i'm awake

i'm awake...
ready to go...
final year of medicine is going down in a flash...

final preparations to make...
HAVE FUN for the last 3 days!!
its not gonna be an easy journey from here out...

one last post

i'd been wanting to post this for some time now, but i suppose i've been distracted the last couple of days...
but anyway... just one last post on juliang

i suppose it'll take some getting used to, to stop praying for juliang..
we've been praying for him for almost 3 years..
i suppose at first it did seem like our prayers had gone to waste..
but looking back, i think instead of wondering why God did not heal him absolutely... i suppose we could look at it as God granting us a stay of 2 years before taking juliang home..
in this 2 years i guess we've seen that God really does answer prayers... and that miracles do happen...
and i guess, what would mean more to us would be that God granted us 2 years to say goodbye...

maybe the thing that bothered me the most was why God would seem to answer our prayers but at the last minute, "pull back".. why grant the "minor miracle" of his heartbeat picking up...
why grant the bone marrow donor when in the end everything went to "waste"...
i already found it hard to believe in miracles that somoene can survive after septicemia and multiple organ failure... and these last "flickers of life" seemed like cruel tricks to grab on to hope for a miracle only to let us down at the last moment...

i struggled with this for a while until i came to be satisfied with the understanding that all this was done not for juliang... but for us... so that we might continue to believe in miracles... so that we might be able to always see the light when all seems so dark...
and i think in the end that kinda sums up all that juliang went through...

not because juliang did something wrong... not to test his faith... not to "take us for a ride"
but so that we might believe...
that it IS possible that..."to live is Christ, and to die is gain"
so that we might live in the knowledge that our lives now are just a preparation for the greater and better chapter..

ending

today... it ended... i'm not sure what time, but i got the message at 12pm...
not quite sure how to feel...
i guess its still too sudden...

juliang

Jesus loves me this i know,
for the bible tells me so.
little ones to him belong,
they are weak but he is strong...

this post is for juliang.. who is in critical condition...
because we believe that He is still taking care of us even when things don't look good...

saturday

heh.. looks like my attempt to blog everyday wasn't so succesful...
oh well... i suppose i'm not a habitual blogger...

otherwise... today's saturday :) i haven't spent saturday in seremban in a while...
and yeah... i'll be away tmr at camp... heh, quite wish i could be there till wednesday... but well... exam's more important i guess... lol

hmm... this is still quite a lala post...
i think it'll be my last short post... which means that the next update should probably be taking quite a long while to come... lol

eksam

today exam...
did ok i guess... ok enuff to pass...
i noob-ly identified a wrong murmur...
but i guess i'm ok with it...
i need more clinical practice heh... well, at least i have a direction to aim for...
more clinical practice... yes... will get down to it...

tyred

so crazy pig tired today...
think its the cumulative effect of playing badminton on wed and futsal on thurs...
i wish i could go to sleep in seremban and just wake up in kl...
wondering if i should drive back...

today

i opened the bottle today... it said...
"today.. will be a completely, totally, utterly different day from yesterday."

heh...
its nice having the promise of today because the PRESENT is always a GIFT...

on the other hand... after i came back today
i realized the whole day as quite wasted, cos' it was spent attending a "seminar" on organ donation... which i quite slept thru...
oh well... at least i've gotten my 10 survey patients done dy :)

i feel like some kinda lala boys blogging like this about mundane stuff actually... =_+

quantity/quality

went to ward today... to practice examination...
tired but feeling accomplished...
did a good deed today: took cpei to pasar malam to try cheer her up...

if you've noticed, i'm blogging shorter but more frequently...
wonder if in a blog, quantity matters more over quality...

on other matters... i've just been buzzed by someone alerting me to a very interesting post on suchuen's blog... its long...

but... nice :)

accomplished

today woke up.. made a list of stuff to do..
1. call GP to arrange GP posting
2. relaod TnG
3. deposit Boo cheque
yeah... just now did all... didn't forget any... well done to myself :)