand what love is...
Love is...for the first time...

nice song :)

incredible!!

yesterday was Deepavali, so this naturally led to HOLIDAY!!
So me, andrew and hai liang went out togeder... it was really umm, "fruitful":P
let's see, leave house at 9.45... reach Vista at 10. hai liang not yet wake up so we had to wait... and wait... and wait... and wait... until about 10.45 den only he finish bathing and washing clothes..huiyoh, too much-lah...
anyway, left for breakfast all in all only at about 12 we really started looking for stuff to do...
well, when guys go out there isn't really dat much to do... so we watched Incredibles... it's really been a long time since i've watched a really, really good cartoon feature... really too long... but at least this year the movies aren't too bad... there was Spidey 2, Troy and now Incredibles.
anyway, its the stuff after which was a really "useful"... played CC until 6.30.. uhh, means about 2 half hours...
so, we gathered 2 lessons from our outing:
1. when guys go out we spend MUCH MUCH less den girls...
2. hehe, it would appear that studying medicine isn't stressful at all...
i may yet live to regret that 2nd statement, but as it stands now... yeah, like dat-lah :P

doctor

i learned something today...
okay, actually i learned alot, but that's not the point...
ok, i'm rambling...
i learned what the title Doctor means... it doesn't mean healer, it doesn't mean helper, doesn't mean physician or anything u normally would associate with doctors and physicians and the health care service...
Doctor means "to teach"... i found this really umm... meaningful, cos' before going to IMU, i was actually considering going into teaching... so i was deliberating between teaching and becoming a doctor... and i actually more or less thought that teaching was what i was meant to do, until of course local U and IMU results came back and i had to do some reconsideration before finally choosing wat to do...
well, strange... but interesting...i hope to see how this turns out 5 years down the road...

occupied

turns out that this week i may not be as relaxed as i thot i would be...
for the uninformed, i'm studying behavioural sciences for 2 weeks, this and the next after Raya week.
Although not much to study, in fact practically nth 2 study... but a lot of practicals... which means most of my afternoons are taken up...hmm... meaning dat VBS week i really won't be able to even set foot in church, n will be coming back "late" most days...

still, it's not all doom and gloom... got holidays coming up at least :)
and... Chelsea are on top in the Premier League; not that i'm a Chelsea fan, but it's nice to have somebody other then Ars and MU on top...
it would be even better if Bolton strung up a 10 match winning streak to go top :P

i'm not blogging

i'm not blogging... this is not a blog... this is not a blog...
ok-lah...uhh, update a bit abt ppl around me... i'm not THAT self centred.. :P
uhh, mei n e1(both final year students) are stressing out over assignments n exams.
yalah, they both need alot of ntv7... but den after ntv7 oso still so stress :|... i'm thinking wat to do for them... besides pray-lah, dat's a given...

but den on the other hand this week got Thursday holiday, n oso nex week got Raya break for one week.. so, happilah :)... n got Incredibles coming out oso :)
so, got some stuff to look fwd to

hmm...

uhh, ok-lah... these past few weeks i haven't been "faithfully" updating my blog... i'm actually quite surprised that got ppl actually read regularly enuff to complain i don't update enuff :)... it's a surprise, but a pleasant surprise... kinda the feeling u get when, uhh...u wake up in the morning and it's raining... or when you're driving down the road and it's raining, and u roll down the window and suddenly sri petaling is transformed into Cameron Highlands... or when you're just about to go to sleep and it starts raining lightly :)... ok-lah, abit much about rain...

i'm playing too much computer again... i admit my sin, but then nth to do-lah... study, oso study finish... ok-lah, of course more can be done, but then i'm not a nerd(contrary to popular opinion)...aiyoh, it's actually a super ironic situation, cos' the only other thing to do is finish Sunday School reading assignments... so my choices are between reading "How to Read the Bible for All it's Worth" and playing Diablo... uhh, Bible or Diablo?
more often den not i'm playing.. :|
i can't say playing computer is evil, but den... haih, for me once something you do starts controlling you instead of the other way round, den its bcoming wrong... but den i'm only at act II :( it's actually a very straight fwd choice.. do what u want-lah... bt den wat i would really want is to play Diablo AND to play it openly AND to study appropriately enuff... so actually it would be good if i could study n control play Diablo a little bit... why am i talking about this... i'm sure nobody wants to hear about the problems i have playing Diablo... i wouldn't be interested either.. ;)

relief

this so sucks... i'm doing this for the 3rd time... dowan to do alredi...

okay... this is pretty wierd... the "failed" posting i made before this wan... came out after this wan... anyway... it's above... that's the original wan... the first wan i thot failed... won't be surprised if suddenly the 2nd wan oso jump out of nowhere...

relief

hehe, today has been one of the more fun n relieving days since...
dunno when-lah... seems like an eternity...
anyways... today while waiting 4 CF after prayer meet i learned how to dance...
no really, dance.. as in move your hands and legs following a rhythm. i found it's quite fun actually:) and also quite addictive:P i found myself dancing in the small cubicle i call my toilet dis evening...
Relieving? why was today relieving... uhh, no.. not because i went to toilet alot, but bcos' i was finally able to get a load off my chest...
uhh, wat load?.. heheh, stay tuned to find out wat load it is... :P
next post only-lah...

long weekend

the past weekend was really long...
not particularly bcos' i don't have class on friday, but because i had never been so busy over the weekend, busy driving around dat is...
over the past weekend i've driven to klang and back so many times i think i could have gone round the world twice.. okay, dat's an exaggeration... wah, but really-ah... up and down the kesas highway is extremely boring.. thank goodness never fall asleep or anything liddat. :)

btw, thanks for all the sms's n prayers... special thanks to magdalene who kept on msging me after she read my prev. post... it's hard to believe she's not even in secondary school :)
good news... my mum says my dad's coming home tomoro... ;>