he passed away

this post...
is in rememberence of Uncle Phua...
Uncle Phua is one of the many uncles from church...
he's retired, and he looks just like any of the other church uncles...
married with one great kid...
he passed away today after a battle with cancer...
its actually almost been a year i think... i suppose it's been pretty up and down...
from the time he was first discovered to have growths in the colon and liver, and then the first biopsy showed benign growths... and then a couple of months ago they re biopsied and discovered malignancies...
and then rapidly downhill..
its sad... because uncle phua is one of the friendliest uncles in church... always saying hi to everyone, close to his son, helping out anyway he can... encouraging ppl... even when he discovered his illness...
hmm... its actually been quite a bad weekend in spite of the recently passed exams...
first juliang getting the relapse and now uncle phua...


gotta keep praying...

the unspoken oath 2

for unspoken oath 1 ref to fengyblogstoo.blogspot.com
an incident happened which i shall not elaborate on...
lol... but never the less... even though things worked out in a less than ideal way, what's happened has happened...

ermm.... so well... imagine that there's a rabbit... and this rabbit is good friend with a porcupine...
and then the rabbit is also frens with a skunk... so well... one day one of the animals did something wrong and stupid... and then the other animal also retaliated... so the rabbit while trying to avoid injury to both its frens, get spray with stink on one side and kena cucuk on other side... so in the end... what happen is well... one of the animals thought the rabbit was against it, so the rabbit also became dislike by one of the animals...but well, actually i'm another fren of the rabbit (not skunk or porcupine)... but well, its just that the rabbit is trying actually to protect both the skunk and the porcupine from injuring each other... but well... the rabbit is so skinny so some quills also go past and some secretions also get past...
but well...
this is just so that the rabbit's sacrifice is known to those discerning ones la...

so well... to repeat an oft repeated line... to err is human, to forgive is divine...

the unspoken oath is...
blogging has its hazards... but dun build dividing walls over hastily thrown stones...

actually wanted to refer to a story from bible... but i think i'll do that another day... have to bathe now....

sorry if you don't understand...
i know the rabbit will...

*edit- DISCLAIMER- the story about skunks and rabbits and porcupines in no way resembles what actually happened... it's called an ANALOGY... so please don't pick on details...
focus on the rabbit...
it's about the rabbit...
rabbit is cute

coincidence

wah... i don't believe the sheer coincidencabilitiness of this...
today i went ward as usual...
at the usual time everyone goes to ward...
which ranges from between 8-830am...
well... maybe this is just for my posting only la... maybe other posting ppls go on time at 8...
so actually everyday... correct me if i'm wrong.. but i think most ppl enter the hospital between that time...
so... i'm also the same...
but well... not once, but twice... i've met dato' kandar on the short 5 minute walk to the hospital...
and well... 2nd time alredi he recognize me liao...
actually this is 3rd time for me liao, cos' there was once during PSYCHIATRY posting when i went ward to revise Obs and hopefully some sem6 stuff, cos' that day was "free" for obs...
well so roughly each time i meet DK this is roughly wat happens...
"you're late"
*silence*
"why are you late?"
*silence*
"what posting are you from?"
paeds/psych/ortho...
and then so far he has asked to see...
my group leader... and today was my head of dept.. hmm... haven't done anything about it...
although i feel VERY frustrated... cos' i'm not the ONLY one being "so-called late"... but apparently i'm the only one getting caught...
hmm...
but on the other hand... while i was bathing i thought that actually in a way, he's right la...
i mean... i AM supposed to be in the hospital at 8... regardless of whether other ppl come at that time or not...
oh well...
i suppose on a christian perspective...
i'm not supposed to be as good as other ppl... i'm just supposed to be, good.
or in other words... not just do what everyone thinks to be right... but to do what's right.


"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
Hebrews 12:5-6


For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.
Romans 13:3-4


heh.. i just realized... this is the first real update in a wihle...
been... busy...

update

heh.. this is an update...
yeah... that's just wat it is...
an update...
there's actually a rather interesting discussion going on in christina's blog kiwi-bird.blogspot.com
u can go check it out and contribute to let her know what you think about what's going on in her life...

*update- this post was edited bcos' the word that was previously used may not have been appropriate... wah stress... blogging so long also i din know this sort of thing can happen...

done

IMS done... research left...
and then study all the way till february...
wow... what fun i'm going to have...
L...
O...
L...
=_=

and then there was one

home alone...

everyone's gone back...

well... only one more day, then i have my 4 day holiday...

aku takut cicak

i'll admit... i'm terrified...

when i moved to seremban 3, i knew i'd have to put up with a lot of things...

so when the insects came... that was ok...

when the flying ants came in swarms... that was ok...

when the gonggoks kept on coming... still ok...

when the lizards came... i thought they'd help keep the insect population down.. so.. that was ok...

but today...

there was a GECKO!!! it wasn't just a small mini lizard... it was a whole gigantic GECKO... measuring almost half a metre... err.. ok, not so much... but at least 10-15cm long...

it was... HUGE!!!...AAAAAHHHHH!!!!

and it attack me when i was about to take my bathe...

scary...

now i'm same as yeangwee... scared of cicak...

i'm coming home early tmr to buy sulphur...

postpostpost

hmm... haven't been blogging in a while...
won't be in church today... cos' supposed to be studying...
aih... nid to kickstart my EOS7 revision....
it's DECEMBER already!! 2 months ONLY more!!!

but december doesn't just bring stress with it...
there's also plenty more to life than just exams...
like STUDY, WARD WORK, REVISE, PREPARE SUMMARY, CFCS, RESEARCH....
ahh... bodoh punye IMU... semua benda dia kasi letak pada "holiday season"... dah lah tak bagi holiday...

but more importantly...
it's CHRISTMAS... yay!! :)
heh... and it's not just about the presents... there's also...
Christmas Celebrations and... reminders about why I believe in what i believe :)

decisions

haiz...
i hate tough decisions...
especially depressing decisions...

music

hmm...
sometimes i wonder if i should be doing medicine at all...
life would be so much easier i think if i became...
a musician...
i mean... all i'd have to worry about is practice... having fun while making great music...
can get to meet all sorts of funky "artistic" ppl...
of course... if i was going to earn any money i'd have to be good at playing music... which i suppose would be where the stress would come from...

other benefits would be...

i'd be SO FREE!!!
no need to STUDY!!!
heh... get to try smoking... drugs and getting high... lol... all those musicians either smoke or take drugs to get the "creative" juices flowing... hahaha...
can listen to GREAT music ALL the time...
yeah... actually since reading about substance abuse in Kaplan's i've been really curious about what it'd feel like...
hahaha... curiousity is the first step to drug abuse rite?
maybe that's why i'm studying medicine... so that one day i can sneak a vial of morphine to shoot up my right arm...

lol... i have such a great imagination... and no... i'm not high on drugs or nicotine...
my mum would kill me before the intoxication does... :P

*magical* prediction no.9

i'm doing something i haven't done in a while...

Today...

The true meaning of Merdeka will resonate in your ears

the above pic is a picture taken from a merdeka trip we had in melaka...

and err the picture kinda summed up what we did...

syok sendiri...

in the true spirit of merdeka, syok sendiri epitomises the malaysian culture...

well... merdeka is long past... and the only reason i'm blogging about merdeka is bcos' i so happened to pull this "prediction" out...

exams next week...

STUDY!!!

psychiatry

psych... is frustratingly boring...
even as i entered the posting i began feeling a sense of intense apathy...
hmm....

well... the subject does have it's interesting points...
just that they're not relevant or clinical...
take for example sleep disorders... which would be so majorly interesting if i could see real patients who had them...

Dyssomnias

1)Cataplexy
-brief episodes of muscle weakness or paralysis with no loss of sonsciousness (due to sleepiness)

2) Ekbom syndrome (Restless leg syndrome)
-uncomfortable sensations in legs at rest... relieved by movement
*i think i got this

3)Kleine-Levin syndrome
-periodic disorder of episodic hypersomnolence
-may sleep excessively for SEVERAL WEEKS and awaken only to EAT VORACIOUSLY

Parasomnias
1)Sleep terror disorder
-sudden awakening usually sitting up with intense anxiety

2)Somnambulism
-brief episodes of LEAVING bed and WALKING about without full counsciousness
-amneisa for the event
-can usually be guided back to bed (cool... imagine if you guide him back to other places)
-can sometimes be initiated by placing child in standing position... lolz...

3)Sleep bruxism
-tooth grinding THROUGHOUT the night
*i wonder if je has this... whenever i'm standing near him i can always hear him grinding his teeth

and lastly... just for the funky name...

4)jactatio capitis nocturna
-rhythmic head or body rocking just before or during sleep

haiz... psychiatry... is moving slooooooowly....
to an end...

birthdays

this month is a month of birthdays :)
amongst the many... there are a few that are close to me...
daniel celebrated his on thursday 25th...
err.. i was actually looking for something i wrote up abt him... tapi tak jumpa... rasanya sudah ter delete...
but... in spite of my apathy... dia seorang kawan yang baik...
sometimes feel like wan to keep him in a plastic bag so that he stop making lame embarassing jokes and touching my face... sometimes best when i got mood to play wif him and can do lame jokes...
but the best thing about him is...
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
he's FAT... haha... no la... he's a good friend la...

the other guy is.... ANDREW the frog!!!
although he's not here... this guy also is a good friend... similarly hilarious but always nice to play and joke with...
always ready with some dumb stuff, he's actually very manly although he looks gentle and sensitive...
btw, by "not here" i mean he's in Otago, NZ... not meaning "not here" as in... u know... lol

others on the birthday roll whom are close too but i won't blog about for the sake of brevity are...
leena sim (a good friend since... kecik.... sangat kecik)
chiyuan wong (also overseas... now holidaying... so tak berapa tau lokasi yang tepatnya... dia abang kawan baik aku punye girlfren... complex rite)
timothy lai (some old married guy... lol.. shh...)
err... if i forget anyone sorry yah... you all lah... who ask to born all together...
never hear b4 contraception and spacing meh...

401

my 401st post..
hmm... but actually i have other things on my mind other than having so many posts...
i've been noticing my memory becoming poorer recently...
maybe it's because i'm doing psychiatry that i'm thinking i have a dissociative amnestic disorder...
but my memory.. more specifically recent memory is at times... dejectedly abhorrent...
i mean.. i can go downstairs to get something (not that there's anything downstairs to get)....
ok, i can go upstairs to get something for my room..
the actions involved would be... putting the thought into my mind that i want to get... say... a ruler...
so then i get up, walk up the stairs... and the when i reach my room... i'm either distracted by something that grabs my empty brain's attention... or just sit down and think what is it that i wanted to get...
more often than not i'm going back downstairs to continue whatever it was i was doing until i need that ruler again...
case in point would be my forgotten SHIRTS...
and i have been forgetting my clerking excercise book a couple of times this week and during Obs posting...
my distant memory and immediate memory is fine... just... recent 5 minute memory...
in fact,
i was testing a patient for 5 object memory at 1 and 5 minutes...
she could remember 4 items...
so could i... i couldn't remember the last one...
and i thought...
okay... who's the patient now...

btw... the past 2 nights have been a bit disturbing...
last night i dreamt that i was in the psych ward... and the patients were fine... but everyone was saying i was the one with psychotic delusions in spite of my earnest protests... hmm... scary...
is this folie a deux?

hari raya card

i recieved a hari raya card from yeangwee...
heh, i suppose he had a ball of a time getting people to sign it and give it to me...
i'm mildly amused at his preoccupation with me...
i actually found it mildly odd...
so, i don't know whether i should thank him or do what...
so i just thought i'd acknowledge the reciept of the card and everyone who put in the effort to humor yeangwee and me? to put their little 2cents worth into the card...

yeah... odd...

*magical* prediction number 8?

yeah... i'm back online and in seremban...
and so i thought... with nothing much to blog about...
i'd fall back on those magical prediction's that i so rarely pull out of the bottle...

today...
your family will call you unexpectedly. Act Surprised.

well... they didn't call... but i certainly did call them...
because i'd forgot to bring back the shirts i took to wash back to seremban and left them in KL...
thankfully, HL was going to BJ for debate... so i asked him to pick up the shirts since he's there...
so i called home to tell them... well... my sister was ok about it....
but apparently now my mum thinks i'm walking around shirtless under the lab coat... LOL...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!
won't be bringing back my comp this time...
so it'll be 9 days of no computer and no internet...
have a HAPPY RAYA ^^

religious outing

hehe... tomoro i'm off...
so i agreed miss C to go with her for an outing...
well... let's just say that i went in with different expectations from what i got...
the "advertisement" was that this would be a "******* Fellowship" where people of other religions were invited. and also that food? would be provided, and that this would be at an ex-lecturer's house...
so the image in my head was that of some kind of catered food thingy with maybe some religious talk at some point... and then some time to get to meet juniors, ex-lecturers...

well... i won't go into the details, but... i guess i can say the "meeting" was slightly more "religious" than what i expected... hehe, which actually made for a more interesting evening...

but anyways... i observed a few things that struck me about how it feels like to go for another religion's meeting, that i think maybe others may feel if they go for my "religion's" meetings (christian)

1) when you go for "religious" events... don't expect things to be unreligious... in fact, whether christian or otherwise... we try to give invitee's as secular an idea as possible to "draw" people, but most of the time admittedly in christian meetings i've observed that we dish out more religion than was promised...
2) anyone involved in doing anything in the "meeting" is kinda assumed to be a "religious" expert...
3) invitee's try to keep as low a profile as possible... introductions are SCARY... because it IS a strange situation...
4) if you're not of that same religion... or maybe even if you are... or maybe it's just me... i start "comparing" religions...
5) there WILL be jargon or strange ceremonies done that will provoke awkwardness and "don't-know-what-to-do-now" feelings...

but anyway... it made for an interesting and thought provoking evening... not least because i observed that in ******* religion, they have been observing and learning from christian practices alot... church and christians were brought up quite a few times during the talk... in fact, most of the things that were done or discussed were very reminiscent of what we christian's do (but maybe that's just the whole religion thing where all religions run in this "standard format")

which brings me to the thing that struck me the most
6)what makes us different from the rest?

nice

today... is a good day (=
i'm now in PSYCH.... the crazy people posting... yay!! i finally get to meet people like me...
hahaha...
but this should be an interesting posting... and a very free one i think... even more when you consider that next week we're off for RAYA!!! ^^
but today is a good day...
came back after lunch... and slept... slept... slept...slept... it was SOOO GOOD weather to sleep, with cool breeze, hardly any sun, clouds and rain after that... ahhh.... enjoy...
some days are meant for sleeping in...

i'm obviously awake now by the way....

mehjeecal preedeecshehn

today...
you will have a sudden inexplicable, irrepressible urge to act cute.
Give in to it.

hahaha... err... i don't need to act cute cos' i AM... hahaha... right...
but umm... didn't experience any "abnormal urges"...
i think i did dance a little while at the piano in front today.. but that's what i normally do anyways... so i don't think it counts...
umm... i googled cute and came up with this site...
http://cuteoverload.com/
hmm... not really one for cute stuff... never really understood the attraction...
but then again, there are many mysteries in life...
like why shopping is fun...
and other various stuff (=