Christmas- post no.2

ok... this is the SECOND post which appears BEFORE the first post which i typed AFTER the first post... but never mind... if you're smart you'll know what i'm typing... if you're clifford.. you'll probably ask me... but never mind...

this is post is about... CHIST-MAS... which sounds like CHEESE-MAS... hahahaha....
okay.. i found that really amusing cos' CHEESE was also born in a manger, is also good for everyone... and can be found on pizzas...
ok.. this is just the meaningless counterpart to the meaningful post down below...
but... i really find CHISTMAS really funny...

Christmas- post no.1

ok... because of my blogger template... this post will appear at the bottom... but none the less...
THIS is the FIRST Christmas post which PRECEDES the one AFTER this which actually appears BEFORE this... ok... now the the crappy stuff is done...

this christmas is one of my less "happening" christmases... but i think... one of my more meaningful ones... this morning woke up early to go for my fren's christmas mass... i think the very act of waking up early before everyone else and going out in the early morning christmas air helps to reflect on christmas... and also the fact that i don't have to rush for service to be pianist or PA... so even as today began it was already.. nice... to just sit and listen(like mary)... instead of rushing about doing stuff (like martha)...
have you ever been to a catholic service... i think everyone should at least once... Christian denominations i was thinking earlier this morning face two extremes... either ritualism which pushes God to a distance or spontaniety and informality which brings God nearer... canaan i think is kinda moving towards informality, and i realized that although we make God more relevant to people... we run the risk of making God a bit "too close" to the extent that the Value of meeting God is kinda lost... where as in a catholic church where almost the entire service is already pre-ordained, although we run the risk of making God distant and running rituals just for the sake of running them, i realized that if run with a correct understanding of why things are done.. we actually honor and respect God.. as God and not some "guy" that we can come how and if we want...
on christmas especially, when we remember how God who once was far chose to come near... i think it's good that we remember how awesome the God who is contained in baby Jesus is...

meaning of life...

i was just wasting time online...
came home from library and didn't really feel like continuing studying...
when i came across this...
it's quite... interesting and cool... and weird...
it's from yahoo... and i came across it while mindlessly surfind around...
basically i just wanna waste some more time by posting some mindless internet surf...

but still... it is a little thought provoking... more of interesting actually to see what the world at large thinks...

here are some excerpts... the site is here...

This is the supposed "best" answer... it's a bit long... so i'll just give u up to about 30 words...

A question that has been asked so many times in so many ways.There is no finite answer that human beings at this level would be absolutely satisfied with, because any answer would only lead to another question.
More why's, but...what..how?

it's really long... if u really wanna read it go check out the site..

here's more shorter and more interesting answers...
i think this is the bane of the internet... no one's interested in substance anymore... just bright lights will do... and not too many of it...

By, popsicle

hard to describe
but life is like a hamburger with everything on it
there are parts i like
and parts i just wanna get through
but overall the hamburger is good
*nice... but a bit like Forrest Gump*

By, Brian

According to the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, it is 42.
*lol... first entry to get me smiling*

By, ssendaj

Ah! The meaning of life! The human experience is the single thing that ties all of us together. You should read some of the basics existentialism; satre, nietzche. Also absurdism; Albert Camus, in the Myth of Sisyphus, ponders if life is worth living. Though a seemingly depressing notion, Camus argued that the only way to find true meaning is to free oneself of presupposed notions of fate. It's really great stuff. Life is a wonderous thing and the universe is full of possibilities!
*wat?? *

i found it mildly interesting that amongst over 20 replies to this question... 4 were religious...
3 christian (kinda).. and one buddhist i think.. Dharma is buddhist rite?... the other's were mainly... fun answers... but most of the answers as well as the longer answers... consisted of probably atheistic ppl trying to promote their belief or rather.. un-belief in God... strange, but i realized that if the tables were turned... and it were the religious ppl trying to persuade others to see things from their point of view ppl would ask...
"Why do you have to force everyone to believe wat you believe in?"
but since its coming from some one who "doesn't believe in anything"... heh, i guess it's "okay" to "persuade" someone to "not believe" in anything, but it's bad to persuade someone to believe in something... hmm...

christmas shopping

did my christmas shopping today...
hmm... and lost one whole day of studying... hmm...
rushing to try to finish everything b4 christmas... but it looks impossible by the moment...
hmm... suddenly seems like got so much to do...

oh yeah... although i did my christmas shopping but its... rushed...
so.. if you didn't get a present from me, its not bcos' i don't like you...
its cos' i'm... rushed...
yeah...

not sick

heh.. umm.. don't really have much to post...
this is more of a "counter-post"
just to avoid any misunderstanding...
i'm not sick no more now..

scik

hmm... diarrhea+emesis last nite...
not feeling too good today...
haiz... but don't have time to be sick... lest than 30 days to EOS...

life.. and exams

hmm... i realized today... how much exams and IMU have taken from my life...
i was thinking back on today, and i realized that so much stuff that i used to do with all my heart has almost lost meaning and just become some to do from day to day..
teaching sunday school, which i used to enjoy... has just become something to get over with from 930 to 1030 every sunday...
followed up almost immediately with PA duty(unescapable... i'm never not on duty somehow) which had become a drag as well..
strange as it may seem... today during VBS graduation service, PA was hectic as usual, but as things slowed down, Noel n Ju Liang appearing from no where to suddenly be in the PA room and help out, as well as yeesan, juping, wengkit suddenly wanting to help out too...
i remembered that PA used to be enjoyable too...
then i began thinking forward more... to TU... yeah, TU had stopped become enjoyable too :... and then just everyday living...

there's more to life than just study, sleep, eat and study... even though time may not seem to be enough... but i've committed exams to God, i suppose i should leave it in His hands and live my life with more to it than just studies...

okay.. so now i've a couple of things on my mind that i want to do in spite of exams...
Get Christmas presents for sunday school students =)
Enjoy my last few TUs
take each day slowly... and do more than just study... to give something to someone everyday...

having said that though... tmr and day after is the LAST 2 DAYS OF LECTURES!!! time flies so fast... (= i hope i don't sleep through it...

christmas

its christmas soon...
and i'm thinking of mei...
heh, i still remember the first time we met up was on boxing day...
haha, and i'm still keeping the card with bad handwriting...

christmas~ ^^

sien

waaa... sien...
3 systems down... 6 to go...
haiz... 305 5UX..

humor n humility

humor- wikipedia describes it as- "the ability or quality of people, objects, or situations to evoke feelings of amusement in other people. The term encompasses a form of entertainment or human communication which evokes such feelings, or which makes people laugh or feel happy."

humility-also by wikipedia, described as- "a quality or characteristic ascribed to a person who is considered to be humble. A humble person is generally thought to be unpretentious and modest: someone who does not think that he or she is better or more important than others. "

today i was thinking about humor and humility... and i realized that... a lot of, if not most or all of humor involves putting down and laughing at something, someone, an object, an animal... i was thinking... fun and funny as it is... is all we can laugh at the faults or others? and then did Jesus laugh at others? did he... have a sense of humor? does humility and humor go together?
hmm... i'm not saying its wrong to have a sense of humor, but i was just wondering... and heh, no... i don't have any answers... i was just wondering...

The story of the futsallers in Score Arena

the story of the futsallers in Score Arena

For the kingdom of heaven is like a group of futsallers who agreed to play in Score Arena at 230pm after church. Well, so at 230 there were 4 ppl... by about 245, there were 7... and the 7 ppl waited till 3... and still there were 7... and by 315 there were still 7... There were supposed to be at least 11 ppl who agreed to come. 1 said he would be coming late being busy with matters in church. Another was taking care of his sick mother at home and also said he would be late. Of the other 2 there was no news... So being disappointed and such they decided to close the court and just go home and pay up the 50 bucks. However at about 330pm... one hour from the agreed time... the people gradually turned up. And so they played futsal till almost 430pm. And when the time came to pay up, those that arrived earlier had to pay more because they had played for longer, and those that arrived later.. almost 12 bucks. Those that came late, managed to get away with paying less, the last person that came that played for about 20 minutes and got away with paying about 3 bucks. And so those that arrived earlier began to grumble(ok la, just one person), "Next time want to come say come la, don't want to come say don't come la, don't say i'll come later then don't know whether you're coming or not" ; "Like this if everyone also come late then come early for wat? If everyone come late then who come earlier pay the extra for you ah, then mah u very untung everytime also come late"; "I pay 2-3x the amount of money you pay and you get to play for almost as long as me, what's this la."

So then on the way home.. the Owner of All the Futsal Courts in the world said to one of them who complained (there was only one anyway). "Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn't you agree to play with those people and for that amount of time? I want to give the man that came late the same amount of fun as you did. Don't i have the right to do what i want with my futsal courts and the joy that i give to everyone? Or are you envious because I am generous?"

"So the last will be first, and the first will be last."

yeah... this is an allegory of The Parable Of The Workers In the Vineyard(cool... and allegory of a parable) in Matthew 20:1-16. It happened today after futsal lah... and heh, in my head lah... the stuff up there is mostly true-la... including the part where the Greatest Owner of all futsal courts in D world(GOD), although that wan i added my imagination a bit to match wat's in the bible...

but yeah, if what the God said to me was the first thing that struck me, i realized 2 other things also as i wrote this blog entry

- in our service, let us not be so proud as to think we are the saviours of the world. It is only by God's grace and mercy that we accomplish anything, like wise, it is by God's grace and mercy that we are saved too, n in His grace n mercy He chooses to use us to accomplish his purpose in this world.

-Let us always remember that we not serving man but God, who IS our Master. Thus even if we DO have to pay more and play less, it is His right to demand it from us.

- Let us not think also that we're superior to the people whom we serve are the only ones who supposedly benefit from our service. It is not just US who are sent to THEM, but THEY too who were sent to us. The youth i serve probably have thought me MORE than i have or ever will teach them.

what to say...

there are times when u don't wanna talk... and suddenly everybody seems to want to talk...

and there are sometimes you meet with situations where u really wanna talk... but u just can't think of the words... sometimes, it isn't the vocabulary that limits you... but more of... just not knowing what to say... heheh, and yeah... come to think of it... it does happen during prayer too- which i pretentiously cover up by just muttering some standard thing that comes to mind...
hmm.. but then, ironically, in conversations with real ppl... there's no such option to "cover up"... i mean... u can't just say.. "oh, it's a sunny day"... where as in prayer u can just say.. "i commit such and such a matter into your hands"... which is really bad lah...

on the other hand...
sometimes i really wish conversations were easier to hold... or start...

anti-social

hmm... i don't think of myself generally as an antisocial person...
wah... but lately i've been indulging in antisocial tendencies, bordering on hermit-like..lolz :P
haih... last saturday was invited to a birthday party for timothy... didn't go, cos' wanted to study... truthfully actually in the end didn't study much... ok, make that at all... i got as far as taking out my notes only...
n i'm not joining carolling this year.. haven't played futsal for 2 weeks (oh, but this wan really is bcos' of money problems)... but yeah... seem to be getting hermit-like tendencies...
hmm... have to get up and get out...

andrew's birthday

hmm... andrew's birthday is tomoro... i mean... at the time of publishing this entry, it would be "today" 28/10... umm... andrew is a great friend... it's hard to get another like him...
he's fun to be around... sometimes a bit gullible...helpful, but he's... a good guy.. a really good guy..
but anyway... this post isn't just about andrew... it's about... andrew's birthday..
somehow over the past week i got unknowingly appointed to be "organizer" of andrew's birthday...
anyways... i thought the best way to organize a birthday would be to ask the person we're celebrating... in this case.. andrew...
so he said... don't want present and just go somewhere simple can alredi, like kawan place (Ye Lok Restaurant opposite The Store)...
umm... over a few days, i confirmed and reconfirmed with him... to be quite sure that's what he wanted...
so when i spread the word that there was no present and it was just gonna be a simple celebration.. hmm... response was... mixed to say the least...
but by and large... response was that... Are you sure? no-lah, andrew doesn't deserve something so simple... let's get him a present, let's go somewhere "better"...
not to say that that's bad... i mean... everyone wanted wat's best for andrew and to make him happy... but at a certain point i began thinking... uhh... is this wat YOU want or wat HE wants? how come wat HE wants seems to not really matter...

i realized that sometimes we project our expectations of wat we think is better on to other ppl even though that may not be wat they want...
like birthdays... true.. we try to get wat we think will make that person happy.. but sometimes we forget that what's most important isn't what we think will make him happy but wat the person himself wants..
oh...
and i never realized that organizing birthdays were so troublesome... maybe its partly bcos' ppl like andrew and i are more "straight" and simple minded...

mooseek n other stuffs

i consider myself a guy with a pretty eclectic taste for music...
my brother loves classical, i think a bit of that rubbed off on me... that's why almost any piece with at least SOME strings or a cool brass part tugs at me... but the best music has to be music with a rich and FILLING(for lack of a better word)...

on the other hand, i listen to a lot of pop.. yeah, the sort you listen to on the radio and everywhere... and there are some songs that are not bad... so yeah, pop kinda appeals to me too... although not in the boyband kinda way (although when bekstritboiz comes on the radio and it's something i like i might find myself humming along)

and lately the music scene worldwide features alot of heavy.. rappish, R&B, hip-hop stuff... hmm... of all genres, this appeals least to me... but still... there are a few songs in this category that... umm... are worth listening to...

oh yeah, i play music in church to... and i think Sister Act rox(i learnt the word eclectic from there)... so gospel, CCM and even hymns appeal to me... but yet, not all... cos' like any other genre... there are... umm... not so good music christian music lah... i mean... all music sung for God glorifies him... but... after the 10th planet shakers and hillsongs piece... umm... i think you know wat i mean...

hmm... let's see... basically i'm the kind of person with no "band" loyalty or anything like that... so i tend to listen to anything and everything... did i mention i love japanese anime music too... some remixes are cool.. i also think that 105.7 is a better radio station than 92.9... i may not agree with the lyrics but eminem has rapped some that is good to hear... OSTs from movies i've watched and liked definitely appeal to me (esp disney :P, i think this is also part of the classical thing from my bro - liking music that is just instrumental and without words)... fort minor lately has come out with some good stuff... daniel powter is super overplayed but, heard once in a while, can be good... oh yeah, Alanis Morisette, Goo goo Dolls, The Cranberries, MLTR, Eric Clapton, James Brown, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Green Day, Nat King Cole, Victor Wooten, L'Arc~en~Ciel, Stevie Wonder, Mary J. Blige, Jewel, Karyn White, Micheal Buble... you see... the problem is that i like a LOT of music... but have no favourites... thus i tire very quickly of listening to the same band/artist...

it's precisely because of this that i don't buy much albums... cos.. yeah, it get's boring... compilations work better.. slightly.. cos' compilations tend to be with the same type of music...
so basically.. i like singles, but not artists... hope you get the idea...

heh, my problem is that i recently aquired a whole load of music... or am going to acquire soon, a whole load of music from a hermit (bit by bit).. well, heh... hopefully i can separate the good from the BEST.. cos' i really don't like to listen to... good music... i only like GREAT stuff... hahah, it's a good problem though :P

oh... i found a cool artist's site Gabeart... i liked drawing dragonball when i was a kid... even now when my mind super wanders i still like to draw a bit... i kinda enjoying getting lost in my own brain..

oh yeah, i'm kinda on raya hols now... that's why i have time to blog abt music n stuff... heh, nice break from medicine =)

of frens and hermits

heh... my last post was on stress...
so this post... i found out what the best way to beat stress is...

strange, it isn't dotA... i mean, dotA relieves for a while but, i've realized it never lasts, cos' like... after dotA, u still have to go back to study and bcos' of the time you spent on dotA... yadda yadda, cycle repeats itself...

oh yeah, anyways... wat relieves stress is... friends :)...
yah, corny rite... but yeah, for lasting stress relief... nothing beats being able to just talk about... hmm... nothing? or maybe, something?... doesn't really matter... i think it's the talking...
so.. hmm.. actually if i enjoy talking to the wall, that theoretically should cure stress too... heh, don't know... not stressed enuff yet to have psychosis...

oh ya... and hermits make good frens strangely enuff i discovered:P... and they're good backup when like.. you've gotten dumped or have no one to sit with or talk to or have dinner with...
budden, because they're so good "backup", i shouldn't take them for granted and sometimes spend more time with them hermits :>

heh... umm... it's doubtful that anyone will understand wat the second part of this post is talking about... but, it's about hermits... so, who cares... as long as the hermits understand...

stress cycle

stress is a viscous cycle...
when you are stressed... wait, no you can't start with being stressed, something has to "stimulate" it...
anyways... when you didn't study because of various reasons... dota, imu activities (besides dota), birthday celebration, church activity... so you get left behind in studies...
when you're left behind in studies, then you get stressed...
when you're stressed, you look for ways to relieve stress, i.e.- dota, imu activities (including dota), birthday celebration, church activity...so you get left behind in studies...
when you're left behind in studies, then you get stressed...
haha... repeat viscous cycle over and over again until nervous breakdown ensues...
then stress level is reset to 0 until recovery occurs...
then repeat cycle from beginning again...

yay... enjoy the stress...

M204

Marcus Aurelius: There was a dream that was Rome. You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish, it was so fragile.

Gladiator (2000)

There was a dream that was M204. It was barely a dream, a mere fragment of a dream... It was so fragile you couldn't even think about it... anything more then a moment's thoughts on it and it would vanish it.. don't even speak it out for it would break apart at the mere mention of the dream...
Everywhere we go, people all around us look and wonder... who are these people, that break the records of sports in IMU cup, that break the records for studies and examinations, that break the records for kindness, charity and activities within and without IMU.. who are these... champions?

Today, we the batch of M204, will be crowned champions of the IMU Cup... AGAIN... for the first time in IMU history... a batch has succesfully won the IMU cup in sem 3 and defended it in sem 5... who are we?... we, are M204, the batch of legends, the batch that there will never ever be another like it, the batch that makes history... but most of all... we are a batch of friends... a batch... of unity... that is why, that is how and that is for whom we have succeeded...

Go M204, Sem 5's of 2006...
Fight like champions, win like champions...
And all the rest can go fly kite..

Haha... cool post eh... emma, ask hailiang if he wants to put this in convo mag lah... this was a moment of inspiration...

Legacy

i haven't posted songs in quite a while, but its never too late to start again...
this song... it's meaningful...

Legacy- Nichole Nordeman


I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
And you can take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all the Who's Who's and So-and-So's
That used to be the best at such and such
It wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an "Atta boy" or "Atta girl"
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon
enough destroy

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

Not well-traveled, not well-read
Not well-to-do, or well-bred
Just want to hear instead
Well done, good and faithful one

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me

CNS

hmm... this is too fast for me...
it seems like only last week that we started MSK, and now it's CNS alredi...
too fast, too fast...
well... susah lah... end of year's coming up... EOS coming up... and everybody seems to want me to do something in december... christmas, wedding, PA... alamak...
examlah... can't i just... study...
cis... now i sound like nerd...

anyway, to increase my nerdiness... i've found a website that let's you read books for free... of course... it's books older than 70 years whose copy right has... luputed... yah... books like.. Gray's Anatomy (yalah, applies to medic student only) The Complete Works of Shakespeare... ala, all those olden classic with english that sounds like tamil... heh, currently reading Pilgrim's Progress... but... progress is slow...
come on... who comes online to read books...

choices

to be human is to live with choices...
when we make choices that lead to sin... we become less than human...
when we make choices that lead to God... we become more than human...

the very thing that characterizes humanity is our ability to live and to make choices...
sometimes those choices may be wrong... sometimes they may be right... but to be human is to have the freedom to make those choices...
Thus, each choice we make is an opportunity... either to glorify God, or to sin and glorify ourselves... temptations, can then can be seen as opportunities to glorify God, and not situations that force us into sin... it is curious, that we sometimes we only learn how to make right choices... after we've made the wrong one...

no-one can be forced into making a choice that they don't wish to.. circumstances and people may make us think otherwise, but freedom of choice is something that we can only take away from ourselves... if we choose to...

found

oh... heh.. i found my watch... it was at home all the while...
besides that, i also found some other stuff that had been missing for a while...
like my "fake" ID tag, Joe's wedding invitation card...
hmm... getting absent minded lately leaving stuff around and not remembering where i put it...
age? studies? too much on my mind? maybe i just need...a diary...

feeler post

my watch is missing :(... i last remember it at TU on saturday... where is it??
come back to me watch... you're not old enough to go missing yet... it's only been a year...
yeah... this is a filler post

school

hmm.... classes start tomoro... about 17 hours from now -_-...
on the one hand... it's gonna be fun seeing everyone again...
on the other hand... money's gonna start flowing out like nobody's business..
and... on the other hand... hehe, it means that i'll start being busy and start having things to do besides read wikipedia entries for X-men, Israel vs. Palestine, MAtrix, Che Guevara and various other topics... which i've been doing for the past week...

hmm... but really... i think this system (MSK) will be quite a killer system... haiz... and i don't think i'm gonna have much time to study...this week itself i'm out on monday(joint birthday celebration), tuesday(christmas committee meet), wed (CF and YA), thursday(ahh... finally a free day), friday (worship practice), saturday sunday don't saylah...
hopefully subsequent weeks will be less... but that's not likely, what with IMU cup coming up, orientation... and watever else...
haiz... will need some help getting thru MSK...

stah-lite seeneemar

well... i went starlight cinema last nite...
it was a... umm... a different experience...
here are the pros and the cons...as compared with the average GSC cinema
CONS
1. no comfortable chairs
2. wet grass
3. can't lean back because no comfortable chairs
4. no stars (unlike what was advertised).. it's called STAR light cinema
5. no light (unlike what was advertised).. it's called star LIGHT cinema
6. no air con
7. got ants on the ground
8. no armrest because no comfortable chairs
9. got ppl smoking
10. got children talking about
11. ppl walk in front of you
12. have to sit on newspaper, mats and towel because no comfortable chairs
13. there was this fat dude who was lying on his back msging and i was distracted by him because i started wondering... why on earth did you pay to come here and msg, i mean like... don't you want to WATCH THE MOVIE??... but he actually wasn't doing anything to bother me...
14. basically... the lack of comfortable chairs is my main complaint because... why would anyone want to watch a movie without a COMFORTABLE CHAIR??

PROS
umm... okay, quite frankly i couldn't think of any... but at the end there was this bird or bat or some animal that flew past us... so... umm.. yah, i think the only pro would be..
1. can see animal flying after movie -_-

reflections on mission trip

i just came back from mission trip... as daniel n leena asked me how it was, i realized i couldn't really put it into words on the spot... only now an appropriate
word comes to mind...mission trip was...
a humbling experience...
humbling for the way God can use me
humbling for the grace we recieved from a "so-called-lesser" people
humbling for the lessons God can teach us through mighty men of God who choose a harder and more hidden road
i suppose it would be good to go through what happened during mission trip step by step...first of all was the initial excitement when i signed up for this mission trip.. the excitement of that after all these years of being a christian, i'm finally able to
have an *opportunity to proclaim the sweet name of Jesus.. the excitement that i'm finally "going forth to make disciples of all nations"however, then came the briefings on what would actually happen... and the excitement began to give way to fear... not fear of discomfort(haha... i can
proudly say i'm not one to fear discomfort and mere physical hardships like sleeping on the floor and eating weird food and no "real" toilets) but rather... fear
of the unknown, cos' the more i was briefed on wat to expect, the more i didn't know what to expect, not because the briefings weren't detailed... but
because everything suddenly seemed so uncertain... there were concerns of *police n Jabatan Orang Asli trouble, so we couldn't do stuff like simply give even kids anything bcause if reported, they it would be
assumed that we were "bribing" the villagers into believing in Jesus, it also seemed at first that we would have to go around everywhere in long pants and
not be able to wear shorts bcos' the villagers can't culturally accept shorts(this DID seem weird coming from people who normally go about with nothing or
next to nothing except a loincloth)...but heheh, thankfully this was cleared up that we were only required to wear long pants during services because the
pastor there (Pastor Henry) wanted to encourage the villagers to were appropriate clothings during service, and we were to be examples... uncertainties of
how the people would respond to us, cos' most don't even understand BM, uncertainties of even whether we would be able to stay in the village bcos' as we
learnt, the penghulu has absolute say on whether you're allowed to stay or if he doesn't like you, the you have to leave before evening comes,.. and we
were told the penghulu is a fierce man... so well, i think this fear freaked me out the most... oh yeah... and i was also quite worried about having to pray non
-stop for the 6-hour journey from KL to Grik having never prayed for more than even half an hour before...and i kept on having a nagging fear that we hadn't
prepared enough... especially when we only started learning what our purpose of going there was and what we were going to do there only less than a
week before going...anyway, when mission trip came... heh, well... I learned God works in miraculous ways as long as there are willing hearts and hands to be used...amazingly, i wasn't sleeping throughout the 6 hour journey... we actually DID pray and worship God from KL to Grik and even almost until we reached to
village (heh... actually i fell asleep during the last hour or half hour before reaching Grik, but we continued praying and singing even after that until we almost
reached the village and i fell asleep again ;P) although i found this to be extremely amazing, but i wouldn't think much of it until something i learnt of how
effective our prayers were at the end of the mission trip... anyway, i DID find it an excellent way to start leaving behind and forgetting the our troubles and
problems in our family, church... whatever...and start focusing on God and kinda like moving into "God-mode"...we were welcomed warmly by the pastor and his wife, and things initially seemed quite relaxing as we thought we had nothing to do till evening when we
thought we were supposed to go for a service held by the Jehai orang asli for us(we also thought we didn't have to do anything during the service)...
however God reminded us of why we were there as within an hour of resting, the pastor asked us what we had prepared for the women's ministry(we
initially were told we didn't have to prepare anything for them).. this was at 3 and the women's ministry starts at 4... anyway, we hastily put together a short
program for the women... oh yeah... there were only about 5 women who turned up, but a ton of children came along as well.. cos' even though most of the
mothers were less than 18 years old, most would already have about 4-5 kids... there was a grandmother there who couldn't have been more than 30 or
40...so there we were, trying to lead them in worship and tell them the Noah story in our half past six malay, which they couldn't really understand... but
praise God, we got through and we realized that i realized we REALLY need God's help if we're gonna do ANY communicating for the rest of the trip...anyway, this first "service" was actually a good thing although we weren't prepared, cos'... cos' it was from here that we found out how the orang asli would
respond to us and how much they actually understand what we were talking... cos' the people there don't actually understand BM, they speak their own
tribal language which would be Jehai or Tomiah.. and actually very few of the women understood us... so... most of the first day was actually spent preparing for the next day... planning what we would actually do and stuff like that... during the service, thank
goodness... Ps. Henry understandingly did a service for the Jehai although he had thought we would be the ones doing it.. as it turned out, normally their
service was on that day, and the service we were organizing for the next day, wasn't their normal service day... anyway, besides introducing ourselves... it
was pretty uneventful... besides having bak kut teh wild boar for dinner and getting used to "village" life :P...
come the next day, things did begin as planned but as it went on, it became evident that things weren't running by our own power, but by God's...the children's ministry program, which we had planned.. went amazingly well, partly because we were beginning to adjust to speaking malay after the
"testing" service with the women, but... i think mostly because some of the kids had gone to school before, but mainly becuase through God's guidance...
some of the kids had come for the yesterday's women's ministry following their mum's and we had gotten to know some of them... in the afternoon we went
for a picnic at the river with the pastor, his family and some of the orang asli there, but that passed pretty uneventfully, but helped us to understand the way
of life the orang asli there go through and how they make a "living"- catching fish and relying on the forest to give them everything they need- leaves for
plates, wood for fire...but it was during that night that i really saw God move... through our simple sketch, worship and testimonies... we saw people really responding during the
worship, and as i wrapped up the sketch and gave my own testimony, i found it amazing that BM words were just flowing out of my mouth like english and
the people were really listening intently... i really praise God and i pray that the service helped the Orang Asli there to understand what Christianity is
about... after the service, we prayed for the Pastor and his family and their ministry amongst the orang Asli and it was just amazing listening to the pastor
tell stories of the difficulties he has come through with the police and JOA, obstacles amongst the villagers like misunderstanding and difficulties
communicating with them... it was also during then that we learnt that normally, most groups who go there for mission trips, get questioned by the police...
but amazingly, the police had come a few days earlier than us and missed us... so i really found this amazing, bcos' it just showed that God HAD answered
our prayers and protected us even as we were making our way to the orang asli village.... Praise God...
the next day, was pretty rushed as we woke up pretty late and got packing, but there was one last stop at another village to kinda repeat the service... i
was actually quite relaxed and i had gotten into the "get it over and be done with" mood as i knew at we would be a bit rushing as we had to start moving
soon to get back to KL not too late as it was a six hour journey... but God was again reminding me to grab every opportunity to reach out and try to make an
impact even at this last stop... and even though i did not really "say anything" during this service, but i felt God move through the other team members
testimonies during the service... and during the boat rides i got to know this teenager- Indra, whom even from the first night i feel God was introducing to
me... during the first night after the service he taught me how to play their traditional bamboo instrument, and the next day we played football together, and
through my feeble attempts to communicate with him, i feel i and gary got to know him a little better... will be praying for him everyday in the hope that he
comes to the knowledge and saving grace of Jesus Christ.. will also be sending back pictures we took with him...heh, i just realized that every contact with
him was not through anything i did, but through God using Gary.... both the first night, it was he who initiated Indra teaching us to play their bamboo
instrument and the next day, it was he who looked for the football to play with him... heh, i merely followed after through God's guiding although i didn't
know it at the moment..
heh... well, it's been an awesome mission trip and an experience...being used by God, it's really a high that no dotA game can give you...oh yeah, that high continued today as i shared in my sunday school class about how important it is to tell others about Christ and the difficulties some people
are willing to endure for Jesus sake... i was sharing about the girl who converted to Christianity from Islam and wanted to change her IC and by the end of
the lesson, Mark was asking to pray for that girl so that if the courts allow her to be a christian, then he can go tell his Malay friends to convert to Christianity too
:P... praise God...

heh... wah... super panjang gila... congrats if you made it thus far... heh, but i believe this is just scratching the surface on how God can use people... i still believe that if i were more obedient, God could have used me even more... but opportunities knock everyday, all God needs are open hearts and willing hands... Glory to God...

holidays

:) i'm on a 2 week break... hmm... most of the guys in IMU are back in their hometowns... so over here, it's just us KL ppl left behind to spend the holidays... strangely enough, there are some "outsiders"... vickie's apparently not going back... kexin n christina i think are gonna be around during the weekends cos' they're doing part-time... but well... see how it goes, but holidays in IMU without anyone around isn't much fun :...

anyways... going for mission trip on thursday till saturday...
i was initially very looking forward to it... until the briefings took place...
and we suddenly seemed very unprepared... with children's programme to do, drama to prepare, bm to learn- cos' we have to speak in bm, pray in bm, worship in bm, tell jokes in bm, think in bm... basically bm-ize our entire life for 3 days...
hmm... and suddenly the threat of being chased out of the village by doing something culturally wrong seemed like a very real possibility :P...

if we hold on together

Diana Ross- If We Hold On Together
music from the not-so-original-soundtrack of The Land Before Time (that dinosaur cartoon we watched as kids)...

Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and i

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away

Words are swaying
Somebody is praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and i

When we are out there in the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark we'll feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For You and I

yay... another nice disney song from the gold( good+old= gold) days when we were kids...
okay, correct me if i'm wrong, but this IS a disney movie rite?

mission: finish that bottle

i'm on selectives now...
selectives is that "brilliant" idea of IMU to waste one month of our time studying a subject that we supposedly have the freedom to choose from... which in reality isn't, cos' the choice of subject is pending availability.... so of course, what happens is that the kiasu-er ppl in class rush to the front to pass up the forms while "cooler" ppl at the back benches like ME, stay cool and wonder what's the rush all about...
all this of course happens until selectives actually start and you're stuck wif a crappy subject like BS... which is Behavioural Studies... haiz... one month of crappy classes... i which i could say more about the crappy classes... but... it's crappy...
oh yeah, add to that it's thot by crappy lecturers... not crappy as in funny crappy, but boring and senseless crappy...

ehhneeway...
to make the best of a boring selective, one of our projects is to modify behaviour... our own...
so the behaviour i'm modifying is to increase my fluid intake: read- Drink more Water...
so anyway, i'm now carrying a bottle of water around wif me now... yeah... crappy rite?

disney club

haha... there seems to be some high demand for a DISNEY CLUB...
hmm... i imagine if there really was such a club, everyone must dress up as a disney character...
the agenda of each meeting would be to sing disney songs... haha, that would be weird... a bunch of ppl sitting in mpH 5 singing disney songs... hahahaha... super weird...
and then for special activity to get money for the DISNEY FUND we can do busking in petaling street singing disney songs...
and then we organize annual trips to DISNEYLANDs around the world with the money we manage to collect :P...
haha.. i think a Disney Club would rock...
and imagine... this would the the perfect "family" club... cos' even when you get old you can still bring your kids along...

*reality check- after 2 meetings no one will come cos' it'd get pretty boring...

happiness

when you're still young, you think that stuff and people can make you happy...
which probably explains why most of our birthday wishes and christmas wish lists mostly encompass stuff that we hope people would give us...
i used to want an mp3 player, a new handphone, a digi cam, a lap top, new shoes, clothes... cool stuff that i still wish i could get for birthdays and christmases..haha...
but then as i discovered when i first got my first phone, that fun stuff stays fun... only for a while... some longer than others but eventually, the novelty fades and stuff just remains... stuff...
so as i get older... i begin to have new wish lists for birthdays and christmases...
things like... dinner with family and friends at home, mamak to talk over stuff, simply put... just time to spend with ppl close to my heart...
haha, not that i would reject stuff from the first list, or not that stuff from the first list aren't wanted anymore... but... well, sometimes what you want is just some time to "be" instead of time to "do"...

oh yeah, the reason for this post i cos i'm really looking forward to the singapore trip that my family is taking over the weekend for my bro's graduation... strange huh? i'm so looking forward to a weekend away from church... in fact, i think looking forward to this holiday after renal today beats any "post-exam" cc celebration i've looked to ever...
heh, maybe i'm just getting old...

forgotten blog

u know... it's really kinda irritating when u just thot of something that you wanna blog... and then halfway between waiting for the "new posts" page to load and listening to music, it totally slips my mind wat i was thinking about... it's quite like going upstairs to get something from my room, and by the time i've climbed 1 flight of stairs to my room, i've forgotten wat it was that i wanted to get (i hope this isn't indicative of some hidden pathology)...
hmm...
ok, i think i've got it.... i've recently gone on a spate of disney song downloading (which i know is bad, but i've nth much else to do to occupy myself when i don't want to study, maybe i'll just delete them after exams and look for someone who has a disney CD)
but anyway... i'm not talking about piracy... i'm talking about disney songs... there's something about disney songs that're different from other songs... i can't really put my finger down on it... maybe it's the fact that disney songs bring up memories of disney movies from childhood... times when we didn't have to worry about EXAMS (like RENAL this friday), or when our biggest worry was, wat game we were going to play with our cousins at our grandma's house... you know... things like these are generally grouped under the heading [HAPPY THOUGHTS] and stored somewhere back in our cerebral cortex and stimulated to be released by the thoughts gland upon stimulation by some nostalgic stimulation like songs, ppl, smells, places....
oh yeah, anyway... disney songs rox... like this one...

At The Beginning- Pirated soundtrack from the animated feature Anastasia
Sung by Richard Marx and Donna Lewis

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep going on....
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna going
Love is river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you.

i would have loved to put the music codec here, but as of yet, i can't find any disney music codecs... and i don't really know how to put up songs on the page...let me know if you know how...

futbal

ok... for all practical purposes the only reason, or rather 2 reasons i'm blogging is cos' i just got back to library and i'm looking for excuses not to start studying again... ANDDD... bcos' su chuen dropped by to say that my posts are short... which they are-lah...
ok, i'm so tempted to end this post right here and go look for something else to do...
heheh... eehhhnneeeway...
its not really that i'm so sooooo-per busy that i don't have time to post... more like, nothing much to post about...
anyway... since its world cup season, and since i actually have been spending a lot of my time watching matches or sleeping to recover from watching matches, i think the world cup deserves some mention at least in my blog...
i was quite disappointed that ghana failed to beat brazil... i mean... really... even though, like they're the world champions and ghana is some noob team from africa... but for some reason, i was really hoping that they would defy the odds, bookies, irritatingly noisy brazilian supporters who only support brazil cos' they're winning and many other defyable things to, maybe against all hope, defeat brazil... or at least score a goal-lah...
well, they came close, and they provided some entertaing football... not really by playing it, but by allowing brazil to play it on them... and not for lack of trying, but well... really bcos' of some defending naivete and just plain noobness in front of goal-lah...
but well, it actually really is, quite a imba situation... i mean like, if you've played in your umpteenth world cup, won quite a few, and making it to the quarter's is no big deal for you cos' you actually KNOW what to do... quite frankly, it's not easy for some newcomer who's never played in the world cup or played against a mega professional team in a KNOCKOUT competition(which is way different from playing in a group)... well, life's unfair... the winner's will keep on winning, and the losers will keep on losing...

oh, by the way... in all practicality, germany looks good to win this world cup if they make it past argentina, failing which, argentina will win, failing which... italy(who alredi have a free ticket to the semis) will beat brazil in the semis and proceed to life the world cup... but not brazil... no way... cos' brazil... brazil musn't win... it'll somehow upset the balance of good and evil in the world and precipitate a cataclysmic sequence of events that'll bring about the end of the world...
yah... brazil musn't win... :)

normal life

heh... i'm back to normal life... at least for now... no exams, no busy-ness...
normal life... kinda... :P

stressd

exams on wednesday... haiz... its been quite a while since i've been stressed...

home

yay!!! my sister's coming home :) :)... looking fwd to seeing her after 3 months... yay, yay!!!
><
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YAY!! =>

troublesomeness-ities

haiz... my car jammed up last nite...
i had just sent Ding back to vista C and was just about to turn out when suddenly the car refused to budge...
when i revved up the engine and forced it, the car moved... but it dragged the back left tyre...
so anyway, to cut the long story short and so as to not display my ignorance of car knowledge...
it appears that the back left tyre has jammed up... i think it's either the brake locking up or something's stuck between the brake and the tyre...
well, it means that i'm car-less for some time... hopefully not too long...

praise you in the storm

Casting crowns- Praise You in the Storm

I was sure by now God you would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
that it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear your whisper through the rain,
I'm with you
and as your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And i'll praise you in this storm
and i will lift my hands
that you are who you are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
you hold in your hand
you never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
you heard my cry you raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find you
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear you whisper through the rain
I'm with you
and as your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

hmm... i've been searching around for a change of song and i finally found something that not only sounds quite good, but is quite meaningful... on the other hand, i'm not going thru a really tough time now, but i think this is a song that needs quite some amount of faith and strength to sing when i actually DO go thru "storms"...

mona lisa

mona lisa weeps... haha, this cool pic was taken a couple of weeks back during the singing competition audition while we were "enjoying" the singing :P... i squeezed a bit of those flourescent tubes onto mona lisa and walah!!... picture courtesy of vickie's camera...

long last lap

heh... today was at cendol with wencheng and mok...
n then wencheng mentioned that almost a month after camp it seemed as if i still hadn't recovered from it...
hmm... in a way i realized its quite true... almost everyday i'm out... i'm mostly at home only to sleep... even my mum is starting to tell me not to treat home like a hotel... haiz... wish i didn't have so much to do...
on the other hand though... it doesn't really seem like much... it's only that class and church are starting to pull at the amount of time i'm available... hmm... there's an outing this weekend, and for the next few weeks i'm not at home during the weekends cos' of practice of the chinese song competition... and joyce is leaving(ok this doesn't affect the amount of time i'm free, but it's worth mentioning :P) heh, i suppose i mainly cos' during the weekdays i'm busy at school, at during the weekends when i'm supposedly "resting", i'm actually busier... haiz....
mok did say that this week is the last lap... but, heh... this is one looooooooooooooooooooooong last lap...
but as some girl hermit likes to say... i'm always busy for church... haiz... sometimes wish i wasn't so much... ;) i'd rather be busy for God...

toothpaste

i brushed my teeth just now...
i used a toothbrush and toothpaste...
my toothpaste promises me healthy teeth and gums and gives a minty flavour...
after i eat my breakfast i won't taste the minty flavour anymore...
i don't brush my teeth at night...
will i still gave healthy teeth and gums?

heh... can that be considered a poem? anyway... having CG today... spent last nite n this morning trying prepare something... in the end God reminded me it's not about how interesting i make the sharing or what i share about... it's about the Person i'm sharing about...

Who am i

Who Am I- Casting Crowns

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

if your volume is on... and you're not deaf... you would have heard this song playing on my site...
cool song about a cool God :P

sleepy

i'm actually quite sleepy and tired even though its only 11am... maybe its cos' of yesterday's 48 hour day...
yesterday i was out for almost 48 hours.... okay okay... let's rewind back to thursday...
onthursdayiwasinclassinthemorningafterwhichiwentbackhome...ikindatriedtotakealongnapfrom2-6pm...whichkindadidn'treallyworkoutcos'ikeptonwakinguptocontinuedoingmyrubik'scube(whichisnowsittinginminheng'scarcos'ileftitthereinmyrushinthePalaceofTheGoldenHorses..butmore onthatlater)soanyway...startingfrom830pmtillabout930pmliddattherewassundayworship...followingwhichthere wasthefranticpackingofchurch'sPAequipment,instruments...&tc,&tctothePalaceoftheGoldenHorsesforour church's30thanniversarywhichendedatabout12am...followingwhichwasthefranticsettingupofequipmenttill about3am...followingwhichwassomesortofsleep/naptillabout7amwhenthefranticcontinuationofsetting up/finetuning/gettingPAstufftoworktillabout10am...followingwhichwasfinallytherealevent-the30thanniversary...whichwasfranklyquiteanti-climacticconsideringallthebuilduptoit...butanyway...afterthatwaslunchandrushingbackhomeatabout3pm... followingwhichhavingexhaustedallremainingenergysourcesidroppedonthesofaand"died"foraboutan hour...onlytobeinterruptedbyaseriesofphonecallsbutanyway...ikindadidgetaboutanhour'ssleep...
afterwhichwastheChineseMusicComposingCompetitionsemifinals...itonlystartedat8pmbutwemet forpracticeatabout4somethingandthentriedouttheinstrumentsatthatchurchatabout5...andthenlepaked until8...heh...wewerelinedupfor1stand6thsongof7songsthatnite..the1stsongifeltwasatotaldisasterconsidering
mylousyplayingofthesynthy(whichissoooo....difficulttoplayconsideringthatthekeysyoudon't
wannapressgetpressedandthekeysyouwannapressjustdon'twannagodown...yeah,ihadtoplaythesynthy forthatsongcos'thepianowasslightlyoutoftune)anyway...the6thsongcameoutquitewellithink...so
anyway...amazingly..bothoursongsgotchosenforthefinals..yay!!XD...
sothatwasquitelikeanamazingendingtothe48hourday...yeah...soafterdinneratabout10something,
finallyreachedbackHOMEat11,almost12...andfinallyreallygottosleepafterthe48hourday...

heh... here's to the long... long... lonng day that just passed... feeling sleepy now...

Rubik's CUBE

i skipped YA today... actually had time to go, and actually was considering going seriously... but.. heh, guess the thought doesn't really count that much...
anyway... today was kinda "different" day... hung out wif minheng n wencheng.. went KL to look for confetti.. cos' he was gullible enuff to say "yes" to them to buy stuff:P...
anyway... the shop where we bought the stuff was super cool... it had all those games you played as a kid in primary school... you know.. those rubber snakes, frogs and lizards...
and then there're those card games that we used to play like the "soldier", "aladdin" and "fish" ... there.. those where each card is bigger then the next... but the the smallest card beats the biggest card... well... if you don't know, then u had a pretty miserable childhood...

then oh... i discovered this... Rubik's Cube...
i didn't know it was called that of course... the description on the package with lousy english only said "Magic Cube"... but through the wonders of the internet i discovered it's true identity :P...
but haha... this is one cool game/gadget/IQ increaser... i'm positive that by the time i've mastered it, my IQ would have increased 70%... yeah, planning to get one for JuLiang too when he like get's bored and has nothing to do... don't know when minheng's gonna go get it though...

X-cavated

phew.... it's been one hectic week... and i don't see it getting better with practice, YA n preparing for 30th anniversary...
heh... on another hand... the reason for my hecticness last week- CF camp, was quite an experience...
it was actually something like my first time organizing this sort of camp thingy where you need to look for place to stay, transport, food... and most importantly, money to make everything run...all the stuff u normally take for granted in a camp...
i think it was an encouraging experience to see prayers being answered and during the camp even though some minor problems popped up: like the shirt material being too thin, scheduling difficulties... it was cool to.... like, really see things work out...

time stop

you know... there are times in life when u think time stops or should stop cos' it seems like you have just so much to do...
at times you think that so much is happening in your life that you think the world should start revolving around you...
some times all you wish is for a moment of silence when you can stop to listen...
and then most of the time wat you need isn't more time but a moment in eternity(haha, oxymoron)...

heh... i know i hadn't been blogging recently, so it was kinda nice this morning to go thru my frens blogs, rememberin that life doesn't revolve around my small little world only...

aversion

hmm... i don't know why this is... but i actually have a certain degree of aversion towards CF in IMU actually... i'm not really sure why this is..it's not like it's evil or anything...
maybe it's bcos' my batch never really fit into the CF thingy... maybe cos' the many IMU activities just made CF... just another IMU activity...
or maybe its just that... it's distant... like looking at the dudes outside my house building the new highway... you know what they're doing... they're actually quite near you, but yet... it's like looking thru the window... you're not really "there"...
anyway... this friday is CF camp, and today i'm supposed to hold some sort of a camp briefing...
heheh... n there isn't really much to talk about anyway... but well... we'll see...

reload

heh... it's been a while... a very long while...
it hasn't really been cos' i haven't had time to update... things were and still are a little busy, but not so much so that i hadn't had any time to play computer or do anything else... it was more of...
not knowing wat to blog about... blogger's block?
heh, anyway... just came back from retreat... a rather inspirational one...
hmm... i suppose you can call these "hilltop" moments...
i think the biggest thing i took back from the retreat was learning to shutup and just... like, learning to "chill" with God...
i don't think i've ever, really thought of God being so real and personal before... but yeah, it was cool...
strangely though, on the way back home as we were sending ps. thomas chin n wife back to airport, we got "extra" lesson on BGR... heh, and i think these were the first BGR lessons that actually "spoke" to me...
still... it's been a while since i felt like this, and can't really remember if i had ever felt like this before... but it's nice to be able to "reload" my christian experience...

good friday

heh... it's good friday tomoro... i've actually nth much to post, cos' tomoro's endo and i've been studying... sort of... between hours of o2jamming.... problem is that endo is just sooooooo light... and i hardly feel any urge to study...
i really really hope the paper doesn't kill me...
but yeah, anyway... it's good friday.. :P heh... i probably would post more if good friday was next week but heh... btw o2 jam and studying... i'm pretty much not thinking about anything else...
hmm... that's bad...
it's reduced good friday to just a bare mention on my blog...

good day

heh... in a very good mood today...
last nite took the girls out to mamak... and before that had 2 cool games...
AND i got no class until 4-6... then nth again... haha... nice... it'll be cool if everyday was like this... but then, i would then take it for granted:P...

fear

you know how you just freak out when you're around some ppl...
i seem to have this weird fear of my tutor.. Dr. Achike... he's ok-lah... a bit on the strict and fierce side, but for some reason... i just stress out everytime i meet him... whether its taking results or during clinical hours...
heh... today i had him for clinical skills.. and it was history taking... aih... yeah, i guess i majorly screwed up in front of him and got nailed... but then again, it was half cos' i didn't prepare and half cos' of just that sheer stress of meeting him... i seem to just can't think around him...
haih... sux... dono how i'll tahan in seremban around worse dr.s

post 101

hmm...
i'm supposed be studying... but its hard... cos' i'm sleepy after coming back from yi bing's surprise birthday party... heheh, birthday parties are cool :P... but having to study after that really kinda pulls you back down.. aih.. and its midnite alredi... faster faster...
aih... and i've since yesterday just started reading a new manga- Blade of the Immortal... the art is super cool cause it's super detailed... even the "cartoon" frames are as detailed as the "serious" ones... it rox... only problem is download speeds are slow... even though i'm grabbing from IRC...
sleepy... and i still got football match at 230 later... and have to wake up early to take my classmate chinpei to bank... =_=... hmm... the next 24hrs are gonna be quite long...
i wonder if i should stay up for football...

good friday

come and see, come and see, come and see
the king of love
see the purple robe and crown of thorns he wears
soldiers mock, rulers sneer as he lifts the cruel cross
lonely and friendless now he climbs towards the hill

we worship at your feet, where wrath and mercy meet
and a guilty world is washed with love's great stream.

for us he was made sin, help me to take it in
deep wounds of love cry out, father forgive
we worship the lamb who was slain

come and weep, come and mourn
for your sin that pierced him there
so much deeper then the wounds of thorn and nail
all our pride, all our greed, all our foulness and shame
and the Lord has laid our punishment on Him
we worship at your throne where wrath and mercy meet.

easter and good friday is coming up :) and this poem kinda reminds me how come we can call a day where we commemorate some innocent dude's murder and yet call that day good.

ball

hmm... i'm kinda decided against going for ball alredi, not just cos' of the cost... but i'm kinda wondering... why ppl go for ball at all...
the cons-
95 bucks!!!
more time and money to get clothes and try to look good...
transport for the day itself...
when you're actually at the ball there's nth much to do except... eat? take pictures?

the pros-
this is my last ball.. uhh, what makes you think i want to go for ANY balls for that matter?
look good? haha... i alredi look good :P
umm... make frens?? haha... that's a joke...
hehe, seriously... wat are the pros of going for ball? oh things maybe would be different if i had a girlfren... but then again, maybe not...

the point is... in a Malaysian context, why do we go for balls, other than to imitate our western counterparts? after all, if you wanna get together with frens, take pictures... stuff like that... just... have dinner together or something like that... go mamak... i dunno, isn't that why they have balls in the west... cos' they don't have mamak...
hehe, if you wanna have dinner and look good then just dress up and go some high class restaurant... aih, come on... i alredi HAVE to dress up everytime i go IMU, so why should i take ONE more night out to uhh... dress up?

bad day

Where is the moment we need at the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

(yeah...)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

heh... can't remember if i've posted this song b4.. it isn't really that meaningful(probably cos' i don't know what most of the lines mean)... but it's a nice song to listen to when you're down..

(: this song is dedicated to anyone who's had a bad day.. having a bad day... or just now that they're gonna hav a bad day... :P oh, and also especially to that girl who's had a reli BAD day and is kinda down now... cheer up k? :P

back to school

heh... today was the first day after 2 months of break...
haiz... i'd forgotten how bad IMU lecturer's accents are... today Nilesh was... BAD!!
between the hypophyseal-hypothalamal tract and who knows what, i was torn between sleeping on the first day of the semester, of the year and... umm... paying attention?... well, i tried... but i'm not sure if half of wat went into my head is correct...
anyways... there's lots to look forward to this semester and some dilemma's to resolve as well... like wat does IMU Ball hold for me, that i would part with 100bucks for a nite of... umm... fun? frenship? heh... give me an dotA package and mamak after that anyday...
anyway... slowly slowly lah.. it's only the first day of school anyway...
but yeah... it's back to studies... oh well...

beh tahan

eh... cannot tahan lah... life without phone... it's worse than life without food... ahhhh....
i thought i had a "temporary" phone, when leena offered me wengteik's phone... then... ahhh.... yesterday i discovered i lost my simcard.... ahhhh.... so now need to wait till monday to see if get to keep old no. or have to get a new one...
ahhh.... beh tahan...

i now understand that the most effective fast for young people isn't to fast food(as in, don't eat food)... but to "fast handphone"... i tell you... if the "fast" deal is to pray everytime you think of handphone when you're "fasting" from handphone...
wah... even if one day fast handphone will surely pray like... more than 24 times in one day...
whereas if you "fast" food... then will only think when hungry... which is like... 3,4,5 times a day?
so the most effective fast for youth is HANDPHONE fast!! hah... and u "suffer" more... which makes the prayer more earnest.... and so only those "serious" ppl who really want wat they pray for to happen will DARE to take the HANDPHONE FAST!!

wahhh... beh tahan... i'm now on like a "forced HANDPHONE FAST!!"... tak jadi-lar... suffering...

wat's important

school starts next week... i have 107 bucks and a couple of cents in my wallet...
i have no phone, so the only way ppl can contact me now is by house phone and email...
it's weird... but it's a good thing actually...
it helps to sort out wat's important enuff for me to spend money on, and wat i can actually skimp on...
having no phone also helped me realize how "attached" i am to my phone... cos' my phone is about the first thing i see in the morning... the last thing i see b4 i sleep... and 1 of the 3 things i carry with me everywhere (+wallet n keys)... heh... rupanye i CAN get thru life without phone...
heh... n i've also realized that really i don't own ANYTHING at all... and that offering isn't about how much WE GIVE TO GOD.. but that EVERYTHING we own belongs to GOD, so we're actually just RETURNING wat we've has been "borrowed" to us... uhh... or is it "lent"... :P

hmm.... no phone is actually quite tough though...

i'm back... again...

woah... i'm soo tired.... this has been a killer weekend...
i dun think i've ever been so tired... i dun think i can tahan camps anymore...
especially like when i feel like my energy level is less than negative after the camp...
...
but yeah... camp was good... i feel we made good ties wif some kids... so hopefully that goes somewhere :)
still, i'm back... and i've got about a week b4 school starts :)... hehe... weird, huh... looking forward to school? well, i think you would too after about 2 months like that of doing nth...
but... alamak... that means starting studying again...heh, and i think that this is the only real serious break i'm gonna get until who knows when... lol... hope its soon ;)

i'm a diver:)

heh... i'm back... and i'm not the same anymore...
i'm now a QUALIFIED OPEN WATER PADI(Professional Assoc. of Divin Instructors) DIVER...
haha... yay... kinda over spent in sabah, but i feel it was worth every cent of it...
so what difference does being a diver make in my life?
hmm... haha, for all the money i've paid- actually nth much...cos' there's nth to dive in, in KL...
but.. it's cool to be a diver... for one thing.. i've got this cool card :P... but really, it's nice to know you get to see stuff normal ppl don't get to see... and get to do stuff normal ppl don't get to do...

besides that i've got this light headed feeling for a couple of days alredi... think it's probably cos' of my body getting used to the nitrogen...
oh well... now that i'm back... i'll get to rest...
b4 going off for gospel camp... which is in 3 days time... hmm... have lots to cover in that time...

haha.. and yeah, the previous post was a copy n paste wan from a comment i posted in juliang's blog...

water

i realized that ppl are like rivers of water... just like water takes the path of least resistance, so also we prefer living life in the way of least problems and "resistance"... so we go thru life trying to "invoke" as little problems as possible, think about bad stuff as little as possible... but then i realized that as christians we shouldn't avoid problems bcos' it's only thru trials and problems that we grow... and if we're not growing you're falling backwards...
heh, i realized this cos' there're 3 frens whom i see "falling backwards" cos' they're choosing the "easy" way out... hmm... pray hard for those who're falling out of our faith bcos' they don't wanna take the harder way...

no more money

well... it was fun while it lasted... the thought of getting money for nothing...
but well... seems like the site died... now when i try to access my account at gpromote.com, i get directed to some other site... well, it was fun while it lasted.... too bad...
haha... thanks to all those who went and clicked my link to contribute that 0.5 cents per click :P... haha, not that i have it anymore... but it's the thought that counts...
so i now know who i can depend on to click to save my life :P...

new skin

hey... this is actually a blogspot template skin... but i think it looks kinda nice anyway, although i seriously think it makes this blog look "standard"... on the other hand... actually this is a pretty "standard" blog... so... haha, let's join the "standard" blog club...
well... enjoy the standard look... it'll probably be around for a couple of days, unless i forget to change it b4 i go off diving on wednesday... which would mean it would stick for a week or more...

oh ya... that means no chat box... hmm... shud i twiddle wif the template to insert it... feels abit mafan-lah...

re: sunday school songs

heh... ashley posted an reply to the previous post which i thought would be interesting to reply here instead of the small little box for normal replies...

Ashley:
i get the feel of 'coolness' singing this song while being sent to prison...but...prison??? sailling home?? PRISON??

zhiyong:
haha... my sunday school student... this is where the coolness just begins... if you're in prison and singing this song, you're no longer sailing home to a home on earth, but a Heavenly home :)

yay!! sunday school songs rox :P

sunday school songs

haha... i suddenly feel like singing sunday school songs...
sunday school songs are fun~! and if you actually read the words, they're quite meaningful...
but for now... sunday school songs are fun~! :P

With Christ in the vessel
we can smile at the storm
Smile at the storm
Smile at the storm

With Christ in the vessel
we can smile at the storm
As we go sailing home...homehomehome

Say-sailingsailing-ling, say-sailingsailing-ling home
Say-sailingsailing-ling, say-sailingsailing-ling home
With Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm
AS WE GO SAILING HOME~!

haha...fun, but meaningful too... with christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm as we go sailing HOME :) this would be a cool song to sing if you like get sent to prison or something :P

inspirational stuff

lately i've read and heard quite some inspirational and thought provoking stuff lately...
juliang's blog makes you think again of God's reality in everyday life, siewlian's new blog has this piece on Jesus' crucifixion, yesterday my dad read out isaiah 1 which is about how Israel keeps on hurting herself by rejecting God... its good to read and think about God outside of quiet time... reminds me of where i actually stand wif God not just on a daily basis, but on an hourly or minute-ly basis...

i've realized that during holidays, it's actually harder for me to focus on God cos' i'm so busy trying to find stuff to do to occupy myself, trying to find pleasure for my ownself...
whereas during exams strangely because i'm so busy, that i have to find time for God, that i find myself actually closer to God, because i'm trying to find pleasure for God...

it's actually a bit frightening that i take God's presence for granted so easily... i wonder sometimes what he thinks of me... losing sight of the path not because the going get's tough, but because the going got easy... heh, so maybe satan's greatest weapon isn't to force me off the path to heaven, but to lure me away...

gpromote

heh... okay, let me mention first off that i'm not an advocator of internet spam or internet cash making sites... in fact, i detest them... it just happens that i'm free, and jenern introduced me to this site which supposedly let's you make money just by clicking on them sites... well, i don't know how true it is... but well.... it's free and i'm free, so with time to spare i thought why not...
so well, to share the fun...and the cash:P, click here... and join... so that YOU... can help ME... make some money out of thin air...
with my fingers crossed i promise to share "some" of the money (if it does materialize) with you, with you DO click... come-lah... click and join... then you will be known as my downline :) and anyway... the ppl who read this blog are pretty free ppl rite? haha....

back....

i'm back....after a whole week away....
haha... travelling round crashing in on ppl's houses all over rox man...
in muar stayed over in jenern's house(managed to play 1 dotA game online:P)
in seremban stayed in callista's house... woah, her house is like.. major big... as big as stephen's house... it's like... big enuff to have a pond in the house... then got like 3 or 4 guest rooms, maid get one room, each family member got one room... and the rooms are so big they make the beds look small.. and those are queen and king size beds...

i'm fat now i tell u... i've never eaten so much over such a long period...
my pants can barely fit me... i'm so going to cut down on food...

muar

haha... i'm posting from muar :)....
muar is.... heh, empty would be saying it nicely...
we went round muar yesterday, and actually besides doing nothing, there's nothing to do...
it's kinda like travelling for 2 and a half hours to go to sri petaling... lol..
it's fun though... cos' i'm on holiday...

holiday

haha... it's 7:05 in the morning... and just WHAT am i doing up so early at this unearthly hour...
heh, it's been quite a while... but i'm going for holiday :)... bus leaves at 830... so going to the lrt station at 715.... crazy-ah... but for the sake of holiday... even waking up at 530 would be ok...
heh, will be in muar later today... then a couple of days later seremban, then sitiawan, then ipoh... yeah... actually going round the girls houses eating and playing-lah.... hopefully it'll be fun xD... but yeah, holidays ARE fun... bye guys.... enjoy your drudgery of life :P...

new sound system

woah... i just installed a new sound system into my computer... and woah...
wow... huiyoh... walauweh...
it's so good it's giving me goosebumps...
and to think that's its actually not a new sound system:P...
i actually took and ancient mini compo from my room, connected two philips speakers which i used to use for the tv, and plugged it into my comp... and woah...
suddenly i've got altec lansing quality sound coming out...
i rox man...
haha, this is so majorly cool... for the first time i can hear the bass for all my mp3s... and the sound's as clear as glass...
woah... this rox man...
i should have done this wayyyy earlier...
ironically, i know i'll start taking this for granted within a couple of days...
haha... but for now... woah, i'm gonna run thru all my mp3s...
this rox man...
haha, i wonder what starcraft sounds like now...
haha, i'm still in awe that i can hear the bass from my comp...
this is already one of the better days of my hols.. :P

achievements

yay... i'm proud to say that today i woke up early :)... 7 o'clock sommor-ah...
wah... went jogging just now and came back after an hour... wah... so proud...
heh, well... so much for that... now the rest of the day is gonna be spent playing computer and umm... finding stuff to do...

on another note... yesterday was an almost perfect sunday...
the skies were blue, the birds were singing... i woke up early (again)...
didn't have sunday school lesson to prepare... had great worship in church... didn't fall asleep during sermon... scored a couple of goals during futsal... heh.. yeah, great day yesterday...

strange isn't it how dependent our happiness is on stuff we can't control...

thursday

today's thursday... i thought it was friday alredi...
heheh... for some reason i felt happy... almost as if i had "gained" on day...
than after thinking about it, i realized that it didn't really matter for me... cos' even if i had one more day... i still don't have anything to do... ahhh... so bored...boredededededed
wat can i do dodododododo....
no games to play... no "project" to do...
hrmhrmhrmhrm... bored bored bored... and no one's around...ahh....
heheh... i'm actually extending this post... so as to seem like i'm doing something...
haih... so bored... nothing to do or look forward to....

chinese new year and obligations

hi, happy chinese new year to all :)...
haha, you know that a webpage is dying when new year greetings start getting short and posting begins to feel like an obligation :P
but, for now... HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!! :)

all for love

All for love

All for love a Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love heavens cried
For love was crucfied

Oh how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive
If only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me

Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

Let me sing all for love
I will join the angel song
Ever holy is the Lord
King of Glory
King of all

All for a love a Saviour prayed
Abba Father have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the Cross draw man to You

Shout unto God

The enemy has been defeated
And death couldn't hold You down
We're gonna lift our voice in victory
We're gonna make Your praises loud

Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
Shout unto God with a voice of praise
Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
We lift Your name up
We lift Your name up

was just listening to this... normally wouldn't have posted this post, but then again... i've really nothing much to do and i was listening to this...
on the other hand i remember a time when i used to post about "spiritual" stuff... heh, can't remember the last time i did... i think i'm in a decline spiritually though i'm on holiday... or maybe it IS because i'm on holiday... hmm... is it still all for love?

not much ado about nothing

hmm... i kinda expecting it would end up like this..
but here i am... nth much to do... nth much i wanna do...
hmm... wat to do.. wat to do...
oh well... the boredom is only for a while... hopefully-lah...
bored...

addicted to mediocrity

i feel strongly that malaysians are addicted to mediocrity...
of course... this comment is coming after i've just watched the malaysian doubles pair lose AGAIN in the finals of some badminton final...
heh... and i heard the malaysian commentator say something like, at least we got to the finals... okay, so maybe he didn't say something like that... but he certainly implied it everytime we started losing...
or maybe it's just the sucky commentary... my mum is convinced that malaysia will start winning stuff if only the commentary would improve...

my wrong

hmm...this week has been really fun... not to mention expensive, but that's for another post...
i've been spending the whole week enjoying myself:)... it's fun, but this morning when i woke up i realized that i'd forgotten tons of stuff that i had to do...
yibing reminded me that there was no devotion prepared for this saturday,
sunday school lesson is still half baked... i suddenly remembered that i was supposed to call my youth class for TU... okay, so it wasn't suddenly remembered... i had been reminded of it the entire week, but kept on procrastinating... i suppose that's the story of this entire week...
have kept on pushing on stuff i could do to the future so i could enjoy the present...

hmm... my fault...

insults

yesterday i was kinda out the whole day...
lunch with the girls and then dotA and dinner with the guys...heh, maybe it's just me... but i noticed that when i hanging out with guys... conversation almost inevitably swerves towards someone getting insulted or to put it nicely... criticized...yeah, maybe it's all as a joke... but, wonder why guys get so much "kick" out of making fun of someone not as good as they are... whether be it in speech, dressing, dotA or any abilities whatsoever... hmm... not that girls don't make fun of other girls or guys... but... conversations tend to put ppl down less... hmm... or maybe its just me:P

free

haha... it's so cool to be able to wake up in the morning and have.... NOTHING to do :P

it's over

heh... yeah... exam's are finally over... hopefully :)...
yup... so i'm off for until... umm... haha, i don't know when... that's nice :)

still not done?

haih... still 2 more days of exams...
this is the longest week of my life... just wishing that it would just end and i'd be able to go one with normal life...

hmm.... on another note... i have a whole list of stuff i wanna start doing after exams...
go swimming(it's been ages)
hopefully have lunch wif daniel,joyce n leena :)
go MPH n salvation to read/buy some books
go for a "classic" play- one of those shakespeare thingys
listen to MPO play
go visit juliang... or at least get outside his room...

yup... i know not all of this will happen... but it's nice to have something to look forward to these days :)...

update

wow... it's been a super long time since i last updated...reasons being that after christmas i was in camp... and the week after that i was in KKB...i thot it appropriate that i should update before i go "away" again for another week... for exams...
oh well... i suppose i should remove the christmas bg...