fragrance

what is the most fragrant smell you've ever smelt?
we don't always notice smell as the most outstanding of senses, don't we? yet somehow, smells are(at least for me) able to bring back memories and feelings stronger than sight or hearing...

we see images from our every waking moment, our eyes often serve as the form of memory of which we store stuff, but seeing something rarely brings back memories...
hearing is slightly better, but at an age where almost everything can be recorded and played back, sometimes... too much music is really no good at all... there was a time when listening to my "Spirited Away OST" would bring back memories of the movie along with a certain buzz or feeling... same for my "Last Samurai OST"... but, now even though or rather because of "over-hearing", i can recall the movie even without the music... but the buzz or Spirited Away and the sad feeling of the Last Samurai is hard to find again...

i like the smell of rain... it still brings back memories so strongly partly because i can't control when i want to smell it... if it doesn't rain when i want it to there's nothing i can do about it...
it hadn't rained for quite a while, but it did yesterday...yeah, it rained...
the smell of rain mixed with mosquito coil smoke, brings back memories of childhood... cos' last time when i stayed in the army camp in sg besi there was lotsa mosquitoes... so i've been inhaling mosquito coil smoke quite alot since small:).. but yeah, it brings back memories of childhood... along wif a buzz :)

busy-ness vs. free-ness

i realized something... the busier i am, the more stuff i'm trying to do... but then like now when i'm on holiday when i have all the time in the world to do whatever i want, like got nothing to do...
it's really like whenever i'm studying sure have a lot of stuff to do in church n in IMU... but den once holiday that time, want to find things to do also hard-ah... its partly bcos' got too much time-lah, but then also bcos'... bcos liddat wan-lah...
its something like being online... when you're not studying u got no reason to go online, so u don't blog so much, don't chat until late at nite... but den when holiday, when REALLY got time to go online, u don't bcos' u finding other better stuff to do, like "da kei", write letters.. or just lazing around...
haih... paradox of life...

magdalene

this entire post is devoted to magdalene... all just about mag...
y? bcos' i feel sooooo guilty making her dowan 2 blog anymore...
sorry-ah magdalene, sorry-ah, sorry-ah.... its all my fault...
but, i thot of something... since some of us are super semangat at blogging,
but den others want to write but den if start own blog got nth much to write abt... i thot of creating a blog wif multiple writers... like can have me, daniel, magdalene, my sister, wengcheng, and anyone else who would want to join... but den the topic or title of the entire blog don't really know what to set about-lah... maybe TU or sunday school or something like that... the thought of doing something like the blog about thomas... dono.. maybe it'll turn out in2 sumthing like canaanyouthclass liddat...

oops... urm... supposed to be abt magdalene at first... now turn in2 dis... sorry-ah... :P
anyway, magdalene is a great girl... is just dat i'm sorry we bully her.... its all daniel's fault... ;)

tired

aiyoh... tired-lah...
it's like one of those lousy BM karangans where at the end you say... "Kami berasa letih tetapi gembira"...
yalah... today went out to play badminton in the morning at 10-1pm... and then i got an sms asking me if wan to play badminton wif IMU frens hailiang n ndrew from 3-6... wah.. being stupid as i am, of course hav to say yes-loh... n den go aldy of course they had to announce they had the bright idea of playing futsal... WAHH!!... insane-ah... of course, i'm still stupid so i says yes...
turns out it was a good decision after all... badminton wasn't that bad... besides the fact that i get whacked up as usual, but ok-lah :)... but futsal was good... i scored quite a few goals... but den all of us oso so "cha" oso expected-lah...

i did something really bad yesterday... which i really hope i don't do anymore... i really really hope.... hope.... i'm really tired of repeating the same thing over and over again.. God help me...

on the good side... or kinda good, i'm not in the viva list... which means i either failed super terribly or passed... heheh, wednesday will find out :)

audience of ONE

Big Daddy Weave- "Audience of One"

I come on my knees
To lay down before you
Bringing all that I am
Longing only to know you
Seeking your face
And not only your hand
I find you embracing me
Just as I am

And I lift these songs
To you and you alone
As I sing to you
In my praises make your home

To my audience of one
You are Father, and you are Son
As your spirit flows free,
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more
Has become my great reward
To see your kingdom come
And your will be done
I only desire to be yours,
Lord

So what could I bring
To honor your majesty
What song could I sing
That would move the heart of royalty
And all that I have
Is the life that you’ve given me
So Lord let me live for you
My song with humility

And Lord as the love song
Of my life is played
I have one desire
To bring glory to your name

To my audience of one
You are Father, and you are Son
As your spirit flows free,
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more
Has become my great reward
To see your kingdom come
And your will be done
I only desire to be yours,
Lord

And we lift these songs
To you and you alone
As we sing to you
In our praises make your home

To my audience of one
You are Father, and you are Son
As your spirit flows free,
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more
Has become my great reward
To see your kingdom come
And your will be done
I only desire to be yours,
Lord

*lyrics courtesy of christianrocklyrics.com

i got a christian rock CD for last christmas.. n this was the first track-lah... its a little sad, but somehow at times this christian stuff may seem a little too commercialized... just google anything christian and see what comes out...

in spite of what christian lyrics always sing of, we often think that WE are the audience to christian worship or music... we tend to say, this band isn't as good Jars of Clay, or the drummer sux, or the music is really terrible... but is what we think of the music really important?

after all, shouldn't the music be for God, not for us? aren't we all supposed to be participating in the worship of our God when we're listening to all christian rock, live worship, christian jazz... whatever... are we listening for entertainment or worshipping our God?

blanket

ok... the wierdest thing happend last nite... or rather this morning... uhh, sometime between the sunset of yesterday and sunrise of this morning-lah...
yeah, i was sleeping... so sleep sleep sleep...
den in the middle of the night feeling cold lah... so sub-conciously start feeling around for the blanket... feel feel feel..eh, cannot find? a bit wake up aldy, so start feeling on the floor around the bed... aik?? still dun have... so in the end i fully woke up and find find find, woik?? tak ada? open the door so that got a bit of light... weh, cannot be... reli dun hav wor... finally on the light...
WAHH!! too much man... i went to sleep without even knowing dun hav blanket... so in the end can't do n/ething n too lazy to go out of the room to find sommor, so hav to modify the bed sheet into blanket... haih, wat-lah...
den sommor dis morning ask who took my blanket all oso dono... mystery mystery... i reli tot got blanket when i was going to sleep that time... how can-lah...

uhh..holiday?

uhh.. in case anybody's wondering why i'm perpetually at the last lap but still not yet holiday...
i AM ON HOLIDAY!! jus dat didn't blog only :P... but it always happens... cos' when u've got so much other fun things to do, blogging just slides down the list of stuff u hav to do...

oh,yeah... the downside to enjoying yourself too much is that i'm now broke... super broke-man...
n yesterday sent phone to repair... i'm reli hoping that warranty will cover dmg n i don't hav to pay a cent... :)

last lap

last lap!! SAQ over, OSPE tomoro... den HOLIDAY!! yay!! :) but den actually today feel like holiday :P
All the more reason to buck up!! Last lap, yes... sprint to the finish!

I have often dreamed, of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back, I can go the distance

And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its' harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
I will search the world, I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms...

EOS, maids n poyo-ness

wat does poyo mean? its one of those words dat we fling about in secondary skool without knowing what it means like bongok, toyol, cinapek, "local"... speaking of which... YeeSan made an interesting ovservation today while playing football... why when the goalie manage to make an excellent save we say, "huiyoh, keeper gila-lah!!" why not pandai-wan?

haih... 2moro EOS... last minit running thru some stuff... hopefully i didn't miss out anything-lah...
n yeah, we got a maid today... so the house suddenly like super-clean... of course there's a bad part-lah... all your stuff is rearranged... hopefully i manage to find everything i need tomoro morning :) but de new maid is nice... too nice in fact... while we're having dinner also she take water for us... aisay, no needlah... but den malaysian is like dat-lah... too good also complain, not good also complain...

out of line

a few days ago, streamyx screwed up and caused me to be unable to go online for about 2 days...
which is why i never go online or blog for quite some time...
den yesterday my handphone spoil... MY HANDPHONE SPOIL!!oh no... suddenly my world is like crashing down... no-lah, but den when my handphone spoil i feel like one of my ears is closed or like less something...
alamak... my handphone spoil, now have to send for repair... hopefully no need to buy new one... but den still got warranty-lah...
oh yeah, wat's wrong wif my phone? for some reason after on thursday ran out of batt. den when come back n i try to recharge cannot "on" back...recharge oso cannot now...
i hope no need to buy new batt or anything liddat... dat would so sux, cos' right now like no money liddat...

wah... heheh, dis entry is like the most complainingest entry i've entered in a long time... oh yeah, there was a super big blackout yesterday oso... but dat wasn't such a big deal cos' i was in IMU n IMU got gen. set, so actually tak rasa... but den when hai liang told me even johor no letrik i didn't believe until i came back home... :)
yeah, summative is on monday... THAT'S a big deal... at least it'll finally be over after 3 WEEKS study break...

blogger

i feel like blogging, but i don't really know what to blog about...
i'm supposed to be studying... but i feel like i'm rushing through my sum2 stuff a bit to quickly...
tonight feels like a good night to call up the panda... maybe i should... she starts work tomoro...

lately i've spent some time thinking about war3 strats... it's mainly cos' i don't accept defeat easily... especially when hailiang tells me its impossible to defeat 3 insane computers bcos' they get double resource gathering bonus... so i'm thinking up strats to prove him wrong...

i was flipping thru the Excelsior 2004(MBS's school mag)... i realized that i'm the sort of guy who gives you the impression like he's very smart... but then when it really matters, i.e on the exam date i always flop out.. which is why i never get those top of class awards liddat... if u look thru whole year exam results i'm always somewhere there, but never on top.. i always feel like i'm good, but not excellent cos' i'm too lazy to give that last spurt when it really counts...

war3 n exam flopping having something in common for me though... i hate giving up, n i always like it when its tough, when ppl say you can't... n den u prove them wrong by doing it...
heheh, i hardly ever achieve it though... but i relish tough situations... it kinda pushes me, although i'm still too lazy to be excellent when it really matters...

I'm invincible

Mwahahaha... daniel introduced me to this stupid flash game which apparently noone can win... except ME!! :> if you're dying of boredom and hav nth 2do there's many potential wasted hours here :P... oh yeah, i spent less den 1/2 hour "conquering" dis game...
if you still have too much time on your hands i suggest the main site... this guy must be some sort of programming genius wif too much time on his hands to make so many flash games... some are quite fun n innovative... check out Bauns and The Pond :)

it works

well... i managed to modify the code, but i feel like i did it in a sort of roundabout way...
i put the blogger code on both the start n entry elements... i'm thinking der must be a way to redirect the start to the entry element... uhh, if anyone understands wat i'm saying dat is...

why blog

why blog?
is it because we have too much time on our hands? naahh, not really... i could be playing diablo to waste my time...
is it cos' we think our lives are too interesting for ourselves dat we have to let the whole world know? naahhh, with over a million blogs, how much more interesting can one more blog be?!...
is it bcos' we think ppl enjoy reading about us complaining, ranting and raving about the world and it's insufficiencies?...
i doubt it... i don't really enjoy reading about ppl complaining, the newspaper is proof enuff dat the world isn't all blues skies smiling at you...

i think bloggers blog for themselves... n not really to entertain or tell the world about stuff dat's going on in their lives(maybe some do)
maybe bloggers blog and do continue blogging because its the only place where they're heard... maybe...
so why do i blog? actually its more bcos' i enjoy typing... even when there's nth much to type... but it's nice to type/write just for the sake of typing/writing... maybe its therapeutic for me... kinda like the way some ppl enjoy talking...

anyway.. its friday :) last day of the first week of schoolterm... studies are coming along just ok i guess... slightly ahead of schedule dat's why i can take time out here.. instead of wasting time clicking aimlessly against Diablo...

boring

boring boring boring boring... study break is boring...
aihh, reli can't wait for the weekend... as least i don't need to face my lecture notes for those 48 hours... i don't understand how ppl can't keep on studying day after day after day... i mean, facing the same piece of paper for 2 hours is enough to kill you...

anyway, i think this template should stick for sometime... hopefully :) i think it really looks good :) but den i made it, or rather, put the pieces of different blogskins together... so of course i think it looks good...

i'm going to play diablo today, i can't tahan anymore... and after summative i'm gonna start practicing war3... i don't believe its impossible to defeat 3 insane computers 3x3...

i must be crazy

i must be crazy... it's 2 AM IN THE MORNING and i've been up doing what? studying? no...
i've been up doing my blog skin... i must be crazy...

transition

ehh... u may have noticed dat the skins are changing... i'm kinda looking for a nice skin... so uhh, bear with me while i come up with something i like :P

i'm not complaining but... i haven't had human contact for over 24 hours...uhh, besides family-lah, but dat doesn't count... haih.. study break very cham...

waiting for rice to cook

i'm waiting for rice to cook, rice to cook, rice to cook...
why? because my dad forgot to cook rice for dinner although he cooked everything else...
waiting for rice to cook... hmm...

still got about 14 days more to End of Sem...
still got about a month more to Orientation...
hmm... i wonder why, but most of our life is spent waiting for stuff... we're never "there" whereever "there" is, where we don't have to wait for anything anymore...
we wait for results... wait to get into uni... wait for food to come... wait to get hungry...
and when we DO finally arrive at somewhere or sometime we've been waiting for... it never lasts long enough... it's like waiting for ice-cream... you DO enjoy eating ice-cream, but then when eating that time, eat so fast hardly enjoy... it's like the enjoying time is so short compared to the waiting time...
i think the only exception to this rule is waiting for eternity :)

2005

tired-lah... i wanted to do a refelection on what has happened the past year... but den lazy-lah...
today spent most of the afternoon packing stuff in the Red Crescent Society HQ in Ampang... mainly clothes... huiyoh, i never knew it's possible to have so much stuff in one place...
argh... my hands ache from throwing boxes bigger n heavier den me around all afternoon... it hurts so much i can hardly wash my hair...
anyway, i'm mustering whatever remaining strength i have to write a decent entry into my blog...
tomoro is first day of school for lotsa ppl... except me =)... but den i still have lots to study, so i'm not really much better off... except dat i can wake up late :P...

anyway, 2004 in brief review...
i spent the first 6 months working in Bee's... 2 more months looking for a uni and going out... and yeah, 4 months beginning August i finally did something worthwhile... studying... yeah, dat was 2004 in review... seriously i don't think i accomplished much... which is something i'm gonna try n change dis year.. :)
yay... looking fwd to 2005 :)