half way

ok.. half way through...

i think i still can make it...

don't lose confidence...

don't lose focus now...

the exam is only now starting...

start game

Starting game in 5

4..

3..

2..

NO leaver please..

1..

heh...

started game yesterday with MEQ...

this opponent is super pro... gyne took first blood while everyone was still busy farming on medicine... the paeds took a triple, TRIple, TRIPLE kill!!!....The Scourge is Owning!!!

so far.. its 50-50 i think with some pity from the examiners i hope i can pass MEQ... tomoro OSPE is about mid-game when all the ITEMS will start coming out... hopefully the opponents items are not too pro... then there will be about almost a week before the end-game...

in that time we HAVE to farm out OUR items for the last push so that the SENTINEL can be victorious and we don't have to be leavers...

all the best... 

glhf...

don't leave... in this game literally... 

leavers are noob...

hope we ALL can make it through...

remake

remake, remake...

its not too late to remake...

stop dreaming.. wake up and start preparing...

9 more days...

still can make it.. don't regret later

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed

lost

lost and sien

Happy Chinese New Year

HAppy ChinesE neW Year!!

don't think so much... play hard now, study hard after this :)

the hero

unexpectedly he came..

flying in through the window uninvited...

all in the house was quiet... busy studying (or trying to)

and then... he ATTACKED!!!

quick reflexes saved me... enabling me to utilise

the DAGON!!

and the BURIZA!!

to obtain victory!!!

here lies the body of another fallen hero...

heh... just bored from studying... or trying to... lol

quiet at home

its been a lonely quiet couple of days at home since monday...

i've been leaving before my housemates are awake...

and when i'm back hl's alredi hidden in his room... 

feng ko is sleeping already... he's quite gg'd past few days due to some overwhelming septicemia i think... saw him briefly in school today...

oh ya... and there's jac... yeah... don't normally see her anyway.. lol

aih... wonder if this is bcos' of the exam season...

trying to keep an upbeat mood...

think i'm failing miserably...

i can't think of something to look forward to tmr...

look out, look ahead

today datuk huat mentioned during lunch that normal ppl look forward to the months of december, january and february... haha.. not us... those 3 months have been nightmare months for all of us since we started med school... always the Exam Finals months...

i guess its hard to keep on going strong when ur failings loom large in your face, 

and hope seems like the clouds far above that are out of reach...

but i suppose if we keep looking at the problem, the problem seems to grow bigger (kinda like how you can see the bacteria thru the microscope by looking longer... lol)

to break the cycle of exams and stress, i suppose maybe the only way is to look away...

look ahead to the good things in store after that... 

look out of the troubles we have now to the good things that have and are happening to us...

it's the best of times, it's the worst of times...

ironically it is during the best of our time.. when we're on holiday or in sem8... that we drift away from each other because we're so busy having fun...

and ironically it is during the worst of times...

during our exams... that we cling closer to each other and find strength in our friendship with each other because we need each other so much more...

try again

had been suffering from an acute bout of loss of confidence these past few days due to a Dato' comment...

coupled with late nights and early mornings and no afternoon naps...

add on a friendly patient that i had been talking to, who was supposed to go home who ended up fainting and delirious last night...

its been a tough couple of days...

ahh... its wednesday going on thursday...

exam stress is setting in...

and confidence is dropping low...

but well, 

i suppose if you want strength, God'll put you in a position of weakness so He can support you

2009

first day of 2009!!

yay!! another year gone by...

a new year to look forward to...

in case you didn't know... I'm sure u didn't...

2009 has been desginated (according to wikipedia)

International Year of Astronomy

International Year of Natural Fibres

International Year of Reconciliation

the coming year is going to be full of beginnings and endings...

ending seremban... beginning batu pahat...

and later... ending batu pahat... beginning work as a DOCTOR!! (hopefully)

ahh... which brings me back to studies =_=

a bit free

i'm actually quite free these few days before christmas...

i just spent about 15 minutes on je's blog thinking what STD baby means.. lol

and i'm home from the library after dinner..

i guess actually i AM quite free... just that there is this voice telling me to study while i still can before i run out of time when sem9 exams come... aihh...

otherwise... i've stopped using IE recently... i'm now using google Chrome :)

not for anything... just that couple of days ago there was a news report i came across on yahoo!

http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/null/111811

concerning some Major security flaws in IE... well... i was looking for something new to try out anyway... so i popped by google and downloaded Chrome... it looks quite good so far.. very minimalist... makes my screen look bigger than normal.. and yeah.. kinda fits vista... lol

christmas

its christmas soon... haven't been able to really get in the "christmas" mood bcos of books...

but i'll be home for christmas...

and that makes everything ok (=

bored

studying.. bored...

hoping to finish ENT today... then quickly get the other 2 more minor postings done with...

but tmr is a full day =_=... and friday got study group T_T

but otherwise today was a fun day... had a good futsal with an owning team ^^ but i discovered my shoes are broken...

they look like they're gonna last me another 1 more mon

th only... which is actually just nice... cos' i don't know how much futsal i'm gonna be playing in the heat of e

xam prep and over in batu pahat...

(tORn_by_frfefarfearz)

hmm.. this post... is like one of those "blonde"

 posts i dislike reading... where the "blonde" goes on about how the day went, how he/her felt, what they ate, how long they waited at the bus stop...

and they usually end with...

a cute picture...

_______by_BenoitPaille

haha... no, that's not cute... and that's not me... lol

pictures sourced from deviantArt.com the site for all cool pics...

ok, i wasted enough time... 

back to foreign bodies in the ENT..

rainy

its been a rainy gloomy couple of days...
felt like blogging... but the past few days hav been rather uneventful...
just... studyingzzz....

rain is normally nice... but too much is no good...
my clothes are still damp =_=

topsy turvy

its been an upside down kinda 2 days...
still not quite used to waking up so late in radio/anaes... which has got to be the most lethargic posting i've ever been in...
like dato' joked in gynae... the radiologist looks like she's been exposed to too much radiation and the anaesthetist looks like he's been anaesthetised... they're both SOOOOOO slow... soft... selamba... slow to respond... slow to hear...
but... on the other hand... this is the only 4 weeks (3 since i can't quite count christmas week in) i'll have to get my sem8 postings ready for EOS... so hopefully i don't drift off and find myself 4 weeks later suddenly having done nothing...

on other things...
a good friend helped me to realize during an episode of low mood...
that sometimes the people that we want to pay attention to us
:- take us for granted, don't appreciate us and pay us no attention

but while there are actually people that DO pay attention to us, and actually care for us... but we don't realize it because we're looking in the wrong direction at the people who don't care for us... so we think that nobody cares for us while there are actually many who do...

yeah.. thanks for the reminder friend :)

coming home

yeah... its ending...
faster than i thought it would... 4 weeks is really a short time...
my last week of gyne... exams on tuesday and wednesday...
will be home on friday... after 3 weekends not going home...

heh... even exams can't get me down..

pictures

last friday after a hard days work... we chilled out by playing pool...
it's pretty obvious we got the style, but none of the substance... lol..
but the above pic is our resident Club 7 Pro.. Rikimaru/Tjunoosis




















This... looks quite pro rite... lol... the guy next to her is the "si fu"... who is err... supposed to be better than her... lolz...

and this... is a ball..

if you look closely you can observe that it has been "blest" with some oral secretions so that it can go in to the hole...

yeah.. these pics are from my new phone.. in case u don't know i have one.. lol...

my hand is quite shaky... hence some of the pics not so nice... but still trying... haha..

yeah... i guess this post is more cheery than the past few... lol :)

gynae

posting from home...
won't be seeing this place for a while cos next week...
gonna start gynae for 1 month...
its going to be a long 1 month...
i hope i can make it to the end of the month without too much "injury", heh...
which means i'll be in seremban till about december...

well.. at least i'll be able to celebrate christmas...

hmm... EOS coming near... i can feel the stress already... especially with the past 2 EOPs being so sucky...

an ideal world

i'd just finished watching this video from daniel's blog...
heh.. yeah, it really does make one feel all warm and fuzzy remembering "good old days"
but it was the sentences at the end regarding what was happening at that time that really caught my heart...

i sometimes do wish things didn't have to change...
that we could have keep on staying the same... having fun and not having to move on to "newer" and "better" things...
but life isn't like that i suppose... and it does kinda sux sometimes...

in an ideal world...

ju liang would be healed and still be with us right now, preparing for vbs...
i wouldn't have to keep on coming back to seremban and what not because of studies...
jane wouldn't have to be in belgium...
clifford and clement wouldn't have to be in australia...
noel would come to church every sunday...
all those canaan people doing their studies overseas would be able to do it in malaysia...
every friday and saturday night would be set aside for dakei...
every sunday afternoon everyone would be able to have lunch together and cendol after that without any worries...
work wouldn't suck...
all the people and friends we meet wouldn't be segregated into church, work, school friends and what not... everybody would know everybody and we'd all be friends...
people wouldn't get sick and die...
we would have fun preparing for church events yet not have to bother being busy at work or trying to get leave...
people wouldn't fail exams and get left behind...
everyone would keep in touch with everybody all the time...
people wouldn't leave to look for "better" churches to go to...

but i suppose... that's life...
it's imperfect... and we struggle against the things we don't like in our life...
i suppose.. it all happens for a reason...
so that when we are done struggling against the night... and we finally lay our heads down to rest...
the morning that comes seems so much better than what we've been struggling against...
so that heaven will really seem like heaven in comparison with this imperfect world we live in...

a place where...
we get to see again those people we miss so dearly now that have gone on before us...
we meet once again with people who are separated from us by distance or circumstance...
we no longer have to struggle with time, and work, and suffering..
staples of this life that we never get used to...
because i believe these imperfections were not supposed to be there in the first place....
and that there IS a place where these things will cease to be...

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

mail :)

i love getting snail mail...
so it was a really pleasant surprise when i got back last weekend to find a letter waiting for me...
In it were these:...































































very,... veryy,... nice :)...
now i know... autumn maple leaves really do exist!! :)
i'd actually forgotten all about the request... hahaha...
thanks vickie (=

back

heh... i'm back...
yeah... i know its been a while...
but.. .haha... i don't usually update when i'm on holiday...
hehe... blogging is kinda a study/work thing... so when i'm on holiday... blogging takes a break too...
or maybe i'm just too lazy.. .hehe...

but yeah... back... and starting medicine tomorrow...

today... and tomorrow

today... i had a triple layer peanut butter sandwich...
it was nice...
i topped it off with licking the bottom of my peanut butter jar...
yum...

its cos' i have exams tomorrow... i'm not the only one la...
hl, tekjee and a couple of others are also gonna have clinicals tomorrow...
we're different from the rest cos' we're gonna be sitting to clinicals AND written exam tmr...
so it feels like everyone else is starting to enjoy themselves cos' they're clinicals are over whilst ours aren't... its probably just me la... but having exams on the last day is sien cos' of that...

so i'm quite looking forward to the end of this sien feeling tmr...
no quite so much because of the end of paeds.. this time paeds was quite fun i think... the kids were more fun to play with... but just... cos' its the end of another rotation...

in addition tmr's the last day of uni.. we're out for a week for raya :)

in addition... gonna get to turn in my WAX for my WKB again...

in addition... gonna get to go home for a week... holiday again... did i mention? :P
which i'm gonna spend watching GODfather I,II and III... the Hulk... and whatever else i can get my hands on...

yes.. looking forward to the end of tomorrow...

no time

when you're in

sem 1.. dono what's happening... can't study yet
sem2... not exam sem... dun study first
sem3.. daji first only study
sem4... holiday.. study what?
sem5... short daji only... one fast push then study...
sem6.. adjusting to seremban... can't study
sem7.. must study dy... but wait nearer exam onli intensive study
sem8.. holiday again..
sem9.. not time study.. die..
sem 10... dun wanna think bout it...

politics and medicine

there's been a rather amusing thread going on in m204's yahoo group.. it may be sensitive to most since its about race and racism in our country... but i found it rather amusing... heh... mostly cos' i skip the long mails and just read through to the end...

so i thought i'd add me 2 cents to the discussion... which i thought sounded rather intelligent... lol

heh... so much talk about politics and race...
oh well... i know for sure ganesh can't be a politician... he is anything but "politically correct"..

haha... i guess this is sth like med school maybe...hehe... wonder if you guys would agree...

any medical student can diagnose problems...
the heart got problem...
the brain got problem...
the lungs got problem..
everyone has their own different "diagnosis" of what's wrong with our country...
heh.. in fact i think politicians do good jobs of "diagnosing" problems (more often than not other ppls problems.. lol)

but i guess to be a doctor we need to have a plan of management...
and hopefully we all agree on the plan of management, which i think ganesh's last sentence rather quaintly addresses...

i quote: "we can't change politics (unless you become a politician lah.. which some of us will i think... except ganesh... lol)
it's too idealistic...
but we can change ourselves to become better citizens..."

cheers
zhiyong

p/s- it sux to be a final year med student... your brain nids to be that of a doc... but ur heart still wants to be med student... =_=

short changed

last saturday i came back to kl...
first thing to do was to have lunch with a bunch of guys...
so well... lunch lunch lunch... then after lunch have to pay bill...
so... nobody's has change... so i came out money first... total bill was 125... but yuans and gang came out 50 for their stuff... so i came out about 75... collect collect collect from the rest...
after came home onli realized that i onli got back 40 bucks..
short changed... literally.. =_=
and ironically brandom mentioned that this always happens...

and then well.. then actually after that supposed to do some bible study/discipleship thingy with the guys after lunch wan... and actually the only reason i came down to kl was to do this...
mana tau... things didn't work out cos' of ppl coming lates...
so that was like... i invest my saturday sunday time to come church...
and then my time got sort changed also... =_=

aih... too bads... i guess

5th year medical student

today is the first day of being a 5th and final year medical student...
i certainly don't feel like one...

the amount of work is almost depressing...

gonna need some chocolate or chips...

i'm awake

i'm awake...
ready to go...
final year of medicine is going down in a flash...

final preparations to make...
HAVE FUN for the last 3 days!!
its not gonna be an easy journey from here out...

one last post

i'd been wanting to post this for some time now, but i suppose i've been distracted the last couple of days...
but anyway... just one last post on juliang

i suppose it'll take some getting used to, to stop praying for juliang..
we've been praying for him for almost 3 years..
i suppose at first it did seem like our prayers had gone to waste..
but looking back, i think instead of wondering why God did not heal him absolutely... i suppose we could look at it as God granting us a stay of 2 years before taking juliang home..
in this 2 years i guess we've seen that God really does answer prayers... and that miracles do happen...
and i guess, what would mean more to us would be that God granted us 2 years to say goodbye...

maybe the thing that bothered me the most was why God would seem to answer our prayers but at the last minute, "pull back".. why grant the "minor miracle" of his heartbeat picking up...
why grant the bone marrow donor when in the end everything went to "waste"...
i already found it hard to believe in miracles that somoene can survive after septicemia and multiple organ failure... and these last "flickers of life" seemed like cruel tricks to grab on to hope for a miracle only to let us down at the last moment...

i struggled with this for a while until i came to be satisfied with the understanding that all this was done not for juliang... but for us... so that we might continue to believe in miracles... so that we might be able to always see the light when all seems so dark...
and i think in the end that kinda sums up all that juliang went through...

not because juliang did something wrong... not to test his faith... not to "take us for a ride"
but so that we might believe...
that it IS possible that..."to live is Christ, and to die is gain"
so that we might live in the knowledge that our lives now are just a preparation for the greater and better chapter..

ending

today... it ended... i'm not sure what time, but i got the message at 12pm...
not quite sure how to feel...
i guess its still too sudden...

juliang

Jesus loves me this i know,
for the bible tells me so.
little ones to him belong,
they are weak but he is strong...

this post is for juliang.. who is in critical condition...
because we believe that He is still taking care of us even when things don't look good...

saturday

heh.. looks like my attempt to blog everyday wasn't so succesful...
oh well... i suppose i'm not a habitual blogger...

otherwise... today's saturday :) i haven't spent saturday in seremban in a while...
and yeah... i'll be away tmr at camp... heh, quite wish i could be there till wednesday... but well... exam's more important i guess... lol

hmm... this is still quite a lala post...
i think it'll be my last short post... which means that the next update should probably be taking quite a long while to come... lol

eksam

today exam...
did ok i guess... ok enuff to pass...
i noob-ly identified a wrong murmur...
but i guess i'm ok with it...
i need more clinical practice heh... well, at least i have a direction to aim for...
more clinical practice... yes... will get down to it...

tyred

so crazy pig tired today...
think its the cumulative effect of playing badminton on wed and futsal on thurs...
i wish i could go to sleep in seremban and just wake up in kl...
wondering if i should drive back...

today

i opened the bottle today... it said...
"today.. will be a completely, totally, utterly different day from yesterday."

heh...
its nice having the promise of today because the PRESENT is always a GIFT...

on the other hand... after i came back today
i realized the whole day as quite wasted, cos' it was spent attending a "seminar" on organ donation... which i quite slept thru...
oh well... at least i've gotten my 10 survey patients done dy :)

i feel like some kinda lala boys blogging like this about mundane stuff actually... =_+

quantity/quality

went to ward today... to practice examination...
tired but feeling accomplished...
did a good deed today: took cpei to pasar malam to try cheer her up...

if you've noticed, i'm blogging shorter but more frequently...
wonder if in a blog, quantity matters more over quality...

on other matters... i've just been buzzed by someone alerting me to a very interesting post on suchuen's blog... its long...

but... nice :)

accomplished

today woke up.. made a list of stuff to do..
1. call GP to arrange GP posting
2. relaod TnG
3. deposit Boo cheque
yeah... just now did all... didn't forget any... well done to myself :)

reflect

xinli suggested i do some reflecting on my b'day...
i thought that was quite a good idea... hadn't thought of b'days in that perspective before...
a day to reflect on the past.. and plan for the future...

the past one year... has been good i guess...
this same time last year i was stressing out over upcoming sem7 exams to be held in january...
heh, fast forward to now... i'm kinda stressing out over upcoming sem9 exams to be held in january again... but i hope to be able to be looking back without stressing over any more exams this same time next year... heh... i think that'd be a good idea to re-look this next year...

relationships haven't gotten anywhere... heh, i guess the past year has been spent thinking about choices to make... but i guess i realized in some weeks ago that if anything is gonna go anywhere, its gonna take more doing and less pondering...

spiritually i guess i am in a way moving forward... beginning to see a direction to head for... but i guess this is rather closely related to my relationships... its gonna take more doing and less pondering... otherwise, i'm really quite glad that discipleship stuff is gonna happen soon... and my so called spiritual struggles have found an answer i can be satisfied in...

looking forward... i guess there are mainly 3 goals in my life now...
i'm rather lousy and multi-focussing... i can only focus on one task at a time, but well i believe things happen together for a reason, and if God brought me so far... He'll bring me through...
Church: discipleship and trying to get the youth i come into contact in to find out where God fits in their life...
Relationships: i suppose i've been moving forward in a way... but heh... its still a long way ahead... so hopefully i have the patience to take things as they come...
Studies: i really want to be a good doctor... so i guess that means i have to study more... heh... well, don't quite see any other way around this...

well... hopefully one year from now at this same time i'll be able to look back and see dreams achieved and hopes attained...

but yeah... thanks to everyone for all their b'day wishes... and yeah... thanks to everyone whose been supporting me in studies... in church... and in relationships...
heh... i don't think i can say one area is more important than the other now... currently all 3 have a place in my heart and my head... they just come forward when i'm in different places and cicumstances.. but they're all just as important to me now...

glass wall

it feels like i'm behind a glass wall these past few days...
well... maybe its an improvement from a cement wall...
cos' at first i wasn't able to log in to msn at all...
so although i know there are ppl online... i can't see them and they can't see me...
and we can't talk...
then it became a glass wall.. lol
now i'm able to log in... so i can actually see the people online...
but the connexion's so bad they can't see me... and i can't msg them most of the time...
so i can see them and maybe they can see me... i dono... but we can't communicate...
hmm... never thought i needed msn that badly...

a day in my life

today's a good day :)
although i went to sleep the previous night with a growling stomach because i couldn't find a midnight snack... woke up feeling fresh... hadn't had that in a while^^
had psychiatric community visit this morning... which ended up back in IMU because we lost the hospital van after the 1st house because we were all too busy talking in the car... lol... quite embarassing i think... don't think anyone's ever done that before... but we didn't think it was much of a deal anyway... cos' everyone told us it was a waste of time to go and we wanted to go back to the ward to clerk the case for tomorrow's case presentation...

so anyways... after the brief highway adventure... we ended up clerking a nice old man and his son in law...
so well... that was done for the day... so after lunch i headed back and accomplished quite a few things... photostated some papers... bought my midnight snacks... and had a hair cut at YOKA SALUN :)... hadn't had an indian barber hair cut in a while, so it was nice...
Uncle Frankie cut my hair and besides the hair cut, and some small talk... there was also some "neck cracking" which you don't get in any unisex saloon... :)

well this was followed by badminton and futsal... til.. now... haven't been so tired in a while... quite an eventful and productive day i'd say...
i think i can finish my selective report tonite... hopefully... lol

one more time

starting sem 8 again tomoro...
one more time...

tired... physically and mentally...
the week hasn't begun and i already want it to end...

=_=

pernolasity stet

i realized one way to keep the posts moving on is to do surveys...
heh... took this off fengko's blog
it looks like i literally copied the whole thing...
but it really is my own...

zhiyong,
Your personality is Phlegmatic Melancholy

Melancholy Strength:3 Weakness:8 28%
Phlegmatic Strength:16 Weakness:12 70%
Sanguine Strength:1 Weakness:0 3%
Choleric Strength:0 Weakness:0 0%

yeah... for definitions check out fengko's blog...

teg melayu

haih... semalam saya telah pulang ke seremban untuk sebentar sahaja tetapi rakan saya kyw terlalu gembira untuk bertemu saya... manalah saya tahu kenapa...=_=
haha... tambahan pula saya mendapat tahu bahawa saya telah mendapat "kerja rumah" ini... semoga orang yang membacanya akan berpuas hati...

7 fakta tentang saya
BM saya sebenarnya sangat teruk
Saya tidak mendapat A1 untuk BM
Semasa lebih muda saya makan apa pun tak gemuk, tetapi sekarang perut sudah mula buncit
Saya tidak menyukai "Tingkap Vista"
Saya teringin menyelam skuba di pulau sipadan
Saya juga seorang yang pendiam
Beberapa fakta tentang diri saya di sini adalah ditulis berpandukan apa yang tercatit di blog rakan saya fengyblogstoo.blogspot.com

7 perkara yang menakutkan saya
ular
cicak yang sangat besar
doktor yang garang
bertemu dengan orang yang berkuasa misalnya dato kanda
menonton filem yang penuh keganasan
kehilangan ibu bapa
kemalangan jalan raya

7 lagu buat sekarang
Tristram- Blizzard Diablo Soundtrack (lagu ini best)
Your love is just a lie- Simple Plan
Saya's Fear- OST2 Blood+
Amazing Love- Vineyard
Say it to me- OST Once (Glen Hansard)
Way back into love (versi demo)- Hugh Grant dan Drew Barrymore (Music and Lyrics)
Hero's Come Back- Nobody Knows (Naruto OP)

7 perkara yang saya selalu sebut
walau...
ehh...
umm...
err...
so...
hi...
saya pelajar perubatan tahun ke-4, saya ingin...

7 perkara yang amat bernilai
Tuhan saya
Keluarga saya
Kawan-kawan saya di gereja
Kawan-kawan saya di IMU
Kawan-kawan saya yang tidak di IMU atau gereja misalnya mei, william dan lain lain
Koleksi botol botol saya
Komputer saya

7 pertama kali dalam hidup saya
Kali pertama ber-blog dalam bahasa melayu
Kali pertama pergi ke IJN
Kali pertama ponteng pergi ke IJN hari ini
Kali pertama ber-blog begitu banyak tentang diri saya
Kali pertama ber-blog tentang kali pertama
Kali pertama pulang dari seremban pada pukul 1 pagi
Kali pertama pergi dan pulang dari seremban dalam masa kurang sehari

7 orang bertuah yang ingin mencuba nasib mecabar melayu aku
KYW
feng ko
christina ng
tan jen ern
lim sau tjun
daniel MCH
err... siapa siapa lagi lah... saya tidak terfikir siapa lagi yang akan cukup boring untuk meneruskan ini...

Sekian sahaja. Kalau boleh saya ingin menamatkan tag ini dengan satu ucapan yang biasa dibuat oleh rakan rakan melayu saya, tetapi itu mungkin tidak sesuai kerana sesetengah orang akan berpendapat itu akan menyinggung perasaan orang lain. Sampai sini sahaja lah...
-_-

merdeka

don't know why i got around to watching them today..
but, i love petronas ads.. i think most malaysians would...
but i guess i especially love merdeka ads... i guess the idea that we could be one nation that does not regard race or colour really appeals to me...

here are a few that brought a tear to my eye and warmed my heart...

hm... and i can't remember how to post videos anymore... =_= comes of being too lazy i suppose...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSesjYw4KxU&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0P_BTvfJ4k&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezOSTYAhjZA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8zPNP3uLK0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05ILlMySCQE&feature=related

+_=

i might as well blog today... since i'm home early AGAIN...
and i don't have much else to do besides study...

well i suppose a few quick updates are in order...
my holidays are over finally... so i'm currently doing an attachment in IJN...
i had been hoping it to be a fruitful and busy few weeks before i start back seremban...
you know, so that i'd be "pumped up" to study... but the past 2 days haven't been promising...
i came back at 3 yesterday (and that after a 1 hour lunch-_-)... and today at 4... after spending time in the IJN library...
hmm... seems like the dato' i'm attached to is too busy to attend to me... and doesn't seem to want me following his clinic... so much for first impressions ~_~..

otherwise.. churchwise i seem to be pretty occupied... having bridge event on saturday, a wedding next saturday and an outing to sg congkak after that... oh well... it'll be back to seremban soon enough... i should "enjoy" myself as much as possible..

hmm... on the other hand... i thought that on the rare occasion that i'm travelling to kl on a regular basis... i thought it'd be cool that i go discover kl... its just that... being from kl... i'm not really sure what the attractions are... besides shopping of course... any suggestions?
i'm thinking of the aquarium in klcc.. but not really sure where to put the car if i do go there... i've heard repeated horror stories of the parking there...
oo... and i just visited the site... apparently if i can cough out 400 bucks.. i can dive with sharks O_O!!! heh... that'd be cool... although i have no idea where to cough out 400 bucks... lol... anyone wanna make donations?

hmm... what to do what to do..
i know i've really starved myself of entertainment options when i don't even want to play kongregate anymore... suggestions? good movies i can dl?

heh... back but not around

heh.. it's not really that ihaven't really been around... but the previous 3 weeks...
well.. i'm on holiday...
which kinda sums it up...
holiday=LAZY...
hrmm.... have studied la...
a bit...
really... a bit... a bit bit

back!! :)

i'm back after 1 week.. haha... 1 week elective is REALLY short...
but china is GREAT!!!
i really hope to be able to go back there again...

but i'm waiting for PICTURES from yeeling and siewteng...
so won't be blogging about it now...
but i'm back... and i'm happy i went :)

china

if you don't know alredi...

in 12 days time (wow, it's that fast)

i'll be leaving for CHINA!!!

officially its to teach ENGLISH...
unofficially, its to look good and get an excuse to have a 1 week elective and 3 week holiday...
but underneath the underneath... there's a secret secret mission...O_o

but i've actually never been to a foreign country before (besides SINGAPORE) which is half local... heh in fact i think Sabah and Sarawak are more "foreign" than singapore...
but ooo... partially excited, partially worried... i've heard that since China is a communist nation they don't take to foreigners that well...

on the other hand... i'll get to see the origins of CINA ppl... will they be more ah PEK or more LA LA than malaysian CINA? lol...

old school

heh..

i'm bringing back old school to seremban...

for a limited time only, 3 weeks to be exact...

i'll be driving WAX 1662 in seremban...

haha.. yeah, the old mitsubishi from phase 1 days before i came to seremban...

it's no longer red, but now gray...

and other than that... don't think there's any other difference... at least not that i can feel...

heh... and i still doesn't look like this...

again =_=

aih... i did it again...
strain my lateral ankle ligament...
although this time its better than the previous time...
it's on the LEFT leg now...
zzzz....

a few years back while running i mis-stepped and fell with my foot in the wrong position...
so what happened was i think i sprained all 3 lateral ankle ligaments in my right ankle causing massive swelling...
that was really bad...
couldn't play futsal for almost a few months...
ever since then i've had some sort of instability in my right ankle...

and now the same thing happens in my left ankle...
although involving only the front ligament...
well... hopes it heals soon...
the pain's bearable while playing actually... i guess adrenaline really does work...
but after that... like now... wah... every step is like...
SAKIT!!!!

hope it heals soon...

somethings money can't buy

aiya...
you know how is it when you've got something REALLY good to blog about...
only thing is...
its about somebody... and if they find out they might not be too happy bout it...
but its REALLY~~~~ funny...

but well... not good la...
suffice to say...


ktm ticket to PWTC: 3 bucks
2 minute taxi ride: 5 bucks
MATTA fair ticket purchases: 1000 bucks
girl's reaction upon getting hair wet and shoes soaked due to rain:
-cannot type lar- =_=
try imagine lah...



some things money can buy...
for the rest... there's life...

together dinner

its a nice thing to be able to eat together...
as a family..
as a group of frens...

i'm not talking about couple couple dinners...
i'm sure they're nice too although i wouldn't know...


i'm talking about the ones where you go to a restaurant and make so much noise that other ppl wish you would just leave...
the ones where you come with so many ppl that they need to bring out the biggest table for you, pull chairs from other tables...
the ones where you nid to go round asking other tables for chairs that they're not using...
the ones where everyone eats together :)... ok... maybe not eating at exactly the same time if everyone orders separately.. but... you know... "together"-laaa...


today was the first time we had a "together" dinner in about 2 weeks...
heh... although its not with the gang i normally eat with... i guess it'll have to do since these are the ppl here...


feels good :)


can't wait for everyone to come back... then we can all have dinner together :)

one week holiday

one week holiday is over...
heh... even before some ppl realize i'm on holiday i'm back to school...
the past week has been spent...
umm... actually it wasn't spent... it was more like... wasted...
wif a few moments of non-waste interspersed in between...
let's see...
saturday went back home... or was it friday?... heh, can't remember... but anyway... those few days weren't wasted... i did some stuff... err.. some stuff la... can't reli remember wat... but it wasn't wasted... cos' i hadn't switched on the computer yet... yeah, i think i finished yibing's health and nutrition book on saturday...
sunday... was spent in church... and night was when i switched on the computer... heh.. and then the hours flew by as i gradually gained points on kongregate.com.. haha.. obviously that went on for some days...

eventually some more interesting things happened... monday went ampang look out point wif christina,fengY and yeangWee...
erm... tuesday was BIG OPERATION day when i reinstalled vista to try solve video card problems... well it failed =_=... so i continued playing kongregate...
wednesday... kongregate...
thursday... kongregate... oh yeah, collected my specs... which was a waste of money... apparently my power is only 75/100... which is down from my previous broken specs.. my mum says the previous lens were too powerful for me thats why...
friday... is today... also kongregated... oh yeah... paid summons in MELAKA wif kexin :P
tmr... will try to NOT kongregate..
and sunday... well then i'll be back in s'ban... and that would have been one week of holidays gone by...

no wonder ppl say time flies...

it is finished

after endless hours of sleepless nights (a first for me, i've never initial or terminal insomnia)
after continuous worrying...
it is finished...
EOS7 is over... and everyone passed...
thank God... really thank God...
a great burden is off my shoulders...

Sing my soul...
of the Saviour's love..


Congrats to everyone :).... We MADE IT!!!
Happy Holidays :)

6:59 in the morning

its a sunday and its 6:59 in the morning...
its been a while since i've been up before the sun...
going to church today... haven't been in i think 3 weeks...
hmmm... almost a month...

thankfully... exams are drawing to an end...
one last lap more... 2 more days and this first "so-called-professional" exam will be done with...

tired...

Battle Cat!!!

Curiosity killed the battle cat:P... hahahahaha...

picture courtesy of FengY

happy? chinese new year

this comes a trifle bit late...
seeing as its the third day alredi..
but still... Happy?? Chinese New Year to all the CINA ppl.. :)

but yeah... if you've been surfing my co-IMU-ians blogs.... its been a depressing CNY...
exams on the 5th day of CNY...
but still... although hard to celebrate...
well... rest a bit b4 charging shud be ok kua...

WE'RE BROTHER'S FOREVER!!!

i don't normally blog about youtube...
but this is hilarious!!!



look for the dance remix and the kids remix which are hilarious as well...
hahahah


I AM YOUR BROTHER
YOUR BEST FRIEND FOREVER
SINGING THE SONGS, THE MUSICTHAT LiiiiiiiiIIIIIIKE.
We're BROTHERS TILL THE END OF TIME
TOGETHER OR NOT, YOUR ALWAYS IN MY HEART
YOUR HURT, YOUR FEELINGS,
IN YOU WILL REIGN NO MOOOOOORE.

he passed away

this post...
is in rememberence of Uncle Phua...
Uncle Phua is one of the many uncles from church...
he's retired, and he looks just like any of the other church uncles...
married with one great kid...
he passed away today after a battle with cancer...
its actually almost been a year i think... i suppose it's been pretty up and down...
from the time he was first discovered to have growths in the colon and liver, and then the first biopsy showed benign growths... and then a couple of months ago they re biopsied and discovered malignancies...
and then rapidly downhill..
its sad... because uncle phua is one of the friendliest uncles in church... always saying hi to everyone, close to his son, helping out anyway he can... encouraging ppl... even when he discovered his illness...
hmm... its actually been quite a bad weekend in spite of the recently passed exams...
first juliang getting the relapse and now uncle phua...


gotta keep praying...

the unspoken oath 2

for unspoken oath 1 ref to fengyblogstoo.blogspot.com
an incident happened which i shall not elaborate on...
lol... but never the less... even though things worked out in a less than ideal way, what's happened has happened...

ermm.... so well... imagine that there's a rabbit... and this rabbit is good friend with a porcupine...
and then the rabbit is also frens with a skunk... so well... one day one of the animals did something wrong and stupid... and then the other animal also retaliated... so the rabbit while trying to avoid injury to both its frens, get spray with stink on one side and kena cucuk on other side... so in the end... what happen is well... one of the animals thought the rabbit was against it, so the rabbit also became dislike by one of the animals...but well, actually i'm another fren of the rabbit (not skunk or porcupine)... but well, its just that the rabbit is trying actually to protect both the skunk and the porcupine from injuring each other... but well... the rabbit is so skinny so some quills also go past and some secretions also get past...
but well...
this is just so that the rabbit's sacrifice is known to those discerning ones la...

so well... to repeat an oft repeated line... to err is human, to forgive is divine...

the unspoken oath is...
blogging has its hazards... but dun build dividing walls over hastily thrown stones...

actually wanted to refer to a story from bible... but i think i'll do that another day... have to bathe now....

sorry if you don't understand...
i know the rabbit will...

*edit- DISCLAIMER- the story about skunks and rabbits and porcupines in no way resembles what actually happened... it's called an ANALOGY... so please don't pick on details...
focus on the rabbit...
it's about the rabbit...
rabbit is cute

coincidence

wah... i don't believe the sheer coincidencabilitiness of this...
today i went ward as usual...
at the usual time everyone goes to ward...
which ranges from between 8-830am...
well... maybe this is just for my posting only la... maybe other posting ppls go on time at 8...
so actually everyday... correct me if i'm wrong.. but i think most ppl enter the hospital between that time...
so... i'm also the same...
but well... not once, but twice... i've met dato' kandar on the short 5 minute walk to the hospital...
and well... 2nd time alredi he recognize me liao...
actually this is 3rd time for me liao, cos' there was once during PSYCHIATRY posting when i went ward to revise Obs and hopefully some sem6 stuff, cos' that day was "free" for obs...
well so roughly each time i meet DK this is roughly wat happens...
"you're late"
*silence*
"why are you late?"
*silence*
"what posting are you from?"
paeds/psych/ortho...
and then so far he has asked to see...
my group leader... and today was my head of dept.. hmm... haven't done anything about it...
although i feel VERY frustrated... cos' i'm not the ONLY one being "so-called late"... but apparently i'm the only one getting caught...
hmm...
but on the other hand... while i was bathing i thought that actually in a way, he's right la...
i mean... i AM supposed to be in the hospital at 8... regardless of whether other ppl come at that time or not...
oh well...
i suppose on a christian perspective...
i'm not supposed to be as good as other ppl... i'm just supposed to be, good.
or in other words... not just do what everyone thinks to be right... but to do what's right.


"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
Hebrews 12:5-6


For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.
Romans 13:3-4


heh.. i just realized... this is the first real update in a wihle...
been... busy...

update

heh.. this is an update...
yeah... that's just wat it is...
an update...
there's actually a rather interesting discussion going on in christina's blog kiwi-bird.blogspot.com
u can go check it out and contribute to let her know what you think about what's going on in her life...

*update- this post was edited bcos' the word that was previously used may not have been appropriate... wah stress... blogging so long also i din know this sort of thing can happen...

done

IMS done... research left...
and then study all the way till february...
wow... what fun i'm going to have...
L...
O...
L...
=_=

and then there was one

home alone...

everyone's gone back...

well... only one more day, then i have my 4 day holiday...

aku takut cicak

i'll admit... i'm terrified...

when i moved to seremban 3, i knew i'd have to put up with a lot of things...

so when the insects came... that was ok...

when the flying ants came in swarms... that was ok...

when the gonggoks kept on coming... still ok...

when the lizards came... i thought they'd help keep the insect population down.. so.. that was ok...

but today...

there was a GECKO!!! it wasn't just a small mini lizard... it was a whole gigantic GECKO... measuring almost half a metre... err.. ok, not so much... but at least 10-15cm long...

it was... HUGE!!!...AAAAAHHHHH!!!!

and it attack me when i was about to take my bathe...

scary...

now i'm same as yeangwee... scared of cicak...

i'm coming home early tmr to buy sulphur...

postpostpost

hmm... haven't been blogging in a while...
won't be in church today... cos' supposed to be studying...
aih... nid to kickstart my EOS7 revision....
it's DECEMBER already!! 2 months ONLY more!!!

but december doesn't just bring stress with it...
there's also plenty more to life than just exams...
like STUDY, WARD WORK, REVISE, PREPARE SUMMARY, CFCS, RESEARCH....
ahh... bodoh punye IMU... semua benda dia kasi letak pada "holiday season"... dah lah tak bagi holiday...

but more importantly...
it's CHRISTMAS... yay!! :)
heh... and it's not just about the presents... there's also...
Christmas Celebrations and... reminders about why I believe in what i believe :)

decisions

haiz...
i hate tough decisions...
especially depressing decisions...

music

hmm...
sometimes i wonder if i should be doing medicine at all...
life would be so much easier i think if i became...
a musician...
i mean... all i'd have to worry about is practice... having fun while making great music...
can get to meet all sorts of funky "artistic" ppl...
of course... if i was going to earn any money i'd have to be good at playing music... which i suppose would be where the stress would come from...

other benefits would be...

i'd be SO FREE!!!
no need to STUDY!!!
heh... get to try smoking... drugs and getting high... lol... all those musicians either smoke or take drugs to get the "creative" juices flowing... hahaha...
can listen to GREAT music ALL the time...
yeah... actually since reading about substance abuse in Kaplan's i've been really curious about what it'd feel like...
hahaha... curiousity is the first step to drug abuse rite?
maybe that's why i'm studying medicine... so that one day i can sneak a vial of morphine to shoot up my right arm...

lol... i have such a great imagination... and no... i'm not high on drugs or nicotine...
my mum would kill me before the intoxication does... :P

*magical* prediction no.9

i'm doing something i haven't done in a while...

Today...

The true meaning of Merdeka will resonate in your ears

the above pic is a picture taken from a merdeka trip we had in melaka...

and err the picture kinda summed up what we did...

syok sendiri...

in the true spirit of merdeka, syok sendiri epitomises the malaysian culture...

well... merdeka is long past... and the only reason i'm blogging about merdeka is bcos' i so happened to pull this "prediction" out...

exams next week...

STUDY!!!

psychiatry

psych... is frustratingly boring...
even as i entered the posting i began feeling a sense of intense apathy...
hmm....

well... the subject does have it's interesting points...
just that they're not relevant or clinical...
take for example sleep disorders... which would be so majorly interesting if i could see real patients who had them...

Dyssomnias

1)Cataplexy
-brief episodes of muscle weakness or paralysis with no loss of sonsciousness (due to sleepiness)

2) Ekbom syndrome (Restless leg syndrome)
-uncomfortable sensations in legs at rest... relieved by movement
*i think i got this

3)Kleine-Levin syndrome
-periodic disorder of episodic hypersomnolence
-may sleep excessively for SEVERAL WEEKS and awaken only to EAT VORACIOUSLY

Parasomnias
1)Sleep terror disorder
-sudden awakening usually sitting up with intense anxiety

2)Somnambulism
-brief episodes of LEAVING bed and WALKING about without full counsciousness
-amneisa for the event
-can usually be guided back to bed (cool... imagine if you guide him back to other places)
-can sometimes be initiated by placing child in standing position... lolz...

3)Sleep bruxism
-tooth grinding THROUGHOUT the night
*i wonder if je has this... whenever i'm standing near him i can always hear him grinding his teeth

and lastly... just for the funky name...

4)jactatio capitis nocturna
-rhythmic head or body rocking just before or during sleep

haiz... psychiatry... is moving slooooooowly....
to an end...

birthdays

this month is a month of birthdays :)
amongst the many... there are a few that are close to me...
daniel celebrated his on thursday 25th...
err.. i was actually looking for something i wrote up abt him... tapi tak jumpa... rasanya sudah ter delete...
but... in spite of my apathy... dia seorang kawan yang baik...
sometimes feel like wan to keep him in a plastic bag so that he stop making lame embarassing jokes and touching my face... sometimes best when i got mood to play wif him and can do lame jokes...
but the best thing about him is...
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
he's FAT... haha... no la... he's a good friend la...

the other guy is.... ANDREW the frog!!!
although he's not here... this guy also is a good friend... similarly hilarious but always nice to play and joke with...
always ready with some dumb stuff, he's actually very manly although he looks gentle and sensitive...
btw, by "not here" i mean he's in Otago, NZ... not meaning "not here" as in... u know... lol

others on the birthday roll whom are close too but i won't blog about for the sake of brevity are...
leena sim (a good friend since... kecik.... sangat kecik)
chiyuan wong (also overseas... now holidaying... so tak berapa tau lokasi yang tepatnya... dia abang kawan baik aku punye girlfren... complex rite)
timothy lai (some old married guy... lol.. shh...)
err... if i forget anyone sorry yah... you all lah... who ask to born all together...
never hear b4 contraception and spacing meh...

401

my 401st post..
hmm... but actually i have other things on my mind other than having so many posts...
i've been noticing my memory becoming poorer recently...
maybe it's because i'm doing psychiatry that i'm thinking i have a dissociative amnestic disorder...
but my memory.. more specifically recent memory is at times... dejectedly abhorrent...
i mean.. i can go downstairs to get something (not that there's anything downstairs to get)....
ok, i can go upstairs to get something for my room..
the actions involved would be... putting the thought into my mind that i want to get... say... a ruler...
so then i get up, walk up the stairs... and the when i reach my room... i'm either distracted by something that grabs my empty brain's attention... or just sit down and think what is it that i wanted to get...
more often than not i'm going back downstairs to continue whatever it was i was doing until i need that ruler again...
case in point would be my forgotten SHIRTS...
and i have been forgetting my clerking excercise book a couple of times this week and during Obs posting...
my distant memory and immediate memory is fine... just... recent 5 minute memory...
in fact,
i was testing a patient for 5 object memory at 1 and 5 minutes...
she could remember 4 items...
so could i... i couldn't remember the last one...
and i thought...
okay... who's the patient now...

btw... the past 2 nights have been a bit disturbing...
last night i dreamt that i was in the psych ward... and the patients were fine... but everyone was saying i was the one with psychotic delusions in spite of my earnest protests... hmm... scary...
is this folie a deux?

hari raya card

i recieved a hari raya card from yeangwee...
heh, i suppose he had a ball of a time getting people to sign it and give it to me...
i'm mildly amused at his preoccupation with me...
i actually found it mildly odd...
so, i don't know whether i should thank him or do what...
so i just thought i'd acknowledge the reciept of the card and everyone who put in the effort to humor yeangwee and me? to put their little 2cents worth into the card...

yeah... odd...

*magical* prediction number 8?

yeah... i'm back online and in seremban...
and so i thought... with nothing much to blog about...
i'd fall back on those magical prediction's that i so rarely pull out of the bottle...

today...
your family will call you unexpectedly. Act Surprised.

well... they didn't call... but i certainly did call them...
because i'd forgot to bring back the shirts i took to wash back to seremban and left them in KL...
thankfully, HL was going to BJ for debate... so i asked him to pick up the shirts since he's there...
so i called home to tell them... well... my sister was ok about it....
but apparently now my mum thinks i'm walking around shirtless under the lab coat... LOL...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!
won't be bringing back my comp this time...
so it'll be 9 days of no computer and no internet...
have a HAPPY RAYA ^^

religious outing

hehe... tomoro i'm off...
so i agreed miss C to go with her for an outing...
well... let's just say that i went in with different expectations from what i got...
the "advertisement" was that this would be a "******* Fellowship" where people of other religions were invited. and also that food? would be provided, and that this would be at an ex-lecturer's house...
so the image in my head was that of some kind of catered food thingy with maybe some religious talk at some point... and then some time to get to meet juniors, ex-lecturers...

well... i won't go into the details, but... i guess i can say the "meeting" was slightly more "religious" than what i expected... hehe, which actually made for a more interesting evening...

but anyways... i observed a few things that struck me about how it feels like to go for another religion's meeting, that i think maybe others may feel if they go for my "religion's" meetings (christian)

1) when you go for "religious" events... don't expect things to be unreligious... in fact, whether christian or otherwise... we try to give invitee's as secular an idea as possible to "draw" people, but most of the time admittedly in christian meetings i've observed that we dish out more religion than was promised...
2) anyone involved in doing anything in the "meeting" is kinda assumed to be a "religious" expert...
3) invitee's try to keep as low a profile as possible... introductions are SCARY... because it IS a strange situation...
4) if you're not of that same religion... or maybe even if you are... or maybe it's just me... i start "comparing" religions...
5) there WILL be jargon or strange ceremonies done that will provoke awkwardness and "don't-know-what-to-do-now" feelings...

but anyway... it made for an interesting and thought provoking evening... not least because i observed that in ******* religion, they have been observing and learning from christian practices alot... church and christians were brought up quite a few times during the talk... in fact, most of the things that were done or discussed were very reminiscent of what we christian's do (but maybe that's just the whole religion thing where all religions run in this "standard format")

which brings me to the thing that struck me the most
6)what makes us different from the rest?

nice

today... is a good day (=
i'm now in PSYCH.... the crazy people posting... yay!! i finally get to meet people like me...
hahaha...
but this should be an interesting posting... and a very free one i think... even more when you consider that next week we're off for RAYA!!! ^^
but today is a good day...
came back after lunch... and slept... slept... slept...slept... it was SOOO GOOD weather to sleep, with cool breeze, hardly any sun, clouds and rain after that... ahhh.... enjoy...
some days are meant for sleeping in...

i'm obviously awake now by the way....

mehjeecal preedeecshehn

today...
you will have a sudden inexplicable, irrepressible urge to act cute.
Give in to it.

hahaha... err... i don't need to act cute cos' i AM... hahaha... right...
but umm... didn't experience any "abnormal urges"...
i think i did dance a little while at the piano in front today.. but that's what i normally do anyways... so i don't think it counts...
umm... i googled cute and came up with this site...
http://cuteoverload.com/
hmm... not really one for cute stuff... never really understood the attraction...
but then again, there are many mysteries in life...
like why shopping is fun...
and other various stuff (=

holes in our hearts

we all have an emptiness within us...
a longing that can't seem to be fulfilled...
man has always lived wanting more. he has always wanted to be more than what he is now. to be in front of where he is now.
it is the driving force that pushes him forward.

we all long for something more.
some seek to fulfill this by taking from others or by improving themselves.
but it remains the same. a vacuum. a blackhole that can not be filled with neither an effort to make or a struggle to take.
it is the very thing that defines our humanity.
and it is precisely our very human nature that prevents us from satisfying our deepest desire.

an ant, can hardly hope to become more than an ant by learning from other ants. from building with other ants. from training with other ants.
neither can it hope to become more by stealing from other ants, from killing other ants, from coveting what other ants have.
the only way an ant can be greater than what he is, is if something greater than it lifts it higher than what it is now.

should we be so proud as to think that we can satisfy our deepest desires by ourselves. If something is truly worth desiring or chasing after, should it not be that which we cannot hope to reach by ourselves but that which can only get recieved as a gift?

Ecclesiastes 6:2- God gives a man wealth, possessions and honor, so that he lacks nothing his heart desires, but God does not enable him to enjoy them, and a stranger enjoys them instead. This is meaningless, a grievous evil.

Psalm 145:16- You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

reflections on O&G

clinical acumen is the bane of medical students...
it is the thing we aim for...
it is the thing they try to teach us...
it is the thing that we cannot use because we are inexperienced...
it is the thing specialists always use because they are experienced...
it is the excuse to do something when you don't have evidence to back you up...
it is... guessing when you don't know the answer...

heh... i thought of this as i was studying irritatedly last nite just b4 exams...
but on a whole obs has been a good posting...
heh... it's gone by really fast... i think i'll be dropping by once in a while during psych to do things i never got to do while i was in obs...
but it's been good...

during obs i suddenly realized that now we're no longer mere medical students... no longer just students learning about medicine... but now we're junior doctors... practicing for when we become housemen... and things that we do or don't do will come back to haunt us...
especially things like... haih... i should have enjoyed myself more... lol...
or more practical things like.. i should have practiced inserting branulas and drawing blood more...
but well... i guess i still got 2 years to "make full use of my time"...

tajikstan?

today's prediction says i could be prime minister of tajikstan..

hmm... Tajikstan??

since i'm the new PM of tajikstan, i thought it'd be in order to enlighten the world on the country of my dominance...



here's several fun facts about Tajikstan, picked up from the source of all modern knowledge...Wikipedia


















that's the national flag of Tajikstan, and it's location on the world map...
hmm... fun facts...

1) the main source of income is drug trafficking.. lol, that must be fun... i wonder what the kids ambtions are as they grow up

2)they speak Tajik.. or Persian

3)they celebrate International Woman's Day on March 8 as a public holiday... heh... that'd be cool actually...

4) Tajikstan is not a fun place to be... cos' i can't find anymore fun facts... oh well... maybe the prediction won't come true anyway...

*magical prediction~*... no. 8 i think..

today...
an old friend will stir up pleasant memories...
hmm... well... haven't met any old friends recently...
and this magical prediction was pulled out about a week ago..
hmm... but i think i've been too busy for pleasant memories...
heh... so sad...
well... the busy-ness is drawing to an end..
interesting how busy-ness doesn't always equate with fruitfulness...

heh... any old friends interested in stirring up some of my pleasant memories on reading this post? (=

*magical* prediction...

today...
someone will see you naked....

yeah... right....
i lock the doors when i go bathe... and i don't sleep in the buff...
hmm....
unless... someone has been taking secret pictures of me...
on the other hand... i do take off my shirt in public...
when i'm playing futsal... hahaha...

btw, my housemate took pictures of the bottle and tried his own luck at a *magical prediction*
you can read all about it at fengyblogstoo.blogspot.com
lol

*magical* prediction

today...
A girl is going to say "I Love You" to you...
She might not Mean It though...

lol... i smiled when i took this one out...

it's been a long weekend... call wasn't so bad i suppose, considering i skipped a large portion of it... :P
shhh....

but i thank God i made it throught the day with a smile on my face :)...

*magical* prediction 3

this isn't actually today's prediction... it was yesterday...
but yesterday and the day before was quite busy days... cos' of on call and subsequent tiredness...
so i only pulled out the prediction at nite and blogged about it today...
it says...
today...
you'll be blessed with POWERS OF INVULNERABILITY... unfortunately it'll last just 1 minute...

heh... yeah... it must have been that 1 minute while i was sitting over the toilet bowl...
no wonder i felt something leave me after the 1 minute was over...

ehhneeeweeyyy....
gonna be on call tomoro and sunday...
gonna be a long week ahead wif no weekend to rest...
anddd... not going back...
hope i don't look drained on monday...

today's *magical* prediction 2

today's *magical* prediction is...
TODAY... you will waste a lot of time trying to figure out things that should never be figured out in the first place.
hmm... well... today i had quite a lot of free time... i think it was the most "relaxing" day of OnG yet... cos' Dr. Zain was off, so i didn't have much to do... and afternoons i discovered are boring in the ward...
so spent most of the day trying to palpate as many patients without seeming like a nuisance...
didn't really have much to figure out...
oh...
unless you count trying to figure out what the meaning of "figure out" in this message means, cos' then i'd have wasted about 5 minutes trying to figure out what i was supposed to be figuring out... lol...

having a good week...

the *magical* bottle of amazing predictions

someone gave me a bottle of *magical* predictions... one to take out everyday...
haha... it was nice, but i took them all out to read already...
but it'll be fun to take one out each day and blog about how it might have retrospectively applied to me *magically*...
so, today's *magical* prediction...

Today... Something will make you wish that you were born a girl...
(*note... prediction may have be modified for public viewing and reduction of embarassment on my part)

As a matter of fact... I did wish that i was a girl today... bcos' i'm in a obstetric ward where ALL the patients are female... and examining them requires a female chaperone... which WASN'T available today... at least for a while... but it was a bothersome while to wait...

haha... its nice to have pleasant surprises like this to come home to after a long day at the hospital...

stress

talk about hitting the ground running...
OnG is a crazy busy posting...
on call once every week for 5 weeks (including exam week)
on call on weekend once... for the whole weekend.. whole day... sat and sunday
one report due every week...
one report for each time on call...
not to mention i don't know aNYTHING about obstetrics (thankfully its just Obs now and not yet Gyne)

on top of that i come home to a non working internet...
housemates away for FUTSAL!!! i guess i could have gone, but i doubt it'd have improved my mood... and anyway, i felt tired enough to sleep in the driveway...

hmm.... at least i'm done with scheduling rosters... and rooms have been booked for 2 weeks...
hopefully nothing overtly bad happens for the 5 weeks...
i'm actually somewhat bothered now about what to do if someone oversleeps and asks me to overlook their lateness or absence (cos' i've to take attendance too)

not to mention weather is rainy and gloomy...

holidays ending

holidays are ending again...
only got less than a week left :)
this holiday has been good... really good...
i didn't travel much, but that's ok... didn't really do much either... but that's ok :)
but it's been a good holidays...
good... because i rediscovered God over these past 3 weeks...
i started off by "fasting" from using the computer and putting entertainment to a minimum... heh, which was why i was kinda absent online... but it was a good choice i believe...
by making entertainment not the focus of the holidays, i let God come back into my life...
it would've been easy i suppose to "make the most" of these holidays by making plans and going places, but i think that it's become a problem cos' when i'm working, i'm rushing here and there for studies and stuff... and during the holidays if i'd been running here and there to "relax".... heh, don't think i'd be as satisfied as i am now...

but i suppose these holidays wasn't a story of what i did, so much so as what God did :)

is ignorance bliss?

i have a dilemma of sorts...
after much trial and error... and referencing from the internet...
i've finally managed to install EVERYTHING into one OS... which i am proud to say... is XP...
and not Vista...
oh..umm... everything meaning... all my hardware drivers...
so that now... currently.. EVERYTHING works on my XP...
including my video card...
working beautifully...
problem is... i haven't tried running anything that even slightly taxes it...
in vista, due to what i originally thought was a driver problem, whenever i play games or do anything that needs the vid card to work harder... the screen goes black every 5 minutes or so... before coming back to life... it lags too at times...

so... i thought that running XP would solve my problems... and so i thought... however, when i tried playing on XP... the thing crashed all together... hmm... and at that time... it appeared to be a driver problem again... cos' the pirated version of XP that i had couldn't seem to get the driver in fully also...

well... which brings me to now... now... everything's fine... from a software point of view...
but i haven't tried playing anything...

partly cos' if i do... and if things go wrong... then it'd mean i have no idea what's wrong... OR... that the problem is with the hardware...
hmm...
is ignorance bliss?

maybe i should just quit gaming...

interesting sites

i decided not to study today...

not that i've been... but yesterday i picked up a book n read a bit, so to make me look good i officially state that i've started studying...
but i digress... i decided not to study today...

so i went surfing...

btw, if you're wondering why u can't see me online... it's bcos (ref previous post) i can't log in to msn or access any microsoft websites from my vista computer... but with my other house computer i can(which lags so bad and no music)... so i was actually looking for a solution for this...
but anyway...

i discovered some interesting websites... umm.. i exclude blogs so that it won't seem as if i like certain ppl...








this is one cool site... you can post questions to about ANYthing... and ANYone can answer :)...

note... *ANY*...

and there ARE some pretty fun questions...like:



question: what's the meaning of life?

answer: hard to describe
but life is like a hamburger with everything on it
there are parts i like
and parts i just wanna get through
but overall the hamburger is good



: According to the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, it is 42.



question: why is it cool to be stupid?
answer: Cause stupid questions earn easy points. ;)



question: What types of parrots are the least noisy of the parrot family?
answer: srry all parrots r noisy



and many others



and then... actually not today but about last month, i discovered





if you're into art... and even if you're not... there's some really funky pictures here... all original... some hand drawn, painted, computer drawn... but mostly good...
Hoon is really good...
so is elvenkind and gilad... good updates are rare though...



and last but not least...






http://hammyblogs.blogspot.com/




haha... this doesn't really qualify as a blog... cos' its.... dead :P
i just love this site...not for its updates...lol...
more for that little chatbox at the side... haha... i doubt the owner even knows what's going on...

well... i doubt u all are as free as me anyway...

unable to connect

zzzz....
i'm back online after a week...
and the message greeting me after all that time is...

We were unable to sign you in to Windows Live Messenger, possible because of a problem with the service or with your Internet connection. Please make sure that you are connected to the Internet.

To let us try and troubleshoot the problem, click the Troubleshoot button.

Error code: 81000306

zzzzz

garden

hmm...
today started well enuff... woke up n went jogging...
then did gardening (=... i have a patch of earth about 10 by 1 metres...
fit for weeds and grass... i find it quite relaxing to just periodically pull up random green shoots which i think are weeds... they probably are, in that unhealthy looking, rock strewn patch of dirt i think only weeds can grow....
i tried transplanting 3 patches of grass onto my "garden"... they don't seem to be dying but neither do they seem like proliferating..
anyway, pulling weeds is quite therapeutic... now, if only i could find more grass... a cangkul... and some real plants to put into the earth... then maybe it'd be more fun :P

lol... zhiyong the gardener

scary face

my friends say i have a scary face when i'm upset...
my grandma just passed away this afternoon...
half of me wants the scary face on...
half of me wants to talk to someone...
currently my scary half is on...
well... going back home again tmr... probably will be back by thursday evening or earlier...

i thought this was supposed to be a happy week...

fam med

family medicine is drawing to an end...
this 10 week holiday has proven to be...

a holiday..

i still think it's quite a waste of time n money...
no doubt there're plenty of things to learn but coming at home at 12 or 1pm and having nothing much to do gets boring after a while..
it was fun initially i guess... but now my brain feels rather empty...
this week is OSCE... not really motivated to study...
dr.loh's not really helping things when he tells you that he doesn't fail anybody...

heh.. and next week we have absolutely nothing until MCQs on friday... hmm....
and then the 3 weeks of semester break b4 sem7...

feel flat

dun feel too good today...
things started of poorly enuff... the night b4 i was sleeping in my home sofa cos' my brother was sleeping in the bedroom (i was too tired to pull out the mattress)
so although i slept earlier (1130) i still felt tired when i woke up (730)... i think cos' the exhaustion from the previous day still hadn't cleared (kg angkat project)...
also... the night b4 i took albendazole (deworming med) cos' i was playing football barefoot in the kg (on the upside i scored a goal and helped create another :P... we lost 2-7 btw)
so well... felt crappy the whole morning...

well... now i'm home... (thanks to sautjun... it'd have felt worse if i had to take the ktm back)
still feel... flat... not reli happy, not reli unhappy... yeah... but its just for a while...