somewhere over the rainbow

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There's a land that i've heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true

Someday i wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you find me

Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't i

Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't i

If happy little blue birds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why, can't i
it's christmas eve... and i woke up wif this song :) it's christmas... and in spite of all the bad things that happen... we still have hope and joy because Jesus first gave us a reason to have hope and joy :)

1 more day to christmas

2 more days

2 days to christmas...

heh... don't know wat else to say...

what's it all about?

oh... how right i was... and how wrong...
everything seems to be going wrong this christmas...
exams, PA stuff to prepare, youth camp... oh, no... that's the good stuff...
then there's mei having problems, juliang admitted to hospital...

where's the joy, hope and the yuletide good cheer of the season man...
what's christmas all about if everything starts to fall apart... what's it all about really?

and then... and then i remember that the first christmas happened under pretty much similar circumstances...
no place to stay, birth pains, stink of the manger... oh, no... that's the good stuff...
thousands and thousands of babies dying cos' of a paranoid governor, a reign of terror where you have to hide your baby from everyone...running to another state cos' of dreams...God having to give up eternal power for 30 years of lowly human life starting christmas...

christmas wasn't about joy, happiness and yuletide cheer whatever that may mean...
i suppose then... it's about finding hope where there seems to be none...
hmm... then i suppose this christmas isn't that bad after all... cos' there's always hope...
i hope...

3 days to christmas

christmas

i just realized how depressing the past few posts have been...
heheh, christmas is coming... how bad can it be actually?
and everyone's back.. leena's back, wong family's back... so how can it be depressing?
i'm gonna enjoy this christmas... hopefully :P...
screw EOS... christmas is more important rite? :)

4 days to christmas...

letting go

sometimes i think it would be so easy for me just to forget about exams and enjoy the holidays...
heh, so much more easier...

of course.. then would come 6 months of regret as i retake sem3... ish... exams during christmas is a very very bad idea...

5 days to christmas

beginning

haih... it's beginning alredi...
the inescapable feeling of church work pulling me away from my books...
heheh... so much to do, so little time... and i haven't been helping by spending almost half the time the past 3 weeks playing...

we're all so screwed... God help us...
is this christmas or what? why do the days seem to get darker the closer it get's to christmas...

6 days to christmas

exams suck

a most depressing thought just occured to me...
what would i do if i failed my sem3...
should i continue my medical studies... or go do something else...what would i do if andrew... hai liang... or some one close to me fails sem3...
i hate being left behind... i hate leaving people behind... i didn't like it in primary school... didn't like it in secondary school and i still don't like it...

exams suck...

9 days to christmas...

8 days to christmas...

7 days to christmas...

yeah, i missed a lot of days cos' my family's back and they're hogging the computer... >_<

home alone

its actually been 3 days alredi...and most people would have announced this at the first possible moment... but anyway i'm home alone for this entire week...
my families away in singapore.. and i'm home alone with the maid and grandfather...
but then again... i know most would jump at the opportunity for this to happen, screaming FREEDOM... but heh, its strange but, yeah... i'm enjoying myself to a certain extent... but after a while you sometimes wish there was more people at home... someone to talk to...

and anyway... after spending one whole day playing computer it DOES get pretty boring... so... in a way it's good cos' i AM supposed to be studying... so, maybe it's for the best...

anyway, i missed yesterday... so

11 days to christmas (yesterday)

10 days to christmas (today)

anger

how do you let someone know you're angry?
is it ever good to get angry?
hmm... today i was really angry... but i didn't let anyone know cos' it was a birthday party and i didn't want to be a killjoy... should i have gone and sulked in a corner... blow up in front of everyone... or just smile and pretend nothing happened...i don't really know why i was angry... maybe it was bcos' we were made to drive around cheras and kl cos' the girls had to choose a place in cheras to eat that no one had gone before... maybe it's bcos' girls don't give directions very well... maybe it's just bcos' i decided to go for a birthday party i very well knew i would be coming back late from...maybe i'm angry cos' no one noticed i was angry... i don't really know who i'm angry wif anyway...

huh... being angry sux... dun feel like studying today...

12 days to christmas

why

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said "Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry
you said he was stronger than all of those guys
Daddy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?"

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide

So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said, "Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can't You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?"

"My precious Son, I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"

i don't know if i've posted this before... i first heard it during easter this year... but i'm reminded again during christmas... that Jesus was born to die...

christmas is coming :)

yeah... christmas is coming...
but...heheh, i won't have time to buy christmas presents for anyone...not that i have sufficient funds:P... so yeah, having no time is an excuse for me to save up a bit;)...
haha... anyways... christmas is coming :)...
yay... there's carolling this year, and camp, and holidays(of sorts)... so, heh, it might yet be an enjoyable christmas... we'll see... but as always... i look forward to christmas again...
heh, its probably cos' it brings so much joy and hope.... :)

between two worlds

heh... its weird, but at times it feels like i'm hanging between two worlds...
like i'm having one leg in church and one leg in IMU... neither here nor there...
IMU prevents me from spending all my time in church,
and church prevents me from spending all my time in IMU...
and sometimes i wish i could bring both together, or if i can't... then remove one and stick with the other... but then again...

sometimes makes me wonder how'll life be when i move over to seremban...

love?!

how do you make someone love you?
how do you make someone trust you?

heh, you can't really... no, i didn't have a close encounter with the lovey kind... but was kinda sharing about this in TU yesterday... heh, and i think i said something which sounded pretty cool... i didn't come up with it-lah...but nevertheless, i hadn't thought about saying it consciously... which made it more cool-lah...
"every morning God is proposing to each and everyone of us, hoping that for that day we'll accept Him into our heart once more, making Him our love of our life once again..." or something to that effect-lah... don't really remember, cos' it was impromptu...

heh, this week is gonna be a killer week... VBS + classes + mock OSCE... hmm... let's see how it'll work out... -_-

busy

hmm... you wish it could be otherwise... but sometimes your so busy that you almost hate yourself for it... and sometimes its not so much that your time is filled up with stuff that you have to do, but stuff that you want to do... hmm... so much stuff to do... so little time...
heh, yeah... GI and EOS is coming up... and i wonder why i signed up for VBS( which happens the week b4 GI; and AYBC (week before EOS)... haih... stupid am i? where am i going to find time to study....

in christ alone

Newsboys - In Christ Alone Lyrics

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

hmm... i'm going to be doing something that needs lotsa strength tomoro... heh, and its not about lifting objects... hrm... God be with me, and mei too... she needs lotsa faith and strength now...

sick

hehe... i'm sick at home, due to fever and diarrhoea... haih, the past few days have been quite hectic.. so i was actually quite thankful that i didn't have to go to school today... can finish up on preparing VBS handwork and sunday school lesson...
but ohh... getting cirit birit really sux to the max...

spam

hmm... its kinda getting irritating, this comments spam thingy... isn't there any software i can install to stop it happening? and what's blogger doing about it i wonder...
heheh, on the other hand, without the spam... most of my posts would go without comments... but as it is, i'm irritated enuff with these "fake comments"....

lol... there is one other option i can use to stop this comments-spam thingy happening... which is to stop posting alotogether:P... nah, don't think that's an option...
on another note... i was right... i should have called up mei... and sooner at that...

holiday

heh... its actually been quite a while since and gonna be quite a while b4 i get another holiday...
maybe that's why i only know how to waste holidays with sleeping late and waking up late:P...
but n/eways... this holidays is only a partial holidays, cos' i'm supposed to be studying due to the fact that i've been slacking since GI started... so its 2 whole weeks worth of lectures... oh well... good luck to me:P...
oh, and i just realized i should call up mei or something... haven't spoken to her in a while...
on the other hand... its good to be able to stop worrying about stuff this whole week...
no sunday school lesson to prepare, nothing to do for TU, no school stuff to worry about... heh, nice :)
hmm... on the other hand, was thinking to myself this morning... its time to start thinking about when to quit presidentship...

sambutan hangat

nampak nya "post" yang lepas telah mendapat sambutan hangat.. mungkin beta patut lebih ber-blog dalam bahasa ibunda... lol, no-lah... afterwards got "over-exposure"... BM posts keep for uhh... "un-special" occasions when got nothing better to do... afterwards xian...

hari ini

hari ini hari khamis...
pada hari khamis ini tiada apa-apa yang istimewa... oleh itu, saya tiada apa-apa untuk ditulis di sini...
hmm... sebenarnya minggu ini banyak orang yang menyambut hari jadi mereka... pada hari ahad yang baru lepas ada, iaitu cik leena... pada hari selasa, encik daniel dan cik joanne... pada hari rabu, encik chiyuan... pada hari jumaat, encik fang...pada hari sabtu, encik pastor chua... pada hari ahad akan datang, encik timothy... wah... banyak sungguh... haha, my BM quite good-ah? :P

cars

haha... this weekend was rather eventful...
it began on saturday morning... as all weekends do... with me waking up.. and doing quiet time...
so, then halfway thru my dad called me up to ask me to push the car... so push the car i did...
i put my hand on the windscreen... and started pushing... and my dad jumped into the car and closed the door... there was a crushing sound, and the next thing i knew my index finger was stuck between the bar at the edge of the windscreen and the driver's door... oh yeah... in case you're wondering... it hurt... lots...heheh, my dad opened the door(yeah, the door actually closed and latched, not the "closed" where it bounces off my finger and opens back) and miraculously my finger was fine... except for some lost skin and a numb swollen feeling in my index finger which still hurts now... heh, passage for quiet time was Psalm 4.. which included this line :"...You have filled my heart with greater joy..." :)
lol... but it turned out true anyway... cos' i was on pianist duty(yes.. the type which needs you to use your fingers)... for youth and for worship... and well, to cut the long story short... i was still able to play.. praise God :>

come to today...
i knew i was out of petrol since yesterday... but i was hoping i would be able to leave it until after futsal to fill up... tough luck... that small little voice telling me to fill up immediately after church was right...
for the first time in my entire life... my car ran out of fuel, died.. and wouldn't start up... haha...anyway... after futsal, daniel who had earlier picked me up to futsal, drove me to BP to get some petrol and we managed to start up the car again after some pushing and help from some passing uncles:)... haha... so yeah, my first "car problem" solved ever... by myself :P... feeling rather accomplished...

what am i doing?

i'm blogging...

does this count as a post?

malays

the malays are a sad race...
it's sad cos' they're so full of racial pride and umm... that "family" spirit, that really makes all malays seem to be a sort of "big family" from the kampung...
it's sad cos' they're so proud of their country and their upbringing...
it's sad cos' they're so proud of their heritage and traditions and customs and festivals...
its sad cos' they're such a cool and laid back people...
it's sad cos' they're a dying race...
it's sad cos' the new generation of malays are breaking off from their families and leading individual lives apart from their families and communities...
it's sad cos' the malays are living lives for their immediate pleasure without thinking of the future consequences...
it's sad cos' the malay youth don't seem to remember or know where they've come from and where they're going...
its sad cos' so many malays have such a 'tidak apa' attitude that doesn't care about anyone other than themselves and the people close to them...

its' sad cos' the only man who seemed to finally seemed to be doing something right for the malays lost his wife to breast cancer this morning...
life is full or suffering and injustice. i remember blogging on how tough it was to be Badawi... i guess it just got a whole lot tougher...

my condolences to Pak Lah and family... i pray that he'll somehow get thru this...

spam

Anonymous said...
Hey, interesting post! I've bookmarked your blog and will be reading it regularly.By the way, did you hear today that North Korea, once designated by George Bush as part of the "axis of evil", has agreed to drop its nuclear weapons development? In return, the US gave an assurance that it had no nuclear weapons on the Korean peninsula and no intention of attacking or invading Pyongyang with nuclear or conventional weapons. What do you think about that?I have a car finance web site which you or your readers may find interesting. It pretty much covers car finance related stuff.Keep up the nice work!
Jimmy

11:54 PM

mOkKiEs® said...
HAHAHHAHHA! oh man! the lines between spam and blog comments are getting blurrer than a windscreen on a wet day!

1:05 AM

nEphilim said... well jimmy... i personally think that this post wasn't that interesting... i have absolutely no idea why you say it is so... as to what i think about george bush and north korea... well, if you drop by more than once i promise you i'll give you a reasonable answer :P...lol... i wish i could spam HIS website ;)

9:26 PM

i can't resist it... but i'm blogging about... my blog :P... haha, the self-centredness of it all...
some dude named jimmy apparently dropped by and posted this comment... now how bout' that... do you think he'll be here again? i doubt it... now it'll truly make my day if someone else anonymous dropped by to leave some anonymous comments that would strangely have a link to his anonymous website...
the lines between spam and real comments are getting blurred... talk about a technological revolution :P

post-exam

heheh... the best days of my life are those that are after exams...
no worries, no cares... umm, yeah... at least for a while :)...
feeling quite accomplished today actually... finished watching my Full Metal Alchemist Anime, played finish Hero Seige with the dotA gang(which was a totally absolute waste of time)...
but the best part about not having any immediate exams isn't the fact that you're able to do what you want to do... but cos' you don't need to worry studies :)...

exam

hmm... strangely i've been able to blog quite regularly in spite of exams... heh, tomoro's hemato... hopefully it's ok-la...

seven deadly sins

heh.. i found this article in hailiang's house... it's quite interesting...

gl hf

Blessid Union of Souls-I believe
Walk blindly to the light and reach out for his hand
Don't ask any questions and don't try to understand
Open up your mind and then open up your heart
And you will see that you and me aren't very far apart

'Cause I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way

Violence is spread worldwide and there are families on the street
And we sell drugs to children now oh why can't we just see
That all we do is eliminate our future with the things we do today
Money is our incentive now so that makes it okay

But I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way
I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way

I've been seeing Lisa now for a little over a year
She said she's never been so happy but Lisa lives in fear
That one day daddy's gonna find out she's in love
With a nigger from the streets
Oh how he would lose it then but she's still here with me
'Cause she believes that love will see it through
And one day he'll understand
And he'll see me as a person not just a black man

'Cause I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way
I believe I believe I believe I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way
Love will find the way
Love will find the way
Love will find the way
Please love find the way
Please love find the way

umm... gl hf stands for good luck, have fun... it's something we type just as a dotA game is starting(heh, don't think there's gonna be dotA this week, even on friday:|)
well, this is gonna be a long and difficult week that's filled with a tight schedule that's gonna end only next sunday...
hmm... tomoro have Mock Osce and have to pass up KK History, thursday there's a wedding rehearsal, friday's End of System for Hemato, saturday a wedding... then there's a TU lesson to prepare for saturday and sunday there's sunday school lesson... both of which is gonna take up time for preparation... which means i don't have much time to prepare for Hemato... hmm, this state of affairs is quite worrisome...

oh yeah, above song probably doesn't have anything to do with anything... just was listening to it just now...

exams...:(

it's quite pathetic, but for a couple of months alredi my life has revolved around nothing but studies and exams...:(
is there no one willing to break me out of this evil that is consuming all of us?!

badawi

hmm... i was just watching news just now... and i realized that being badawi is tough...
first he's got crappy dudes all around him trying to make a quick buck and get their 15 minutes of fame, and the only rare times he'll probably get a good day in the office are those when he finds that rare instance when someone's really interested in doing something for the country's good and not his/her own... talk about crappy job...
to top it all off, his wife is going thru cancer treatment... well, if anyone would want to runaway and hide from it all i think he would have an excuse to do so...

perky

lol... it either shows i hardly blog or that i'm having mood swings:P...
feeling quite perky today, as opposed to my previous post... heh, a few reasons for perkiness...
this system i'm able to keep unfinished notes down to below 10, which means end of course exam hopefully won't be so stressful:), and... mostly this week for the first time in many, many weeks... actually managed to end the week with money in my pocket... huh, probably due to having dinner at home the WHOLE week(feels wierd actually)... and playing only 3 dotA games over the whole week... admittedly yesterday i went to watch, but at least i didn't play:P

tired

heh... the IE auto-complete informed me this isn't the first time i'm blogging about this...
well... i'm tired... just... tired... at moments like this i really wish i had a girlfriend to talk to...
frens like mei and all are cool and all... but well, you can't keep on bugging ppl about your troubles all the time...

plasticine

i had a dream about plasticine last nite.. heh, i'm not one to blog about dreams and stuff.. but it's kinda stuck in my head anyway...

you know when plasticine get's rolled in dirt, it's almost impossible to separate the two. imagine if you rolled a ball of white plasticine with a block of black plasticine, and kept on rolling and rolling it. it's almost impossible to separate the two.
Now imagine that block of plasticine is you.
Sometimes the dirt shows on the surface, sometimes it's hidden underneath. So sometimes we try to pull out the dirt but there always seems to be more underneath the surface, and we seem to keep on sticking back the dirt onto the ball. Sometimes we try to cover the dirt back up so that on the outside it looks all white and nice.
Some of us hate ourselves for being so dirty that we try to cover it up, but somehow... the dirt still keeps on coming back to the surface as we roll about.
Some of us hate others for their dirt showing up on their pieces of plasticine, and so we avoid those dirty pieces of plasticine and stick to other "cleaner" pieces of plasticine... but the truth is.. all of us have some amount of dirt stuck on and in us.
I suppose the only way to be able to get thru life with the dirt removed, and really removed.. is if we let the Maker of our plasticine ball remove the dirt. At times it hurts cos' it's taking a part of ourselves away. At times it's the unnatural thing to do cos' we've gotten so used to the dirt being there cos' it's always been that way. But unless we let the Maker take the dirt away, it's going to get more and more, until all that's left inside and outside is dirt.. and nothing clean is left.
But it's only when we let our Maker start pulling away some of the dirt off us that we begin to be able to start loving ourselves cos' we wonder how anyone could love us so much to dirty His hands to pull out the dirt out of a plasticine ball. Then He tell's us it's because underneath all the dirt we've picked up, there's still that part of you that He made that He'll always love no matter how dirty the outside may seem.
And it's only then that we're able to love others cos' no matter how much dirt covers it up, there's always that part that the Maker put there, that'll always be there to love.
And so we try to spread the News of this Maker who's somehow willing to dirty His hands to pull out the dirt off us, so that one day... when we're all finally clean and white again... we'll no longer be plasticine figures... but real people.

this post is dedicated to that pretty girl who's always not at home.

fur

hmm... ok, since i cutted my hair to this length i've recieved quite a few comments...
most popular was ,"What happened? Why you cut your hair like that?" and its many variations ranging from: "WAH!!" to "Why so desperate?"
hmm... another interesting is that although i still DO have hair, ppl say i cut myself bald...
heh, but my favorite comment is still vikki's comment, "Hi fur~!"

copy n paste

heh... cool-eh? i'm beginning to learn the art of copy and paste blogging...
exhibit one: previous blog entitled "raindrops"... was succesful published without a single "hand-typed" word in it... it was entirely copied and pasted from a lyrics site...
hmm... come to think of it, my mind wasn't actually on the blog last nite... was thinking bout other stuff actually... heh, shud hav waited till this morning to blog it, cos' i can't remember wat i wanted to do now...
oh well, so much for blogging being an "original art"...

raindrops

Raindrops keep falling on my head
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit
Those raindrops are falling on my head, they keep falling

So i just did me some talkin' to the sun
And i said i didn't like the way he' got things done
Sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are falling on my, head they keep falling

But there's one thing i know
The blues he sends to meet me won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep falling on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Crying's not for me
Cause i'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because i'm free
Nothing's worrying me.

exams over

finally... respi's over.. i think i have some recheduling to do...
no more going out for a couple of months... for financial and family considerations... haven't been at home for almost a month alredi... first was johor, then orientation, then exams..hmm... i'm only at home to sleep.. heheh, now not even to eat, which is why i'm broke... eating dinner outside costs a bomb... even the monthly dotA bill is peanuts in comparison...
when you're eating outside it's either not enough or its too expensive... and sometimes it's both expensive AND not enough... *blek...
hrmm... and i need to think of a elective to do that won't cost too much...

hmm...

i don't really know what i'm posting... or for that matter why...
but anyway... the previous weekend was quite hectic...
the coming week will be too, have one week to squeeze all of Respi before friday...
hmm... on the bright side, i have a new haircut
and on thursday or next tues. might be meeting up with mei and nesin with andrew...

umm... yesterday and today woke up feeling really sore all over cos' saturday was moving PA stuff from the comm. hall back and fro... heheh, haven't been excercising in a while...
what i would give for a massage... :|

camera

hehe... i'm wishing i have a camera now, cos' there's a picture i really want to put up online...

comments on orientation

hmm... by bro. made some interesting points about orientation... and heheh... being long winded my reply stretched too long that i decided to make it into a post...

"ragging" new believers..mwahaha, sounds like an excellent idea:P... no-lar...
hmmm...gud points, umm... but if i said that orientation does make IMU a better place to learn by preparing you for situations in real life where there'll be ppl who are out to get you but there are others who're out to help you... does it make sense?
and hmm... shudn't uni be a place to have fun and not just to study?

but uhh... on a serious side, i was just wondering whether we understand what it means to suffer as a christian, cos' most of the time, esp. in an urban culture... becoming a christian doesn't entail much suffering...thus IMHO we sometimes lower our standards to "fit" with the world, so that we can go thru life easier and go thru "less" suffering, and thus in a way, "skip this earthly orientation that's preparing us for heaven"?... umm... hope i'm not blaspheming or anything, but just thot abt it...

end

yay... it's ended...
orientation's over... and i'm dead tired... i came back this morning at 730 with no more energy to go for telematch cos' i stayed over at hailiang's place since variety nite finished so late...
heheh, ok... fun's over... time to start studying... i'm wayyyy... behind.. and i'm tired...
i'm so thankful i chose to stay home and not go telematch... if i went TU without sleeping today, i'd be half dead...

orientation

hrmm... orientation has started :)..
yeah.. it's all fun and stuff, but besides the occasional rebel, there was one comment from the juniors that piqued(woohoo, BIG WORD) my attention:P
umm... i believe she said that upon being approached to crack an egg on her head, she said that she "had self-respect" and thus didn't want to be dirtied and so proceeded to refuse the offer of having and egg on her head... heheh, amazing how i'm able to make ragging seem so nice;P...
anywayz, i'm of the opinion that ragging DOES serve a purpose and IS good for the juniors...
here's why i think that is ISN'T degrading, and IS beneficial... tell me what u think...
Does refusing to get dirty show you have self-respect? do garbage collector's have self respect? if anything in orientation would show you don't have any self-respect i would think it would be all the vulgarity and coarse language in the cheers you have to shout out to the whole of IMU to hear that would be "degrading" or that shows you don't have any "self-respect"... as it is, most if not all of the juniors are willing to put up with all the vulgarity but the (IMHO)spoilt few aren't willing to put up with the getting dirty part.
if anything, refusing to get dirty shows more about YOU(jr.) then about US(sr.)..
1. you DON'T have a sense of humour.. what, you don't find getting dirty fun? go live in an air-conditioned box...
2. you are a SPOILT brat who doesn't know how to roll up your sleeves and go thru suffering wif a smile on your face... which if you don't know how to do, i seriously advise you to quit studying medicine or whatever it is you're studying and learn more about real life... real life serves up ppl who REALLY want to put your face in the mud and step on it, while we seniors are merely presenting a "physical metaphor" of what you're gonna get for the rest of your life from ppl around you, ppl close to you, and ppl whom you don't know...
3. you DON'T know how to be a friend... your frens all around you are "suffering"(since you view it as such) and yet you aren't willing to help support them and "suffer" along with them...

hmm... that's all i can think of... it makes perfect sense to me, but i fear it could be because i'm standing on the other side of the fence...
anyone on the junior side(way down below there looking up on us hi n mighty seniors:P) care to "enlighten" on why ragging is bad?

xus larom

no... it's not latin... it's just that moral sux so badly...and today it was extra bad...
hmm... firstly its from 4-6 which is BAD... really BAD.. especially when you've alredi been in uni since the break of dawn...
and then you have a..umm... she's actually not a bad lecturer... just one woman with a terribly bad attitude when she's kinda unhappy :(...
haihz... anyway today, we found out that we had a movie report to do... play to prepare... umm.. how much else?
oh YES!!... there IS something else... and the suxy moral teacher refused to move our moral exam next week which is happening at the same time as Orientation Treasure Hunt... and this when more than half the class is involved in it... ish, she's quite nice most of the time... but come on...~! it's ORIENTATION!!

but on the bright side, results came out for CVS today...n i got an A!! :)
no, i'm not boasting... i know what i did.. or rather how much i didn't do...but somehow God still sees fit to grant me this results...still, it's quite tough to go round telling other ppl u got an A when most of your friends are looking at a fail in the eye(fail in IMU btw, is B-)... hrmm...
oh... and to cap it all off today, after the super sucky moral... we went to "de-stress" and p-x... and for some reason... today all the ppl we played today are SUPER sucky players... not noobs mind you, though they aren't good players either... in fact, i shouldn't even call them players... i mean, how can you call yourself a dotA player when you join games and then leave when you're losing.. COME ON!!! what're you? even royalty knows how to lose.. and here you are leaving games just cos' u got a sucky hero or cos' u died first... and not once or twice... FOUR TIMES!!!... that's it-la... i'm not playing anymore unless its with own IMU ppl or at nite wif full team when there's REAL ppl worth playing against who don't LEAVE!!... or maybe i should quit dotA altogether :P... heheh, i remember i posted about quitting dotA b4... looks like it's a long way away... :(

woah!!

woah!! i haven't been online in a week...
tomoro classes start:(.. well.. no more fun and games.. it's sem3...
hopefully i survive thru this sem.. don't think i'll have much time for dotA anymore... church will be taking up wat's remaining hopefully...
on a brighter note... juniors are coming in this week.. registration on wed and meet senior's on friday... whee~! :)... that's something to look fwd to:)...
orientation hasn't started but i feel that it rox alredi :)

blue skies

Blue skies
Smiling at me
Nothing but blue skies
Do i see
-Ella Fitzgerald

yup :) the haze is gone... not that the problem is solved though... it just moved away to another place...
its now in penang and other northern states...

i'm on my last break this week... won't have anymore holidays till next YEAR!! :(... but anyway... will be gone to JB from wed to friday...

haze again

hmm.. the haze seems better today... hehe, today i finally "found" vista after some 2-3 days of it being missing...
on other stuff... i'd been going thru old mail and websites... i've added a link to a rather thoughtful and meaningful blog by a chinese muslim who blogs regularly about stuff happening in Malaysia and abroad... it's really good especially if you're into politics and stuff like that... but even if you're not... it really get's you thinking about stuff though...

haze

the haze is really bad...
there's even smoke in my house!!... that's not all, even my towel smells of smoke!!
how much more worse can it get...
the sunlight is even yellow now... it's almost like some magical place where you have perpetual mist and light without heat... which would be cool... if only if it didn't smell of smoke everywhere and everyone coughing and sneezing... topped of with it being harder to breath...

i'm back

yay... i'm really back now :)... actually yesterday back alredi.. but didn't have time to go online cos' was out of the house:... but well, i'm here now... yeah, 1 more day and i have holidays coming for a week...

KKB

will be going KKB this week... hopefully if Ken drives i'll be able to be back for the weekend, but if he isn't well... no big deal anyway...
heh, which means i'll be having no internet access for a week...

acknowledgements

to God :), for literally keeping me alive till this very day. Without you there wouldn't have been a 21st birthday for me to celebrate. I offer my life to you in return...

to mummy and papa and ko, and cheng2, for being the best birthday gift i could ever ask for. Friends you get to choose, but family is who you get when you're born with. In that sense, you're the best gift i could ever have because i didn't choose you, but God chose you for me...

to mei, bcos' you were always there... so in that sense... your birthday gift to me has been being given since we first met... some friends come, some friends go... but some just stick there :P

to joyce, daniel, noel, yibing, chiyuan, mok, leena... you're all God's gift to me when i couldn't see what was in front of my eyes cos' i was looking too far ahead... i couldn't ask for more... thanks for not just being friends... but for being friends for an eternity :)

to JQ, hailiang, kexin, szesiew, callista, kimkwan, chinpei, christina, yeangwee, emma, thanks for the cake, msgs and celebration... but my gratitude extends not just for the things you've given me, but for the ppl that you are :)

to yingky, bernard, jane, eeyin, chloe, anna, jenern, thanks so much... you are not just names on a list of ppl who msgd me, but ppl from different places in my life who've all made a difference... Thank You..

ok-lah... it's a bit long and late in being blogged out, but i didn't want to miss out or forget anyone... thanks so much everyone for just being FRIENDS who care :)...

Thank You God for the friends you've given me... I offer all my relationships into your hands... use them as you will Lord...

yup, i think that's about all :)

*edited 1/80/05- heh, my sunday school class threw me a "surprise" party yesterday... for me n jane.. whose birthday falls one day b4 mine(which i failed to remember...ish...)

grace

heh... i rediscovered wat grace means last nite...
grace is something you totally don't deserve and don't expect to be given or done for you but is done anyway...
heh, my grandma gave me an angpau for my birthday... so that was cool... b4 opening it i was expecting 50 bucks or sth like that so i was telling myself, "okay... you're SO not going to spend birthday money on dotA or some useless stuff like dat..."
and then i opened the angpau... and inside got 100 bucks...

oh man...i so don't deserve this...

okay, i'm going shopping monday, to buy some stuff that'll really be worth 100 bucks... yeah, for real... probably some shirts or a watch or something cool to remember... yup, dotA is for losers

update

hmm...haven't updated in a while...
am currently undergoing rotations now... it's actually quite umm... weirdly sucky, or suckily weird.. cos' i'm kinda free... yet kinda have stuff to do...
it's like going to class when all the ppl in the class aren't the normal ppl you hang out with, like having holiday yet having stuff to do, and yet still having lotsa free time... ~_~..
i feel quite "hanging in between"...
oh well... looking fwd to hai liang and andrew coming back tonite from KKB...

games

heh.. i've been spending the whole of last week playing computer games... not the whole week-lah... just everyday, morning till nite till morning for 4 days practically playing non stop:P... heh, its because hailiang's back home, and he doesn't want to take back his laptop, so he asked us to take care of it for about a week... so i ended up with the laptop, and a stack of games...
heh, i've been playing "Evil Genius" like crazy since monday... and took breaks of dotA in the afternoon, meals and sleep... yeah, that's about it... heheh, yeah... never played so much computer b4...
hmm.. not good huh?
oh yeah, i forgot... my right wrist is slightly sore from moving the mouse too much:P..heh, yeah... i was playing that much:P....
but i did find time to finish a book too, "Boy Meets Girl" by Joshua Harris... yeah, its a really good book on christian relationships, and how BGR fits into God's purpose for use :)...

Nephilim

heh... to celebrate the holidays i'm double posting:)
and yeah, i found a new nick for dotA and other stuff...
it's from the bible... and it's really cool..

Nephilim-(Gen. 6:4; Num. 13:33, R.V.), giants, the Hebrew word left untranslated by the Revisers, the name of one of the Canaanitish tribes. The Revisers have, however, translated the Hebrew gibborim, in Gen. 6:4, "mighty men."

Genesis 6:4
The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went to the daughters of men and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.

Numbers 13:33
We saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."

The origination of the Nephilim begins with a story of the fallen angels. Originating in the Book of Enoch {Apocrypha} Shemhazai, an angel of high rank, led a sect of angels in a descent to earth to instruct humans in righteousness. The mission lasted for a few centuries, but soon the soldiers/missionaries/angels became corrupted in their lusting after human females. After lusting, the fallen angels instructed the women in magic and conjuring, mated with them, and produced offspring, who would later be referred to as the Nephilim.

hmm... okay, so maybe the meaning and origin of this name isn't as cool as i thought it'd be..seems like Nephilim are actually the bad guys... but it still sounds nice, so i think i'll stick with it.. besides, i'm not perfect myself anyway, and.. yeah, i think it kinda fits...

if you're interested and have time like i do now.. you can visit http://www.ldolphin.org/nephilim.html for further info on Nephilim:).. but its super long and i didn't bother reading till the end anyway:P

holidays!!!

yeah!! i'm on holiday for one week!! woohoo...~!
hahaha... it feels like an eternity since the last holiday...
anyway, i kicked off holidays yesterday with a dotA package:) wif the guys, pasar malam wif the girls, and mamak with mei... heh, cool~!!

friendster

lately i've been sort of "copy-paste-posting"... so i wasn't thinking on doing another "copy-paste" post, but i couldn't help it... this is, hilarious :>:>.. albeit slightly umm.. hurtful maybe... but wat the heck... it's hilarious :)=)

Written By: Mr Brian -
http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=2730629
Date: Sunday, July 03, 2005 1:04:00 AM
Subject: BEST. BULLETIN. EVER. MUST READ!
Message: Okay.
I'm sick of this.

Friendster has been chewed up and spit out like
bad bacon by Malaysians. Why? The bad use of
English, the act of retardedism and most
importantly, the disgusting and unfathomable
pictures of you guys acting cute.

Puffing up your cheeks DOES NOT make you look
cute. It just emphasises on how you're trying to
hold back a burp. You look like a pufferfish. A
moronic pufferfish.

Taking a shot from the top is alright, but do not
ever open your eyes super wide and act cute.
Never. It freaks people out, gives hentai lovers a
description of how you're begging to get your face
sprayed all over with cum. Oh yeah, you look like
a dog too. My dog. So bark?

DO NOT EVER PUT THIS IN YOUR CAPTIONS
NOR
YOUR PROFILE ! : aIyaA,pEoPle sAY i CutE aNd
PrEtTy bUt i dUn thInkS sO liAu,wHat dO u
tHink ??

DO NOT EVER DO HAND GESTURES. It just
symbolises
on your stupidity and how you are trying so hard
to speak 'Retard' in sign language.especially the
peace sign. it's so friggin annoying. with the puffy
cheeks,big eyes and peace sign. ugh,lalaness !

euu; miie; blahblahblahinserthereenlongatedword.
They are creative, so to speak, but when you write
compositions, you don't spell them like that, do
you? I'd rather you take the time to spell every
word correctly and leave a good impression on
foreigners, than leave your dimwit-slime all over.

Get your grammar and vocabulary right. "Love
hurts", not "Love hurt".

I merely want you all to change for the better of
not only the country, but for your own sake too.
But hey, read on.

Whoever doesn't sign admits the fact that he/she
has condemned himself or herself to my list of
so-to-speak dumbpricks and/or crackheads.
Inducing
on that fact, you are also welcome to my full list
of insults, garbage and junk.If I have offended
any of you, you are a loser as you are easily
agitated by just an internet mail.

dEn sOmE pE0p|e lIk3 t0 tYpE liKe ThAt i dUnN0
wHy..SeE liA0 eY3s aLs0 p4iN mAn

I'd also like to give this bulletin a finishing
touch. All that copying and pasting forwarded
testimonials, are lame. Please. Dumb. Disgusting.
Totally. Write your own testimonial or don't send
one at all! Oh, I forgot to mention. Testimonials
are statements or character and conduct
presented
to others as a mark of esteem. Not places for you
to type teddy bears and pictures. moron.

lol...
on the other hand... i do think this guy is a jerk..but that doesn't make this any less hilarious :P

paradox of our times

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers;
Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints;
We spend more, but have little;
We buy more and enjoy it less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families;
More conveniences, but less time;
We have more degrees, but less common sense;
More knowledge, but less judgement;
More experts, but more problems;
More medicine, but less wellness.
We spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
Drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much and do not pray often.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom and lie to often.
We have learned how to make a living, but not a life;
We have added years to life, not life to years.
We have been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour.
We have conquered out space, but not inner space;
We have done larger things, but not better things;
We have cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul;
We have split the atom, but not out prejudice;
We write more, but learn less.
We have learned to rush, but not to wait;
We have higher incomes; but lower morals;
More food but less appeasement;
More acquaintances, but fewer friends;
More effort but less success.
We build better computers to hold more information, produce more copies than ever, yet have less communication;
We have become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and upset stomachs;
More kinds of food, but less nutrition.
These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare;
More leisure and less fun;
These are the days of two incomes, but more divorce;
Of fancier houses, but broken homes;
Tall men and short character;
Steep profits, and shallow relationships.
These are the days of quick trips, throwaway morality, 1-night stands,
and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the show window, and nothing in the show window.

hmm... you may have recieved this at one time or another thru the mail or anywhere else... its long... but i think its worth thinking about... and probably doing something about too...
what is our life full of? nyeh... some of the stuff applies to me too... so i'm going to try to change the stuff that i italic'd in my life... yay... :)

studying

heh... it's 1 am n i'm up studying... feeling surprisingly awake for some reason...
hmm... was reading thomas' blog...don't reli know how i'm gonna handle sem 3 EOS when it comes... seems like a whole lot of stuff... well, no use worrying before it's time... i'll handle it when it get's here... but why oh why does it have to happen during CHRISTMAS of all times... hmph...

Welcome to my life

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like

To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like

To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like, what it's like
[x2]

Welcome to my life [x3]

was listening to this the other day...
i think its really quite sad but true.. ppl all around us are hurting and hurting each other... and all we do is ignore and continue on with our own lives because we don't know what it's like...
and then i think that if this song were sung to christians it would be quite true... cos' most of us have NEVER had it tough, and if we have we try not to show it in church, so church becomes a place not for ppl to be given a chance, to be "saved", but just another place to try to be better...
heh, who am i to talk... i'm not much better... but i can't help but notice... that when life sux, the first ppl i go to aren't christians... but my other "normal" frens who would understand wat i'm going thru without telling me how i should be behaving or doing stuff...

morning :) :)

haha... today i had a GREAT morning :)
cos' i slept at 10 last nite and woke up at 8...which means i slept for 10 hours... haha, haven't slept that long since... since...don't know.. :|..
anyways.. last nite the light in my room couldn't switch on... so like, i couldn't study... but after trying to study ECG at the dining table i gave up after about an hour, cos' it was so uncomfortable... and the computer table was occupied by dad... living was occupied by mum...so, having no where else, i decided to try switching on the light again... well it still didn't work, so... why bother?i just went to sleep...
hehe, and then sometime last night or early this morning it rained.. which improved the "quality" of sleep by much much :)
so, long sleep+rain at nite= refreshing state of awakeness... so i'm powered up to study today :) yay... let's hope i finish most or all of my remaining lectures today so that i can start memorizing :)

zhiyong

dropped

hmm... my post frequency has dropped dramatically this month... actually its been coming over the past few months... i think its cos' of me spending more time in IMU.. haih... don't know if i should keep this blog going...
on the one hand i won't be updating frequntly... on the other hand..it's nice to have a place to complain and rant...

fears

fears... today we were talking bout fear in sunday school.. hmm.. ok-lah, on the spur of the moment i answered that i don't have any fears in class... heh, typical "macho-guy" response?... nolah.. i DO have fears... just that i don't think much about fears cos' i'm... uhh.. afraid of them?
i suppose i'm also afraid of losing my friends either by death or rejection... but not so much as i used to last time...
i suppose i the sickness i would fear most would be dementia or senility... stuff that makes you go crazy... can't imagine myself... or even ppl close to me, like my parents or friends going crazy...
but i think wat i fear most is losing my parents.. yeah, can't imagine losing my dad or my mum...
hmm... oh yeah, it FATHER'S DAY... my dad probably won't read this... but i think he's the coolest dad ever :)... okay, let's not bring up the fact that he's the only dad i'll ever have... ~_~

home and family

home... where is your home?
family... who is your family?
for some reason i've been thinking about this lately...

yups, still around

yeah, i'm still around... exam just over yesterday...
actually i don't really have much to blog about, but heh, want to put something up so that the previous post can start moving downwards... ehh... a bit paiseh also still having the blog on my sister's birthday still there after a week...

zhizheng

lol... a bit funny... first my name, then my sister's..
but anyway.. it's my sister's birthday tomoro :)
so here's a little msg for here which hopefully she'll read...

Hey, cheng-cheng:P
happy birthday... although this isn't much... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!:) thanks for all the times you've been nice to me and for giving me stuff... although i don't always say thanks or show my gratitude... but thanks...you'll always be the best sister i'll ever have ;)... Keep growing in the knowledge and maturity of God:)

zhiyong

happy birthday,
you're 17 today,
no longer a girl but a lady,
stand tall today,
be proud of all you've done,
cos' i'm proud of who you've become.

yeah, i know it doesn't really rhyme exactly... but hey, it's the heart that counts rite?and i'm not telling how long it took to come up with that... ;)
happy birthday cheng... :)

zhiyong

have you ever tried googling your own name?... heh, the results can be quite interesting... this is what i came up with...

*Tang Zhiyong, the former general manager of Shanghai Baosteel Equipment Maintenance Company, who together with two others accepted bribes worth 4.6 million yuan.

and this:
*During the Sui Dynasty (589-618 AD) the monk Zhiyong, a seventh-generation descendant of Wang Xizhi, produced many copies of traditional Wang style writings for distribution among various temples throughout (modern day) Zhejiang province. Zhiyong was also the teacher of Yu Shinan, an assistant in the Palace Library at the Sui court who went on to hold more senior academic positions at the early Tang court under Taizong

heheh... try it yourself :)... you'll never know who you are :P

call a doctor

I recently realized the enormity of the task of a doctor...
it actually struck me when i was taking my first aid course. Among some of the basic rules for first aid is that if the situation is too serious or out of your control... call emergency medic service... which leads you to a doctor. If you're facing any sort of medical problem, call a doctor. If you don't know what to do in a n emergency, call a doctor.. for that matter, whenever an emergency occurs, the first person you call is normally a doctor.
heh, then i realized that becoming a doctor is akin to being like being some sort of "superman"... cos' you're expected to know what to do when nobody knows what to do, you're expected to "save the day" when everyone's panicking and running for cover, you're expected to save a life that would otherwise die.

hmm...and then i come to what i'm studying now... and it seems quite scary cos' what i study now doesn't seem to teach you anything related to being that "superman" :P... well, i suppose you could say you've to learn the basics n stuff like that... but yeah, suddenly you realize how important it is to pay attention in class.. ;) this coming from the guy who falls asleep in class almost everyday, lol... today being one of those days...

blogger's prayer

heh... found this in william's blog...

Saturday, May 21, 2005
check out something out that i found. its funny but also serious.
The Blogger's Prayer
The Blogger's Prayer 1.1 by Andrew Jones (June, 2002)

Our Father
who lives above and beyond the dimension of the internet

Give us this day a life worth blogging,
The access to words and images that express our journey with passion and integrity,
And a secure connection to publish your daily mercies.
Your Kingdom come into new spaces today,
As we make known your mysteries,
Posting by posting,
Blog by blog.

Give this day,
The same ability to those less privileged,
Whose lives speak louder than ours,
Whose sacrifice is greater,
Whose stories will last longer.

Forgive us our sins,
For blog-rolling strangers and pretending they are friends,
For counting unique visitors but not noticing unique people,
For delighting in the thousands of hits but ignoring the ONE who returns,
For luring viewers but sending them away empty handed,
For updating daily but repenting weekly.

As we forgive those who trespass on our sites to appropriate our thoughts without reference,
Our images without approval,
Our ideas without linking back to us.

Lead us not into the temptation to sell out our congregation,
To see people as links and not as lives,
To make our blogs look better than our actual story.

But deliver us from the evil of pimping ourselves instead of pointing to you,
From turning our guests into consumers of someone else's products,
From infatuation over the toys of technology,
From idolatry over techology
From fame before our time has come.

For Yours is the power to guide the destinies behind the web logs,
To bring hurting people into the sanctuaries of our sites,
To give us the stickiness to follow you, no matter who is watching or reading.
Yours is the glory that makes people second look our sites and our lives,
Yours is the heavy ambience,

For ever and ever,
Amen

yeah, like william said... its funny, but also quite worth reflecting upon...
btw... yeah, its william's 21st birthday :) he's in Aus though... pity...

small world

its a really small world...
last nite i went to watch Star Wars III with andrew and his fren(Michelle)...
that she studied in NUS i knew-lah.. but then when she said she knew my brother... wah, suddenly the world seems so much smaller... apparently they both stay in the same hall and have seen each other before... okay..which also means she knows joshua teo who also stays in the same hall(King Edward VII)...

anyway, i was browsing through links... and found out that this friend of daniel's... sueanne... know adeline gong.. who goes to IMU... uhh, yeah... so its wierd... its like ppl i know are suddenly "connected" to other ppl i know that i never knew could know...

narnia

if you all haven't heard... there's news that the story The Lion,The Witch and The Wardrobe is being made into a movie... i first read this story when i was a kid... and about 10 years later.. now, when i take the book out, its still as cool to read as always...
i think it'll make a good movie, esp since its quite short... so i think it'll be safe to assume that it won't be like LOTR...and... Disney is producing it... so it should be good:)

blogopoly

heheh... i thought this is pretty cool... blogopoly ... via sivinkit.net
haih... sitting in library studying while waiting for CAL... anyways, since its nursing week... i think i'm mentioning this again but anyway, its nursing week n i don't have classes the whole week... cos will be in hospital wed n thurs while today n tomoro nth really much to do....

nursing week

this week is nursing week... so technically i don't have lecture for the whole week... but then on wed n thurs have to wake up at 5 to go Seremban Hospital to learn to be nurse...
hope this nursing week is survivable...

jargon

people in a group tend to like jargon.. it's actually kinda cool to have your own personal lingo amongst a group of frens.. until u start forcing it on other ppl that is...

last weekend i was in CF camp... it's really bad(uhh, no not the camp), but i realized that among christians we tend to talk in a certain way... like when have you ever talked about "righteousness, salvation, eternity, holiness, divinity.." n stuff like dat among your frens... still, its no wonder non-christians feel downright out of place amongst some christians..
i also realized this happens amongst doctors... let's try physiology,myocardial infarction, cerebrovascular emboli... well, at least doctors don't try to make you believe in something...

n/eways... today in IMU we had this IRF thing... it was pretty enlightening actually...muslims and christians actually have much in common in our ideas about the purpose of life(muslims purpose of life is to serve n worship Allah), where we go after death n stuff... but i suppose where we split off is where we stand on forgiveness i think...

death

Joseph's mum just passed away. Its extremely sudden n saddening.
won't really blog much today although just came back from camp...

off again

it seems i'm hardly ever home nowadays... it's really bad.. n today i'm going off for camp again till sunday... haih, reli shud put aside more time to be in the house... hmm, actually even when i AM in the house i'm hardly even seen cos' i'm probably in my room sleeping/studying... alamak, how come like this...

anyway... going off for CF camp, uhh... yeah, in genting, Peacehaven... i'll probably blog about this again when i get back cos'... yeah, lotsa stuff happened in the preparation of this camp-lah... but anyway... hopefully its enjoyable :) hmm, but i suppose more importantly, that its "God-sent".. :)

returned

urm... yeah, actually today i just came back from a retreat... a really good wan-lah... it was a Sunday School Teacher's Retreat, n yeah... i rarely come back from a camp feeling so "high"-la...but also actually quite draining for some reason... i think bcos rarely use brain so much for church stuff...
anyway.. am quite excited for the future prospect of where Sunday School is going... hopefully we can maintain the "high" we're currently on n achieve the dreams we have...
uh, yeah... in case ya'll dunno... i'm teaching youth sunday school class...

again

heheh, referring to previous post cos' of something i thought of...
mei sent me a rather thought provoking mail some time ago regarding wat i've just blogged...
it's a bit long but, yeah... i think worth reading thru...

Jonathan,
I loved this post but I must disagree with the Catholic part. Ireally dont like to get into talking about other denominations, it'ssuch an unstable subject with me. I just don't want to try to be the"best" or "favorite"member of believers. Lately, I have come to therealization that man is trying to worship a great God in whatever wayseems possible to him. Some call Him Great Spirit, some call HimBright Light in the Sky, some call HimAll Knowing or All Powerful. It all boils down to the same God. (Notspeaking about outright idol worship of the disobedient of course.)
When I was in bible school, someone taught us about the down points ofother religions. Trust me, I learned them all. I even have a hugenotebook with chapters of information from a ministry that hunts downthese religions and warns' others about them. Even though theinformation from the notebook and class was interesting, I just feltit in my heart not to take the class so seriously. Judge not lest yebe judged. I make too many mistakes to say that I belong to the onlytrue religion out there, (non-denominational). My take on it is, aslong as you believe in Jesus of Nazareth and accept Him as yourpersonal Saviour, you are fine. I need to make the reader aware alsothat the bible also states that some people worship another Jesus, Iunderstand that there may be some who do. With the discernment thatGod has given me, I can tell when that time has arisen around me so,therefore, I back out gracefully and pray for the practitioner.
Yesterday a couple of young men came knocking on my door, one black,one white. They were Mormons who live across the street from my home.They wanted to talk to me about the bible. I kindly stepped outsideto talk with them for a minute. I didn't want to shoo them off like apair of bandits because after all, it is all about Jesus and where twoor three are gathered in His name, there He will be in the midst ofthem. Not only that, they were obedient enough to go out two by twoas the Word of God commands uswhich is more than what I have ever done, especially in this badweather. I have seen them walk in freezing, rainy weather when peoplewere afraid to empty their garbage because of the cold.
In bible school we were taught about the Mormons and their practices. I have my library of VCR tapes about their alleged secret temples andhigh suicide rates, etc. Even their name means a type of monster inJapan which is supposedly why they took on the name "Latter DaySaints" because in Japan "mormon" is a type of monster...hence,"pokemon" the cartoon, which means pocket monster." I have heard itall. As they stood there, trying to do a good deed for the Lord God,my question was, "what can I do for them to help out the Kingdom?" Iexplained that I had just pastored a church in our town for threeyears and I do have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Theywere glad. They asked if I ever read their Mormon bible and I showedthem that I had one, (which I keep in my library for informational andteaching purposes but I didn't have to tell them all of that.) Theyasked why I never became a Mormon since I had read their bible. Ijust simply explained that I use the King James version and that Idisagreed with some of their teachings. They were kind about it.After I talked to them about my beliefs and what God's Word says in mybible, they soon began to ask about my neighbors. I teased the blackone about looking like the Rock from WWE wrestling and they bothlaughed. He looked exactly like him too, handsome. I told them, "hey,anyway, we are all brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus." They smiledand agreed and simply walked away. I didn't condemn them to hell andinvite them in to see my video tape on Mormonism that I had received afew years ago with the purposes to sway me from joining the Mormon wayof life. I wasn't afraid!!!
That is how we should all be with one another...not afraid. We shouldhave such a personal relationship with God that nothing can sway us asPaul said in the NewTestament in Romans 8:35-39..."Who shall separate us from the Love ofChrist?"
I will keep those brothers in prayer that Jesus will have His way withthem and their lives. Isn't that what we are supposed to do? Honestly. We have bad Lutherans, bad Methodists, bad Baptists, badNon-Denominational, as well as the good people in each of thedifferent catagories, denominations and churches. People get angrywith me and say that I am passive or whatever the word is. Actuallythey are angry at the Jesus in me. Didn't Jesus say, Love thyneighbor as thyself?" satan wants us to hate one another and blameone another. Old folks have a joke about the World War...how didHitler take Poland? He got Poland and Russia to argue with oneanother and it wasover. That's what's happening to Christianity today. I have heardmore Catholic bashing than one would want to admit. I agree thatthings that they are going through is terrible right now. But aren'tother denominations suffering also? What we should do is pray for oneanother that satan will not be able to have his way with us. Whatabout theBaptists that don't believe in speaking in tongues? Do they belong inhell? Or the Methodists who don't believe in beating tambourines?
We cannot take our eyes off of Jesus right now or ever. When you takeyour eyes off of Jesus and start focusing on others and theirdenominations, you are in all actuality turning your back on Jesus. You lose. You have to turn your back on Him to see what's behind youright?
I understand that Iraq's old name was Babylon and yada yada yada. Once we keep our focus on Jesus Christ-the Lord of the Battles, wedon't have to worry which country the Whore will spring out of. Let'sleave that to the Kings and Rulers. God has a hand on the rulersalso, we should continue to pray for them. I hate finger pointingwithin the body of Christ. The head hates the toe and the toe pointsto the arm. The arm hates the neck and the neck dogs out the head. We all need each other, amen?

Rev. Essie Scott

it's cool

yeah, it's cool... this is the most frequent i've blogged in a long long time...
although i'm not sure wat to post about... but yeah, at least i'm regularly being regular...

ok-lah, for the sake of myself i'll just put something here that makes it worth your time coming here... uhh, yeah something-lah...
anyway, today i realized that i kinda had some sort of prejudice against catholics... in fact as far as i can remember think i thot of them as being slightly cultish and super traditional partly cos' i always remember ppl telling me that they believe that mother Mary as being God or something like that...and traditional cos' i always hear about Mass(which i don't know wat it is in fact)...
that is until came to IMU n met Desmond... in fact other than the fact that his bible has a few other books called the Apocrypha and that he calls identifies himself as a catholic(unlike most of the other christians who know not wat denomination they're in and thus take the umbrella denomination of protestant which roughly translates in our understanding as to being non-catholic)... he's pretty much a normal fired up christian... much more fired up than most christians i know, more friendly also.. but also with his weaknesses and all-lah...
so nowadays i find it kinda irks me that ppl sort of segregate btw christians and catholics...yeah, thinking about that, i realize many times whe form prejudices and misconceptions about other groups of ppl without really understanding what or who they are... for that matter we hardly bother to find out cos' it doesn't hurt anyone we know, and anyone who doesn't "fit" into our circle is okay to hurt...
put a bit crude but yeah, i think its true to an extent... we don't really care about others until we can start to "connect" or put a face to them...

so yeah, i will try to learn more about catholics from now on...

its over

yay... summative one is over... now to get back to normal life :)..
and yeah...yesterday would have been the last day of dotA for me, "everything that has a beginning, has an end".. so yeah, its time to stop dotA n get on with real life :)...

exams... :(

"...The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:21b

uhh.. yeah, i know, i know... i didn't update for very long... its all IMU and guinsoo's fault... one for making my schedule so packed and the other for creating dotA which takes up watever miserable scraps of my time are left...
but then, contrary to wat i would have most ppl think.. i'm not actually dead busy... i'm just making myself busy cos' i don't wanna fail exams... which sucks really... i hate studying hard...

anyway, one of my lecturers asked us an interesting question.. what would we do if we failed our exams and couldn't become doctors... what would we do? it was a good question, cos' then you start thinking beyond exams n stuff like that...
i think if i really do fail my exams i might probably volunteer in some charity organization that helps poor or suffering ppl like Mercy Malaysia or sumthing liddat... yeah, that'll be cool...

but yeah, then i realized that my passing exams is really in God's hands.. n that i shouldn't spend all my time studying and worrying about exams... just that when its time to study then study...and when its time to serve then serve :)... yeah, so i'm not going to worry about passing Summative 1 anymore...

blackout

there was a black out this night... earlier i mean, or else i wouldn't be able to type this...
but i realized 1 of the syokkest thing about sabah n KK was the night sky...
u could look up at the night sky and.. WOW!!... the sight of all the stars in the sky was enough to keep you looking till your neck started to hurt...
the other even better thing was the silence... if you stopped talking you could actually hear the wind blow... the birds sing... u know... stuff dat you don't hear in a city.. n DEFINITELY you don't hear any traffic...

changes

it seems like an eternity since i last posted... actually its been a week... which is actually a really long time... haih, so wat's changed since i've last been here...
daniel's page has changed... i've started combing my hair to the side now... again actually... it used to be on the side when i was uhh... when i was... younger... n then when i became... uhh, that is... after some time and when i became... uhh... older... i combed to centre parting... heheh, can't remember when i started n stopped centre n side partings... but i discovered something...
not everyone can change their parting or hair style at will, like me... lol, some of my girl batch mates were quite surprised when i changed the direction of my hair flow overnite... apparently they can't do the same... i think its bcos girls always perm their hair, so rosak the natural "change-ability" of hair :P

home

haven't been home lately, so it was kinda cool yesterday when i spent all day in IMU...
not cool in the sense that i didn't hav to see my parents, but cool as in, its nice to be able to have a home away from home kinda thing... anyways, this is what happened...
Yesterday drove to IMU cos' andrew didn't have lab in the morning and i did, so i had the car in IMU... so, after class i was in library doing PBL n studying, then chin pei asked me to take her to clinic... yeah, so that was like my good deed of the day :)... so yalah, then the nice part was after CF, kexin cooked dinner for us... so it was nice to be able to have "home-cooked" food outside home... although not enough(after that have to have burger), but nice-lah... cos' a bit like family where everybody eat together n then after that talk abit den ciao back to own homes...
oh yeah, this is the last month i'm playing dotA, after this i'm officially going to quit :)... yeah, i find its kinda starting to "own" me;)... yeah... after April u won't see me dotA-ing anymore... partly also cos' money no enuff for this habit...

why?

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said "Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry
you said he was stronger than all of those guys
addy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?"

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide

So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said, "Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can't You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?"

"My precious Son, I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"

-Nichole Nordeman-

umm...yeah... this song was presented over easter during CF n TU... i actually wanted to post it on saturday, but then it would have made the post like a bit long.. n today i had nth much to post so post this song-lah...

but anyway, its worth remembering that no matter how "powerful" or "meaningful" an easter experience can be...whether at the calvary musical or a service in church... its pretty much worth nothing if it only lasts till monday morning...no?

good friday, better saturday, best easter :P

actually i don't really know how easter is gonna be yet, but so far this year's easter weekend is a bit special for me-lah... :)
actually the past 2 weeks a bit susah-lah cos' new semester hasn't been easy-lah, readjusting schedules to fit church n IMU together... anyway, most days have been from morning to nite with me coming back to study only...
so on friday we had Good Friday service as usual, but this one was a bit cool-lah... cos' Ps. Ang organized this candle thingy where one of 7 candles gets blown out everytime someone reads thru a passage relating to the 1 of the 7 stages of Christ's death... ok, fast foward to today-lah...

actually today didn't really start out well... had CPR class in the morning... rush here n there to buy stuff n send ppl around... anyway, arrived at TU quite moodless-lah... ok, i'll get to the point...
this TU was the first time that i actually really planned to do something that i really wanted to do that would be quite uhh... meaningful n hopefully life impacting-lah... it's really very fulfilling when after you've learned something and you realize that it means so much to you that you want to share it with someone else...
anyway, i didn't really do much... i sort of delegated everything 4 everyone else to do, but basically wat we did was an activity where chocolate was offered to everyone in the room and chiyuan had to do 7 pumps for everyone, regardless of whether they accepted it or not... typing it out doesn't really seem like much... but when chiyuan was doing it, as it was when ian did it in CF, you really begin to understand how much Christ gave for us... seeing someone do 200+ pumps so that everyone in the room can get chocolates or donuts hardly begins to compare Jesus dying so that everyone in the world can get eternal life... but its stuff like this that helps us understand the power of the cross, or how much Jesus really gave...

looking forward to tomorrow... :)

replies to comments

i was actually going to post something else about doctors and the use of jargon, but i realized dat ppl hav been posting comments to my posts n i didn't reply... so bad of me... so i'm replying here :P

to bernard, concerning dotA:
don't dotA so much, the more you dotA the less money you have to spend on... uhh, on... on... hmm... oh no, dotA is the only thing i spend money on nowadays.. lol, no-lah... but seriously, no... don't dotA so much :P... if not u bcom like me... always borrowing money from ppl...

to my bro., concerning mei:
ehh... actually u HAVE met her b4... der was once she came in2 the house while u were playing piano, but i dun think u noticed :P... she's a gud fren-lah... but stays in kajang, so actually i only contact her thru mail, msn, phone, sms, snail mail, uhh... ok-lah... that probably covers all modern modes of communication, but yalah... contact quite not frequently, but meaningfully... ehh, no, in case you're wondering... there's no romantic connnexion, i failed at that about 5+ years ago:P

to all those jealous of me, concerning kinabalu:
haha... go yourself-lah... it actually will only cost about 500+ bucks if u just go for the climb :P... 1000+ if u go water rafting, parasailing, seeing fire-flies... and having lotsa fun-lah ;)... mwahaha...

to daniel, concerning spirituality in blogs:
ehh... heheh, kinda wierd but thanks for the "spiritual advice" :P lol, the roles are reversed ;) yeah...

blogs

i was browsing thru blogs just now... just doing something to get my mind of that stupid kinabalu report i have to finish b4 friday... haih, not to mention PBL which is so stressful nowadays...
n/eways... there's Daniel's "slog", which serves to entertain... my brother's blog, which get's u to think about life stuff n christianity... there's mei, bernard and many other ppl's blog which is abt daily life... i think as time goes on, if you're really into blogging... your blog sort of becomes a reflection of yourself and what you hold as important...
hmm... makes you think doesn't it... like i'm thinking now, how come my posts aren't as "spiritual" as some others i may find... what really do i hold as most important?

i got stuck in the rain just now as i was jogging, so after waiting for about 45 mins for the rain to stop i decided to run home in the rain... i'm not really sure why i'm mentioning this...

mei is 21... :)

actually not today-lah... this post should have been made yesterday
yesterday Mei turned 21 :) so she's now qualified adult...
she also officially graduated yesterday... so she's a qualified degree holding adult :)
unfortunately ofcourse i couldn't turn up for her party...its not that i dowan to go, but then difficult-lah to go for party that's in kajang... umm, but yalah, that's just a convenient excuse for me... yeah, i know i suck... what type of friend doesn't go for his best friend's 21st birthday party... main reason was because i don't know anybody there... yeah, memang patut dimarah... i admit i'm guilty...
anyways here's to 5... yeah, i think 5 years... of great friendship :) umm... at first i thought of repeating the sms i sent her... but on second thoughts maybe not... then again, since i've already saved it i might as well...

hi, i know dis prbly wont count 4 much cos im not turning up 2mr n a single sms isnt worth much compared 2 all de gifts u'll get..bt neway, HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY:) im really really sorry i'm not coming but its not bcos ur frenship isnt important.. thruout the years,u're the best fren i cud ever ask for..its been great talking n joking thru happy n sad..frens whom i meet at church n uni r many but u've been de only 1 whos stayed in my life even when we hardly meet..i couldn't ask 4 a truer frenship..frens 4ever..panda n bulldog:)

wah... so long :O... anyway, yeah... mei's the only one who's always been there even though she's probably the one who's every excuse not to be there... she's really been a blessing to me... a support to lean on... life without mei is like coffee without coffee mate... ice cream without cone... yalah, no mei tak boleh... semua orang juga patut ada satu mei :P...

Hope you have an ntv7 filled birthday ;)... you go girl!! :P

Kinabalu pictures...

dawn...

view from mesilau trail yet again... 

the view on the way up to base camp 

the beginning of the journey at the head of the mesilau trail... notice the differences btw previous picture ;)

the end of the long journey... 

sunrise...notice the heart? ;) 

dawn on kinabalu 

mesilau trail again... 

one of the other lower peaks of Gunung Kinabalu 

shadow of the mountain 

view on the mesilau trail 

kinabalu seen from base camp 

a mushroom cloud :) 

on the way down 

finally at the top 

gospel camp

will be leaving for a camp (again)... tomoro until monday...
so anyway, at least i'm updating slightly more regularly :) and things are getting back to normal...
not hanging out in CC whole day, n having time to reply mails n stuff...
well... school's starting again, so some semblence of normality would be welcome relief to going out everyday since kinabalu and orientation...

habits

its kinda tough to get back into the habit of doing something once you've stopped for quite a while...
take blogging for example... after 2 weeks of non-blogging its suddenly so difficult to think up something which i think is mildly entertaining enough to put here... actually i don't think most of the stuff i put here is entertaining anyway...
haih... anyway... next week classes are starting again... so i've got just a few more days b4 i start hitting the books again... well, at least the holidays were good while it lasted...

never!!

i never thought this would happen to me... but my blog is turning into a "joyce-like" blog...
and i'm starting to feel lazy to update... no, CANNOT!!
ok, at least this week i'm quite free...n won't be playing much dotA... so i'll have some time to update my blog again...
semester's starting next week, so that's something to look forward to... :) n yeah, orientation's over...

i'm back

wah... i'm finally blogging after more den a week...
yeah, i'm back... actually came back 2 days ago, but didn't start blogging yet bcos' i was resting n blogging is hard work :P... not really, after coming back i was busy playing DotA... n nex week is orientation.. so, yay!! since last week i've been having nothing but fun almost 24 hours a day, and will continue doing so in the coming week :)

yeah... its good to be back :)
but on the other hand, it also feels like i'm kinda out of sync wif church... but nvm, saturday sunday's coming up...

kinabalu

uh-huh... will be going kinabalu on wednesday... so, sadly i won't be able to send off leena...
but, going KINABALU!! yeah, reli looking fwd :)
but anyway, that's beside the point... the point is, this blog will be in coma for about a week plus... until i return... but

I'LL BE BACK!!

great CNY

after last year where i had to work on the 3rd day of CNY... this years CNY was GREAT!!
and not just bcos' i'm comparing wif last year...
i realized in the toilet of all places... that we don't eat enough vege during CNY... about the only fibre we get during all the "bai nin" is from eating orange...
come on-lah... that teensy weensy small spoonful of mixed vege u took during the buffet lunch is going to do u any good when you're constipated with all the nuggets, sausages, fish, chicken, duck, deer, pig, cow... and whatever other imaginable animal that chinese ppl eat...
true or not?

CNY and shandy

very happy now :)...
feeling quite bubbly,
cos' i'm drinking jolly shandy...
funny how some ppl just light up when they get their favorite drink..
i remember in Bee's there was this guy who ta pau hot milk for his girlfren... wah, when get the milk only, the girl happy only-ah... reli like : "Whee, Yippee!!" ^-^.. dono how else to describe..

yay!! CNY is here... collect angpau... this year no need to work, so maybe can go visit frens... even happier :)

new shoes

i bought a new pair of shoes today...
my old pair which lasted about over a year self destructed while i was playing football about 2 weeks ago...
nowadays things aren't made to last like they used to :( ... i'm hoping this new pair can last at least for 2 years... a bit of wishful thinking, hopefully not...
both pairs of shoes (old n new) cost me 49.90...
the old wan came from a bata shop in kajang, courtesy of mei's insistance that kajang shoes are cheap n good... but den still spoil a bit fast-lah...
i'm hoping sri petaling shoes last longer den kajang shoes ;)

anyway, i stumbled across this blog linked to william's page... i find it really hilarious... do visit if like me u hav nothing to do but waste time...