Saturday, October 30, 2004

coming home again

the past few weeks have been wierd, topsy turvy... uncertain...
for the past 10 months i have been battling myself over a sin i'm facing... time and time again i have come face to face with the mercy and forgiveness of God...
about 3 weeks ago, i met with an accident and mercifully survived though it could have been much, much, much more worse...
what is grace?
after my father's accident today i am more convinced of the answer i have discovered..
grace is when you can come home again... when after wasting the father's fortune on profligate living, the son still can come home again...
when after driving dangerously with eyes half closed, God practically carries you back so that you can come home again...
grace is when your Heavenly Father watches over and holds your earthly father so that he can come home...
grace is when after you have sinned, and sinned, and sinned, and yet again sinned... and after 10 months of living in sin, seeking forgiveness and coming before the throne of mercy... the offer made at the first is still the same as at the last... "will you come home again.."

"Is there no one who condemns you?"
"Then neither do I, go and leave your life of sin..."


I have never ever felt so totally helpless in an emergency before... today when i recieved the call from the blessed stranger who helped my father on the road... my mum was out with my sister for lunch... i was alone at home with my grandparents... the red car was still under repair, i had no real vehicle besides my bicycle to go and look for my parents... when i made the call to church, Siewteng and Ps. Chua were out...
i suppose it is only really when you're totally helpless that you know who are your true friends... friends aren't always those that're are laughing with you; true friends are those that are willing to extend a helping hand when it inconveniences and even troubles them; true friends are those who are always ready to call or sms their support when you're weak; true friends are always ready to drop whatever they're doing to pay attention to your problems... those who really consider you as precious...
many thanks to EeWan who drove me to look for my mum around SP, all the way to the Tengku Ampun Rampaiah Hospital in Klang, to panda;) who was the only one who called, to Daniel, MokCK, Jinqfeei for sms's...most of all to that stranger who stopped to help... mere words cannot express my thanks...

Thursday, October 28, 2004

its over

wah, its finally over... can rest 4 2 days...
yeah, today n tomoro must enjoy maximum...

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

can't wait

summative's tomoro... i can't wait just to get over and be done with it... fail, pass... who cares... it's only summative... after all, don't study also can get job-lah... so study for wat ;P...
anyway, i've just realized dat i hardly watch tv anymore... computer has become my sole source of recreation and entertainment... i used to watch on thursdays but nowdays... haih, Diablo II and internet take up all my time... no, this is not good...
i hereby proclaim that i shall limit my Diablo II playing to 3 times a week... if that's possible-lah, especially with summative over ;P...
haih, one computer for 3 ppl in one house is simply not enuff... i always seem to be the one "losing" out...
Dad:"you want to use the computer?"
Me:"no-lah, i'm studying..."(but secretly wishing he gets off the computer)
...then half an hour later when he does get off the computer, my sister jumps in the chair and i'm stuck with studying once again... hmm...
i haven't had a good long chat wif anyone for almost 2 weeks alredi... hmm...

Sunday, October 24, 2004

pain..

wahh.. pain-ah... my feet hurt... i've been playing futsal barefeet until got blisters on my feet...
hmm... this coming weeks promise to be quite tough for everyone but me... hmm, everyone's either busy wif assignments or exams...
joyce got end of sem, SPM n STPM is here, so got one whole bunch of ppl very busy now, e1 seems 2 be permanently stuck on assignments n exams, mei oso very busy n always asking me for ntv7 but never reply mail:)...
on the other hand, last saturday we finally had the 5 in 1 b'day celebration.. it was really fun preparing the presents and food, but really-ah...huiyoh, thank goodness is end of the month... wah, really pokai-ah... i have real reason to fear october now...

umm, i've been visiting joyce's new blog n mei's blog, i'm not implying anything bad, or at least i'm trying not to; anyway, it's something good... i've noticed dat my posts dun generally have much "spiritual" stuff in them... i wonder if that's good or bad?
on the other hand, i'm not praising my family... but i liked my dad's sermon today...
"you don't really know what it means to trust God until you "push the boundaries".."
in other words, unless u put yourself in or face a situation where u have no choice but to trust God, your faith is... not so solid, to say the least...

i was thinking how true this is, especially in an incident last friday...
every wednesday its either nice to come home or not nice, cos' we employ a maid to come in on wednesdays... so its nice to come home to a room dat somebody else has tidied and cleaned for u;), on the other hand... stuff goes everywhere... last week i was doing my book report for sunday skool on wednesday b4 going IMU, n den being smart i left it downstairs... wah, when come home n see the book without the report papers... wah, immediately know what happened... sure enuff kenot find... there was this small voice telling me not to worry n to trust God... but den after spending about half an hour re-messing the house oso kenot find... so after praying, haih... have 2 trust God n go to study...
heheh, friday i found it strangely just right on the table where the book was...
i'm either super-lousy at finding stuff, or God is really amazing... or mebbe both :)

wah, today's blog really very long-ah...

Thursday, October 21, 2004

blog

i was sitting here thinking about what it was dat i wanted to blog about...
then it struck me... that moment of enlightenment...(pause here for a moment and imagine a bright light shining around me ala levelling up)
no-lah, nothing big... just dat tomoro no class... n monday also... which gives me a 4 day weekend, which could have been even better if not for the fact that summative is next thursday..which means i'll should be studying on the long weekend, which i probably won'tlah anyway...


heheh, talking about enlightenment, i was on the phone the other day with a panda... and we were talking about enlightenment :) generally among panda circles, when a lesser panda doesn't understand what a greater panda is talking about... the greater panda will ask the lesser one to go to the toilet... of course this leads to the "throne" being the place of "en-light-enment"... which of course, could be taken literally to mean that u get "lighter" after sitting on the throne"... uhh, dun understand all this panda talk? nvm... didn't think any of ya'll would :)
dun worry, just go toilet and think about it :P
forget the panda if u want to... panda's aren't important
heheh, my crappiness level is quite high now :)

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

studying is boring

boringlah studying; especially when you're going over stuff you already know... playing computer is so much more fun... lately i've been recieving a lot of computer games...
daniel sent me all his classic DOS games.. Prince of Persia, Prehistorik, Cat... haih, all those classic games we used to play when computers were still being introduced...
but den i haven't actually got down to playing any... cos' i'm actually playing Diablo II now... umm.. just killed Andariel last nite, or rather this morning... hmm... summative is coming up, really should be studying more...
den i've lately been introduced to "soldat"... a 2D shootemup game... downloadable at http://www.soldat.prv.pl/
i actually have more "game assignments" to play then homework to do... well, i'll probably continue Diablo II Act II only after summative... b4 that... try, try, try to concentrate on studies...

Monday, October 18, 2004

accident

i had an accident. no it wasn't anything serious, i'm not injured. thanks to mei, jinqfeei n jois for sms, sam n peiyiing for passing by.

hmm...i probably should have let some of u all know earlier, but didn't really feel like talking about it until after i made the police report which was a few hours ago...
anyway, so here's the "official" version...
It was the evening 6pm, of 17th October.. it was after sending jois back home, i was just 10 more minutes from my house... had just passed the Bukit Jalil Golf Club traffic light, was in front of the Anjung Hijau Apartments... and was falling asleep... i know i should have stopped to rest but, haih... i know i'm a reckless driver, and all i could think of was getting back home...
well, i didn't notice the grey merc. which was on the right side of the road and by the time i did, i couldn't avoid and hit his back left corner... damage wasn't that bad... could still drive the car... i thank God i'm not injured and that Sam and Peiyiing just happend to be passing by.. first thought that ran through my mind was that this accident could have been MUCH MUCH worse bcos' if u're driving while u're sleeping anything can happen... thank goodness too that jois or jinqfeei weren't in the car, although theoretically if they were i wouldn't have been falling asleep.

so yeah, that's about it... and yeah, i forgot to take down the car plate no... so that meant that while reporting the accident today i listened to En.Zainuddin talk to me about Malaysians not knowing what to do in an accident while foreigners do... hmm... i promise to be a better driver...
i won't speed anymore and i'll rest if i'm sleepy.. :-... haih, 10 more minutes from home...

i spent most of last nite rolling in guilt and scolding myself for being stupid, but n/eway... wat's done is done...

Remember boy's and girl's... STOP and sleep if you're sleepy while driving!! you're endangering your life and the lives of the ppl around u.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

yahoo mail

aiyoh... why cannot check mail... i can't seem to login 2 yahoo! mail for some reason... yoh! kacau only...
i donated blood today... for the second time... donating blood is fun :) especially when u see ppl who never donate b4 donate 4 the first time :)... u get 2 feel quite proud, when they're so scared... like got this "been there, done that" feeling...

Friday, October 15, 2004

it's gonna rain

i just downloaded the cun "it's gonna rain" soundtrack from Samurai X... all fans of Samurai X put up your hands!!
i discovered lately dat daniel n jois follow Samurai X too... the one on Astro just finished the Shishio Makoto saga, so not really worth watching aldy, but on Sunday TV2 at 5pm oso got... n Kenshin not yet reach Kyoto also on TV2... so anybody interested in Samurai X(the best anime) go watch :) really... go watch, u dono wat u're missing...

btw, today we won volleyball.. n i missed it... hmph, all bcos' of daniel and amway... suckysucky... but at least we won :) yay, go M2/04!!
today n tomoro i only have 1 hour of lecture... it could have been fun, if not for the fact dat sum. ass. is two more weeks n quite pressure... haih... at least i've handed in my elective form... so, less one worry for now...

i've just realized i've got an affinity for rain... my favorite songs include, "Raindrops are falling on my head", "Kiss the rain" and yeah... the above song ;) give me rainy days over sunny days anytime..

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

stuff

hmm... i haven't blogged in the past few days... in total actually 3 days including today...
its not that nothing has happened.. maybe too much has happened...
i used to have this idea of blogging like my life was a fantasy story... where dragons, orcs, towns would be symbolic of certain people n places... i still think its a wonderfully fantastic idea... just dat i haven't really the time to sit down an make one...

i've been sleeping in class for the past two days... i never thought i was the sleep-in-class type like David Liew... but somehow i haven't been able to pay attention during lectures.. which leads me to boredom... and boredom leads to sleepiness... come to think of it, i was sleepy during sermon on sunday also... hmm...

yesterday, the M2/04 volleyball team progressed to the finals after a tense game wif Sem 5... yeah, i sense a victory coming :)... its fun to cheer on your team when you're winning...

Sunday, October 10, 2004

No more Malaysian Idol

and the First Malaysian Idol IS...Jaclyn Victor!!woohoo!! you go girl!!

to some it may seem a lopsided victory, to some an unfair competition... i say, let the winners win and let the losers lose... does experience make a person a worse competitor? If Jaclyn Victor was the best, then by all means... let her win.. and besides, the Malaysian public chose her... so she was obviously the most popular contestant... so what's wrong wif everybody's favorite girl winning?

yeah! Jaclyn Victor, The First Malaysian Idol... a title well and truely deserved...
on a side note.. i think its really cool dat Roslan Aziz has indicated that he's staying true to his word and going to sign up Dina.. truely, to be able to reach the Final Two is an achievement to be applauded...

i think to say that Dina was the underdog and that Jac's victory was expected is quite unfair towards Dina.. IMHO, they're both at the same level... can't wait for MI album and Jac's album to come out...2 thumbs up to 8tv, tv3 and MI for coming up wif the best show on Malaysian TV for a LONG LONG time...

the best songs on MI, Jac's "When I Fall In Love", "Tunggu Sekejap", "If I ain't Got You(Alicia Keys)" and "Gemilang", Jac and Dina's "I Believe I Can Fly".. uhh, i can't remember which Dina song.. she sang about two really good ones.. and there's also i think Nikki's "I Keep On Falling" (Alicia Keys)...

on a side note, ppl wonder why i "advertise" for 8tv so much... the truth is... i'm really Gary the IT guy ;)... no-lah, not really... but if 8tv can come up wif good shows, i don't see why i shouldn't praise it.. plus, it's good shows are LOCAL shows... so maybe its just bcos' i'm looking for something local to be proud of.. but wat's wrong wif being patriotic?

haih... after MI, Friday n Sunday nites will no longer be the same...no more Malaysian Idol

*update- Rydee sang Alicia Keys' I Keep On Falling; Nikki sang C.Aguilera's Voice Within... heheh, memory not dat good :P

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

poetry n music

colder than ice,
harder than steel,
hotter than fire,
crueler than death.
-me?:)-

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
-William Butler Yeats(The Second Coming)-

Poetry n music have this certain effect on you... i'm not a real poetry freak, but some stuff dat're really cun, like W.B Yeats Second Coming can have this "buzz" on you...
at times it feels like when you're listening to a piece of music that's really good, or dat brings back such memories, or dat simply just gives u that "buzz"... quite like wat i get when i listen to my Spirited Away OST...
its really quite indescribable... but u know something good's gonna happen, or is happening...

Monday, October 04, 2004

cerita polis

i watched the new jackie chan police story today wif hai liang n "his girls" :P it was okay-lah... not drop down excellent, but still quite good.. a typical jackie chan movie-lah...
excellent stunts, rather predictable story-line.. uhh, yeah.. but you could obviously see jackie's getting old alredy... wow, his face is like almost unrecognizable...
so, was it worth the 6 bucks? hmm... a bit-lah... 4 bucks would be a better price...

Saturday, October 02, 2004

IQ test

i'm not really in2 doing online surveys and the like, but today i had too much time on my hands cos' i was too lazy 2 go upstairs n get my books to study... so anyway, i did an IQ test.. heheh, guess what, i AM smart.. in fact, as smart as Bill Gates :P

The Classic IQ Test
What's Your IQ?
Congratulations, Tang!
Your IQ score is 136

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.
Your Intellectual Type is Facts Curator. This means you are highly intelligent and have picked up an impressive and unique collection of facts and figures over the years. You've got a remarkable vocabulary and exceptional math skills — which puts you in the same class as brainiacs like Bill Gates.

heh, if YOU too have too much time on your hands, take the Classic IQ test... i'm not showing off (^-^)

yeah, i just have too much time on my hands...

computers and hogs

everyone's such a computer hog, my dad's hogging the computer, my sister's hogging the computer... heck, even in IMU the com. lab is full more often then not...
i'm wishing i had my own laptop or computer... ;)
continuing on that note, i also wish for a brand new pair of shoes, something without shoe laces maybe, and not made from canvas...
i'm also wishing i had enuff cash to get a new handphone... okay, so its less den a year since i bought my First handphone and i'm already wishing for a new year. but doesn't everyone love new stuff... don't tell me you don't... i never thought i'd say this, but having a camera phone would be kinda cool... Samsung E-700 really looks good even though its kinda old by now...

on a brainier note... uhh,ok i don't really have anything brainy to say right now :P

Friday, October 01, 2004

new month

its a new month... and new month means...
new MONEY!!, new handphone credit!!
yay, i'm freed from the oppresion and suffering of poverty...
last month i literally spent everything i had, down to the last cent... my wallet was left literally empty... except of course for those 1 sen n 5 sen coins...

on the other hand, when u think about it, my kind of poverty would actually be someone else's wealth on another side of the world...