something to look forward to

in life... in order to be happy, one must have something to look forward to...

like for most of us... after the end of a long and tiring week... we look forward to friday and the weekend...

but i realized this morning, that just having the weekend itself isn't much... there must be something to be done to look forward to... an event... something to do... something to eat... someone to meet... 

haha.. i haven't thought about what i'm looking forward to this weekend... but being able to do nothing seems nice... lol... unless someone has more interesting stuff to suggest? (=

ugly

heh.. competition can bring out the worst in you..

i remember on the first day in batupahat, DK briefed us for a while on life here...

most of us would remember him mentioning to us not to fight for portfolio cases cos' the cases are plentiful... and that he had heard of even boyfriend and girlfriends breaking up over cases...

hehe.. i laughed and thought... why would anyone want to fight over a case...

haha...

competition really can bring out the worst in you...

its third week...

and in surgery... because of the many "exclusion criteria" and because of the small number of patients...

there is an overwhelming struggle for each and every case...

some of us have been nice and given away cases to those who don't have...

some... try to hog and stuff like that...

well...

yeah i suppose its easy to be a batch of unity when your actions only affect your ownself... 

heh, not so easy when u have to fight over limited resources...

i'm not worried...

i still believe the cases will come...

somehow... :)

2nd week

heh.. 2nd week in batu pahat.. and feels like my second month...

too many reports.. portfolios...

and i haven't even started studying =_=...

heh.. on the other hand... just found a church to go to...

and i guess.. after sometime...i can get used to going on call almost every day...

haha.. after this, once a week on call is a piece of cake.. lol

otherwise.. i've just recoverd from a super-acute bout of AGE/food poisoning... after KO-ing for almost 10 hours last night...

well, thank God i'm ok now before starting the week again...

heh.. new week... aih.. hope to finish all my reports in time...

Batu Pahat

in batu pahat...

don't know whether i'm happy that i passed sem 9...

or whether i'm dreading the long hours in sem 10...

previously in s'ban.. "free" was if we didn't have any classes or if we left before lunch... or something like that...

heh.. how different...

in batu pahat.. "free" is if we don't have on call...

in surgery...

on call is from 7-11pm... 3 days a week=every other day... and i'm on call this weekend =_=

hahaha... today i'm off call... thank God internet's come on...

heh.. i guess i don't mind surgery...

its just the loooonnngggg hours...

but i suppose that's housemanship...

heh... yay.. 2 more hours left of my off call day...

i'm SOOOOO looking forward to sunday...

*the worst is yet to come... O&G on call is until 5am... 

O_o|||

T_T

short break

having a short break now...
so... till monday i'm having HOLIDAY!!.. haha.. miss this feeling...
today is stay at home day...
had been in penang and moving to batu pahat the previous few days... and before i knew it.. its friday.. heh.. my holiday's over before i even realized it began...

so anyway... tmr i'll be around.. and then... i'm gonna be back to batu pahat on sunday, starting my FINAL SEMESTER...
TFTD is right... its like a dream...

beginnings and endings

almost there... just an hour more of exams...

its not the end...

its not even the beginning of the end...

but this is at least the end of the beginning...

pseudo quarantine

i'm stuck in the library...

waiting for the last group to finish their exam...

actually i'm not quarantined... supposedly can go home...

but i have to wait until ss finish cos' hl needs to fetch her back...

and he doesn't want to wait alone...

so i'm bored here...

heh... unable to go home and sleep after exam... sien...

looking beyond exams

exams suck... quite frankly... they do... 

for many professions they represent the ultimate obstacle to the goal that lies ahead...

that is... Graduation

somewhere along the way i realized with a start that exams aren't actually an end to themselves...

although all through out our undergraduate years we prepare, slog and torture ourselves to prepare ourselves to this end... we actually don't do this for our exams...

because the exams aren't actually the purpose of this whole journey...

they are merely the ends to a means... which is to make us... 

good doctors...

i AM going to graduate...

this exam is merely a means to make me qualified enough...

because ultimately these exams don't matter that much...

they're just an obstacle impeding our view of what lies ahead..

a life as a doctor..

i'm no longer afraid... because i know what lies ahead... 

and when i look back i won't even remember this obstacle...

operasi teh kundur

the weather has been rather unpleasantly warm the past few days...

i suspect both due to exams as well as being physically hot...

so... to cool down... in more ways than one...

i decided to buy TEH KUNDUR

also known as winter melon tea...

when big obstacles come your way.. it helps to turn your attention to "lesser problems"

so i bought a 24 packet pack of teh kundur...

which only after i bought i realized i have less than a week to finish...

haha.. no problem.. i'll just increase my fluid intake...

but teh kundur is nice...

sorry if this post seems irrelevant... but exams are stressful times... 

and teh kundur helps in more ways than one...

bottoms up (=

half way

ok.. half way through...

i think i still can make it...

don't lose confidence...

don't lose focus now...

the exam is only now starting...

start game

Starting game in 5

4..

3..

2..

NO leaver please..

1..

heh...

started game yesterday with MEQ...

this opponent is super pro... gyne took first blood while everyone was still busy farming on medicine... the paeds took a triple, TRIple, TRIPLE kill!!!....The Scourge is Owning!!!

so far.. its 50-50 i think with some pity from the examiners i hope i can pass MEQ... tomoro OSPE is about mid-game when all the ITEMS will start coming out... hopefully the opponents items are not too pro... then there will be about almost a week before the end-game...

in that time we HAVE to farm out OUR items for the last push so that the SENTINEL can be victorious and we don't have to be leavers...

all the best... 

glhf...

don't leave... in this game literally... 

leavers are noob...

hope we ALL can make it through...

remake

remake, remake...

its not too late to remake...

stop dreaming.. wake up and start preparing...

9 more days...

still can make it.. don't regret later

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed

lost

lost and sien

Happy Chinese New Year

HAppy ChinesE neW Year!!

don't think so much... play hard now, study hard after this :)

the hero

unexpectedly he came..

flying in through the window uninvited...

all in the house was quiet... busy studying (or trying to)

and then... he ATTACKED!!!

quick reflexes saved me... enabling me to utilise

the DAGON!!

and the BURIZA!!

to obtain victory!!!

here lies the body of another fallen hero...

heh... just bored from studying... or trying to... lol

quiet at home

its been a lonely quiet couple of days at home since monday...

i've been leaving before my housemates are awake...

and when i'm back hl's alredi hidden in his room... 

feng ko is sleeping already... he's quite gg'd past few days due to some overwhelming septicemia i think... saw him briefly in school today...

oh ya... and there's jac... yeah... don't normally see her anyway.. lol

aih... wonder if this is bcos' of the exam season...

trying to keep an upbeat mood...

think i'm failing miserably...

i can't think of something to look forward to tmr...

look out, look ahead

today datuk huat mentioned during lunch that normal ppl look forward to the months of december, january and february... haha.. not us... those 3 months have been nightmare months for all of us since we started med school... always the Exam Finals months...

i guess its hard to keep on going strong when ur failings loom large in your face, 

and hope seems like the clouds far above that are out of reach...

but i suppose if we keep looking at the problem, the problem seems to grow bigger (kinda like how you can see the bacteria thru the microscope by looking longer... lol)

to break the cycle of exams and stress, i suppose maybe the only way is to look away...

look ahead to the good things in store after that... 

look out of the troubles we have now to the good things that have and are happening to us...

it's the best of times, it's the worst of times...

ironically it is during the best of our time.. when we're on holiday or in sem8... that we drift away from each other because we're so busy having fun...

and ironically it is during the worst of times...

during our exams... that we cling closer to each other and find strength in our friendship with each other because we need each other so much more...

try again

had been suffering from an acute bout of loss of confidence these past few days due to a Dato' comment...

coupled with late nights and early mornings and no afternoon naps...

add on a friendly patient that i had been talking to, who was supposed to go home who ended up fainting and delirious last night...

its been a tough couple of days...

ahh... its wednesday going on thursday...

exam stress is setting in...

and confidence is dropping low...

but well, 

i suppose if you want strength, God'll put you in a position of weakness so He can support you

2009

first day of 2009!!

yay!! another year gone by...

a new year to look forward to...

in case you didn't know... I'm sure u didn't...

2009 has been desginated (according to wikipedia)

International Year of Astronomy

International Year of Natural Fibres

International Year of Reconciliation

the coming year is going to be full of beginnings and endings...

ending seremban... beginning batu pahat...

and later... ending batu pahat... beginning work as a DOCTOR!! (hopefully)

ahh... which brings me back to studies =_=

a bit free

i'm actually quite free these few days before christmas...

i just spent about 15 minutes on je's blog thinking what STD baby means.. lol

and i'm home from the library after dinner..

i guess actually i AM quite free... just that there is this voice telling me to study while i still can before i run out of time when sem9 exams come... aihh...

otherwise... i've stopped using IE recently... i'm now using google Chrome :)

not for anything... just that couple of days ago there was a news report i came across on yahoo!

http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/null/111811

concerning some Major security flaws in IE... well... i was looking for something new to try out anyway... so i popped by google and downloaded Chrome... it looks quite good so far.. very minimalist... makes my screen look bigger than normal.. and yeah.. kinda fits vista... lol